It does take time to learn how to cope. That is why I suggested you keep things in the day. It is very difficult to achieve, I know, particularly when you're suffering from seizure-phobia. I used to get really terrified of having seizures because I have always lived alone and I used to injure myself terribly. Most scary for me, though, was that waking up moment afterwards when I had no idea what had happened.
Being diagnosed with a chronic condition is one of the most stressful issues to confront but it does become easier as you learn how to cope--if you are willing to learn, and try, and fail, and then learn some more. Perhaps you need some counselling as well, to help you to get in touch with what you are feeling and to help you to process your feelings and thoughts in a healthy way. Maybe look for an epilepsy foundation in your area that can talk to you about your fears before you go away on honeymoon.
I understand the compulsion to stay at home but, for me at least, doings so only increases the chances of having a seizure because it becomes stressful and lonely to cut away at my life. In fact, I have just overcome precisely this problem today--I spent the whole long weekend at home alone--I had tried to make plans but nobody was available. By yesterday I had started to feel seizurish and today when I woke up I couldn't even think of doing anything with the day I felt so bad. I knew from past experience that if I did do something with the day I would feel better by the end of it, so that is what I have done. I took a long walk, did a whole lot of work and am about to go to the library. I feel immensely better--no more aura, no more depression, and as the result of only six hours of activity. There are certainly times when I know it is better to stay at home for the day but I try to make the most of the days when I am healthy--which is the vast majority of my days these days.
There are ways to keep yourself safe beyond holing yourself up indoors. Firstly, you should not scuba dive--that will only be a possibility if your seizures become perfectly controlled. But perhaps your fiancee can stay with you when you swim on your cruise to keep you safe. Where possible, do what you want to and find new ways of staying safe that don't cut out every possible activity that is fun. Of course you can play sports, take nature walks and run and do the vast majority of what you used to enjoy. Firstly, epilepsy is not a life sentence for most people--sometimes people actually get remission from seizure disorders and I believe that the majority of epilepsy suffers get control of their seizures through medication alone. One of my country's top cricket players has epilepsy and it has not altered his career. He makes a fortune playing sports. I'm sure you could google and find a ton of people who are living extremely successfully with epilepsy. Honestly, what is the worst that could happen if you took a ground-level hike on a nature trail? Perhaps you could fall and crack a bone or sprain an ankle? That can happen on your way between the bed and bathroom, so if you really want to prevent seizure injuries you will want to wear a helmet and confine yourself to a wheelchair--or you can take a risk and endure the occasional injury. I've cracked a cheekbone, bit my tongue almost entirely in half and gotten several black eyes, but I'll be damned if I'm going to change the way I live in case that happens again. Not a chance am I donating my entire life to keeping my bones in tact. What for? I don't do stupid things like go to strobe lit discos or scuba dive or free climb up cliff faces, but I do everything that would not kill me if I were to seize whilst doing so.
If you are feeling pessimistic about your prognosis as a result of browsing this forum, keep in mind that I don't come here when my epilepsy is not acting up. This is probably true for many others. I have gone through years on end not needing a forum like this and thus not visiting one. I thus suspect that most of the forum members here are struggling with either treatment or seizures. The others are out enjoying their lives and not thinking about seizures at all. As someone who is not entirely controlled with medication, I can tell you that epilepsy symptoms, thoughts and feelings only take up about 3% of my life--and believe me, I have had problems finding treatment and control.
I am not referring to a source but if memory serves me, some 60% of seizure sufferers have full control through medication. If medication doesn't help, there is surgery and VNS.
There is very little normality in the world, so I found it best to throw that word away. I have one friend who is entirely blind, another with cerebral palsy, another with ME and another with severe chronic depression. They are all 'normal,' as am I. The point I'm making is that there simply is no such thing as normal. And I am being honest when I say that I would rather have epilepsy than any of the conditions my friends have. Mine is highly treatable and no longer influences most of my life. Those conditions I've listed are difficult to treat, if at all, and they look, to me, to be far worse than what I go through. Sure, there are things I have to do without--I can't drive or drink or scuba dive but hell, I can bungee jump, go snorkeling, live by the beach, spend car insurance cash on more entertaining endeavours and still get everywhere I wish at low expense. I have become used to not driving, and I think about what I can do rather than what I can't. If you are keeping your life absent of the things you can do, you are letting your seizures steal away your life. That is not necessary at all. Thousands of epilepsy patients live marvelous lives. Again, this is not a death sentence, or a sentence to spend the rest of your life in bed, inactive and bored.
