Advice with after effects of seizure

[julesbda]

Hello everyone,
I am new to the message boards . My name is Jules and my beautiful partner Kim recently had a seizure and she was out for 15-20mins . While having the seizure ( only her 2nd seizure and the last was 5 years ago ) she had a bad concussion as well and smashed her head on the floor . Since the seizure she is basically lacking any emotion what so ever . She is away studying 4,000 miles from where i live and i'm finding it all very difficult . To begin with she decided she didn't want to come back at all to the country where i live and decided she wanted to stay in the uk ( all very sudden and was never in the picture before the seizure ) now she says she has no emotions towards me at all . She doesn't email, or call or basically communicate unless i do it first . She now finally admits she feels no emotion towards me what so ever ! All she does is study and nothing else . We were in a very good relationship indeed and looking at getting married once her studies were over ( she is 32 years old and changed careers to be a teacher instead of banking ) . So i guess i'm asking for help if this kind of reaction is normal after such a severe seizure and how can i try to help her ?? many thanks Jules

 

[deeds]

Dear Jules,
This may be very difficult to hear but you must NOT TAKE THIS PERSONALLY!
it is not about you at all. I have had seizures all my life and there is a very strong correlation between mood, depression and epilepsy. Imagine something that you had absolutely no control over? I am almost 53 and there are times when I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. Again, this isn't about you although I know it is a difficult thing to hear, especially from a total stranger. The after effects of a seizure can be very frustrating although Kim is lucky that hers are so infrequent. Also, I don't know if she takes medication or not but sometimes the side effects of the meds are problematic.
You sound like a great guy. If there is any more you might like to ask me, please feel free.....
Regards,
Deeds

 

[julesbda]

Deeds
Thanks for your kind words . I totally understand what you are saying and really appreciate your kind words . Kim has struggled with depression and was on effexor but was doing really well . Clearly stress played a major part in the seizure recently ( my father passed away , she moved to another country to study ) . She is somewhat obsessive compulsive so she is doing great at uni but is totally blocking out the rest of the world . Should i be worried about the meds she was on before the seizure for depression ?? would those possibly make her condition worse now ? also what can she do to try and lift herself up from where she is ?? exercise etc seems to be something people suggest ?? sorry just talking out loud but really appreciate your help ..

 

[epileric]

Hi Jules & welcome to CWE.

I was born with my seizures & I have always been an extremely emotional individual with feelings that were very easily hurt, even more-so after a seizure (drove my parents crazy).

If your partner has recently discovered she has seizures she may just need to be alone to focus on the "new her". I would imagine it's quite hard emotionally to get to know oneself again after discovering one has developed seizures, even more if she's obsessive compulsive.

 

[julesbda]

Thanks epileric .
This is all very new to me as a partner of someone who has suffered from a seizure so i'm just not sure what is normal after a seizure and what isn't and how i should proceed . it is tough being 4,000 miles away and feel very helpless . Can you add more colour around your last comment ? about obessive and seizures ? the weird thing is ...she is totally fixated on studying but i totally don't exist .

 

[epileric]

I would assume that change is a much bigger issue for people with any sort of obsessive compulsive disorder because of how important it is to the individual that things be a certain way.

Having epilepsy definitely changes how one functions. After a seizure during the post-ictal phase, things are forgotten and sometimes obvious things are overlooked. There is definitely a sense of loss of control (speaking from my own experience).

The postictal state is the altered state of consciousness that a person enters after experiencing a seizure. It usually lasts between 5 and 30 minutes, but sometimes longer in the case of larger or more severe seizures and is characterized by drowsiness, confusion, nausea, hypertension, headache or migraine and other disorienting symptoms. Additionally, emergence from this period is often accompanied by amnesia or other memory defects. It is during this period that the brain recovers from the trauma of the seizure.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postictal_state#Symptoms

Hope this helps.

 

[julesbda]

Thanks very much ......I guess i'm just looking for guidance on what i'm supposed to do now !!As deeds said earlier it isn't personal and that really helps . I'm just at a loss as to what i should now do 5 weeks later with Kim basically not interested in me what so ever ! ( is this kind of behavior normal ?? ) . no idea ..but looking for guidance .... i have learnt a lot in the past 24 hours and need to learn more . It really helps to understand the process and not feel i'm doing the wrong thing ! ( if that makes sense )