Nervous and a bit scared

[sjconner]

Tomorrow I am flying from Montana to Denver. I am going by myself; DH is staying with our 4 kids. This will be my first appointment at the Univ of CO. I haven't flown in years. The flying doesn't really scare me just makes me nervous. Years ago, while in the Navy, I flew all the time. I am nervous and a bit scared about the appointment. I am sure it will be fine. I hate not being in control and not knowing what to expect.

I am a control freak. I do so much better when I have a handle on everything. I am way more confident planning and hosting a formal dinner for the LT Governor of the State of Montana, the Montana National Guard Adjutant General, and 106 troubled 16-18 year olds. I have done that 14 times and know exactly how it is going to go and how to keep the kids on their best behavior.

What can I expect? They already have my records. I am only scheduled to have a second opinion and/or optimization of care type of appointment. I have always been totally honest with my neuro. I tell him about every weird occurrence and let him decide if it is significant or not. Sorry just a bit uneasy. I haven't had much sleep lately.

 

[arnie]

Howdy! I agree with you that control freaks have a harder time than other people at coping with much of what life throws at us. I'm not a control freak but I have known and worked professionally with people who are, so I have some pretty good insight into what makes them tick. Getting rid of the anxiety that accompanies not being able to be on top of everything is not easy, especially since so much of our lives are really out of our control, especially a lot of the really important elements. The things we can actually control, like dinner parties and such, are actually pretty trivial overall, but managing things like that does give a certain illusion of control. For those of us with epilepsy there is pretty much no such thing as being in control of that element of our lives.
Anyhow, I'm not meaning to psychoanalyze you. I would only do that if I could bill your insurance!
I really do wish you well at your appointment and traveling to and from it. The unknown and out-of-control elements of our condition are overwhelming at times, aren't they? Here's a thought: find a small, smooth stone that you can put in your pocket and have with you during the flight and the appointment so you can know that you have one thing with you that is solid, unchangeable, totally predictable and totally in your control! I'm sending good wishes your way. Let us know how the appointment comes out.

 

[MrE]

I will pray for you

 

[sjconner]

Thanks ... I am at the airport in Bozeman. My daughter sent her black stuffed pony ... just in case I am lonely.


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[Cint]

What can I expect? They already have my records. I am only scheduled to have a second opinion and/or optimization of care type of appointment. I have always been totally honest with my neuro. I tell him about every weird occurrence and let him decide if it is significant or not. Sorry just a bit uneasy. I haven't had much sleep lately.

I don't remember which dr. you're seeing at the UCHSC neurology clinic. Since it's your 1st visit here, they will probably ask what made you fly to Denver and what are you wanting as far as service. Better seizure control? Better knowledge of type of seizure(s) you experience? But since there are specialist here, they can help you sort it all out. BTW, my dr. is Laura Strom.

Hold on tight during your flight into DIA. It will probably be turbulent 'cause it is very windy and trying to snow.

Good Luck!!

 

[sjconner]

I think I am seeing Dr Cornelia Drees. I have been sending my daughter pictures of her "pony" from the airports, etc. She is 8; I hope will it help her with some of the separation anxiety. We haven't been separated except of the occasional sleep-over. I have been making up stories about the other passengers. Kinda fun.