Acting too young

[gowings83]

My (ex ) girlfriend recently broke up with me saying that I'm just too immature, or act like I'm 15 (I'm actually 30) and I do understand it can be frustrating. Probably doesn't help she's 20 and not exactly experienced in relationships. I've tried telling her why but I don't think she understands....even though her family is full of nurses. I tell her I've had a few concussions, bruised my brain and was told when I was 17 that I probably will not develop much more, if any. So yes I'm basically stuck in a teenagers body with everything that goes with it. Dunno what to do with my life, dunno where to go, how to do it, or even learn new skills for a good job. I just cannot learn new things, at least not very easily. It frustrates her to see me doing nothing with myself, it upsets her. Anyways she wants to work out these small issues that lead to the break up (I seen her today and she just fell in to my shoulder crying) if any body has had this please I need some help. I need to some how help her see what happens, why, and any idea on how to deal with it. I really love this girl and don't want to lose her cause of this.

 

[Nakamova]

Sounds like you have more than one issue to tackle:

Your relationship: If your ex-girlfriend is open to trying to make things work, that's terrific. Perhaps you can make a list together of areas that "need improvement," and then take small steps to make some changes. Do you think it's possible that your medication is making things worse, or that the right medication would make things better? If so, then make an appointment with your neurologist to discuss your options. Ask your ex-girlfriend to come with you -- perhaps talking to your doctor will give her some perspective on what your brain can or can't do. Ultimately though, if your ex is not ready or able to maintain your relationship you'll need to come to terms with that possibility as well.

Finding a job: Have you talked to a career counselor, or a jobs specialist in your area? They can help you think about a job that's a good fit for your skills and interests. You might try volunteering -- it's a great way to meet people, network, and build both skills and confidence.The more ways you can connect with people the better.

 

[gowings83]

Sounds like you have more than one issue to tackle:

Your relationship: If your ex-girlfriend is open to trying to make things work, that's terrific. Perhaps you can make a list together of areas that "need improvement," and then take small steps to make some changes. Do you think it's possible that your medication is making things worse, or that the right medication would make things better? If so, then make an appointment with your neurologist to discuss your options. Ask your ex-girlfriend to come with you -- perhaps talking to your doctor will give her some perspective on what your brain can or can't do. Ultimately though, if your ex is not ready or able to maintain your relationship you'll need to come to terms with that possibility as well.

Finding a job: Have you talked to a career counselor, or a jobs specialist in your area? They can help you think about a job that's a good fit for your skills and interests. You might try volunteering -- it's a great way to meet people, network, and build both skills and confidence.The more ways you can connect with people the better.

Thanks for the advise there, never thought of taking her to my neurologist and have it explained by her. I'm not too sure if it is my medication, I actually seen my neurologist yesterday and she told me the cocktail of meds I'm on do cause memory issues, anger control or just being in a bad or depressed mood. As for the relationship issues well I was already going to kinda put together a list of those small issues. They're nothing to get around, this all wouldn't have happened if she had said something. Anyways I'll try what you've said here and will hopefully have some good news....although 8 days later she still can't figure out what to say to me. Guess it's hard to lose the 1 thing you've ever had that loved and treated her the way I did/do.

 

[masterjen]

Depends on what you mean by "too young" g83. There is too young in the sense that, for example, one dresses like a 15 year old, pulls the silly pranks of a 15 year old, and plays the games of a 15 year old. All of that can be controlled, whether a person is 15 or 30 assuming intelligence is normal.

On the other hand too young can mean intellectual level and/or social developmental level is at a 15 year old level (using 15 y.o. because that is what you used). That is harder to deal with for both the person afflicted and those around him/her. A person can be born this way, or it can be caused by head injury or certain illness. Intensive therapy and educational intervention can help, and the involvement of family and friends is vital. Note that I used intellectual and/OR social developmental level. They are not the same thing.