Anger, Stress, Frustration and more

[stringbean]

That is is all that seems to be hitting me on a daily basis for the last 3 weeks.
All the seizures
Trying to get a photo Id and my daughters ears piereced (posted already about this)
Getting Sick with 2 different viral infections
The Frustration and anger, because of having such a hard time getting someone a doctor to look at this rash of mine that could be life threatning.
And just in the last 5 days, its like I cannot, no matter how hard I try to get through ONE DAY without something causing such emotions to rampage.
Over the weekend, I couldn't get my husband to help me do anything, he does work two jobs, one is only 10 hours a week and the other in the last 6 weeks he has not been getting many hours at all. He still has his responsibilites at home. I can feel like such a slob at times due to my inability now due to several health problems inclucding my E, to be the neat freak I was before all these.
Monday I gave my husband a note to take to his boss, stating exactly what we needed put in it to get our rent lowered for Feb. (we live in Hud apt. so our rent is based on our income and it at this time is 497.00) He has to have a statement stating the place of employment how many hours and rate of pay, they will not accept pay stubs anymore, or the paper his boss sent home, which had his quartly week to week pay on it. It didn't even have his last pay on it which was only 103.00 which is 1/3 of a 40 hour week paycheck. and yesterday the notices were put in our door that recertification for rent will be in Feb. and now he absolutely has to have this statement and his boss will probably put 40 hours a week on it because that is how many hours he can get. Well Bullcrap would it hurt to put only 20 hours a week on there for now, since that has been his average in the last 6 weeks, except a couple of weeks. As soon as his hours go back up we are honest people and will have it recertified again.
We are already behind in the rent payment still owe half on Dec and all of Jan's. because of his low paychecks lately.
My computer keeps crashing and I get upset and cry, then when my hubby gets it reboted for me, then I get frustrated because of all the problems having with it when it is working.
I went to see my counselor on Tuesday and I was a mess, I shook, I cryed and she as always tells me I need to get my emotions under control, I know this however, it just cannot be that easy at times, so when I left I had my dad take me to pay our cable bill, then the worthless guy that works the place where we can pay it, says he cannot just take the acct # he has to have the whole bill, awful funny, they have accepted that before, so right after seeing my counselor and her trying to get be settled down off like a streak of lightning my temper went again.
Oh this is getting long, sorry, I could just go on and on.
I would like to add that there is some really good things this past week, my dad is home from PA to stay and he is very happy and so are all of us, and my little one is doing great in school, she is getting her times tests passed great.
thanks for reading,
Tammy

 

[skillefer]

Tammy, I know how you feel. Sometimes, it feels like everything hits at once, and you just want to look up to heaven and say, "Ok...what did I do to piss you off?" I got a lot going on right now too...but sometimes it's just good to vent.

 

[RobinN]

You are stronger than you think. Turn the negatives to positives if you can.

 

[Birdbomb]

You know everything may seem really crappy now, but keep in mind this will pass. Try not to waste energy fretting over situations you cannot change.

Make small goals for yourself, not a big old laundry list of things that need to be done.

Hang in there. Most problems will sort themselves out.

 

[Bernard]

That is is all that seems to be hitting me on a daily basis for the last 3 weeks.

It's the hap-happiest time of the year!

I hope the sun shines a bit brighter for you today.

 

[speber]

Hang in there Tammy......

....we're all rootin' for ya!
:woot:

Hey!....my daughter's goin' through the 'times' tests too!.....it's drivin' her crazy but she keeps surprising herself with good scores......

...it's all about self-confidence!
:rock:

 

[stringbean]

Thank you to all, for your replies.
This past week things seem to be settling down, most of them anyway, The breakthrouh seizures started again yesterday, this past week other than a migrane went good.
My daughter came home one day really exicted to show me that she had passed the 9's in the times and now she gets to read, or draw or color while the other students take the tests she is the 4th one out of class to do this, also her and one other student are the only ones that passed a major test on multipacation. I don't mean to brag so much, but she was held back in second grade the main reason was becuase she was having alot of trouble getting the math facts and other. She sure is doing great this year.

 

[Bernard]

:woot:

 

[Birdbomb]

Cool!

 

[stringbean]

okay, its back again I can't keep the tears from just falling bad this morning.
I am just so frustrated, angry, upset, you name it.
Sometimes I can feel just like such a pain in the Ass to the people I have to depend on to take me where I need to go. This E has really affected my independence, I can't drive anymore, to walk to places I need to go is to far,

My sister who usually takes me to the store on weekends, now in the past three weeks has acted like it such a major pain for her to have to do so. I even pay her 15.00 a month internet bill for her taking me to the store, and like last night when I asked her when she could take me to the store this weekend she said "oh I don't know sometime I quess" and she didn't sound to happy about doing so. My oldest daughter will take me when she can, however they have alot of bad luck with vehicles like we do and alot of times just has no way to do so.
My sister didn't even stop over this morning to check if my hubby's check needed cashed, he gets a ride to and from work and sometimes can't get his check cashed until saturday when the bank closes at noon. Well I can't go to the store this weekend anyway because without that check cashed I have 1 dollar and some change.
My youngest brother is in from PA, he got last night and hasn't even stopped over to see me yet, he stays at Tracy's and she lives 2 apts down from me. Everytime he is in, him, his girlfriend and my sis and bro in law go out for breakfast, and then usally like to Arden it is an area where my mother was raised and has alot of scerny that I haven't seen in a long time. Last time they went to Valley Falls another scenic area, and of course was I even asked to go. NO I WASN'T,
My sis gets invited to all kinds of different parties, like for example an avon party, now she went to a party where they play this game and you win prizes, she has said several times how much fun it is, it is not a party where they are trying to sell something it is just to have fun and you win stuff, well I told her I would like to go to one of them, she has been invited to another, and of course didn't invite me to go as a guest.
I have tryed three differnt times now to get my husbands boss to write a statement for us to have our rent recertified, we live in a low income apt. complex and what he has to have is a statement stating his name, his place of employment and how many hours a week he works at what rate of pay. He doesn't get the same amount of hours every week so it can say EX. between 20 to 45 hours a week. I have sent her an exact example of what it needs to say and she has sent home, a quartley pay list, isn't acceptable, then copy of pay stubs, not acceptable, and this last time a letter stating first week of dec pay and last week of dec pay, not acceptable either it is just like giving them 2 paystubs. And he tells me she won't write it the way I have sent her samples of 3 times because she thinks it is illegal.
Jeez, seems like she wants out in the street, because if we cannot get what we need for recertification we will be evicted, if we are effected from one HUD subsidized place we can never get into another one.
Oh my this is getting very long, I am in one of my ranting rage modes.
Thanks for listening.
Tammy

 

[RobinN]

Sorry to hear it is such a rough time for you Tammy.
Does exercise help you see life in a more positive manner? I know when I use to walk 5 mi on Sat morning with a friend to get the bagels for the week, it was the best way to start the weekend.

Perhaps we need to have an exercise chart here at CWE. We all would certainly be healthier for it. We could have a party for the ones that reach their goals. (I'm thinking outloud)

Just remember that just because family is family.. doesn't make them the kindest people on the planet. Good luck with all of your challenges.

 

[Bernard]

{{{Tammy}}}

 

[alivenwell]

I totally agree with RobinN. Exercise is the trick. It releases endorphins which make you feel better, gets rid of the adrenalin, and if you're doing it outside, you may be getting the vitamin D from the sun. Your gym is free. I always found it ironic to see somebody drive to a gym, and pay a couple hundred of dollars for that privilege, when a good long walk in fresh air would also do the trick.
With extremely cold weather, I'd suggest that you try to layer your clothing like wearing two long sleeve shirts at once, and finding at least one pair of thermal underwear and socks. Always wear a hat in cold weather since you lose more heat through your head. A good pair of mountain shoes would also be expensive, but very worth it. And always have a hooded jacket for rain. And, during warmer weather, if you are walking in a fielded area, wear socks over your long pants. That fights lyme disease. I have found some mountain clothing that allows you to convert long pants to shorts with a zipper at the knees. However, a good visit to a material/sewing store will give you all the supplies you need for that. I sew a lot of my own clothing and it's the exact style I want in the exact color that I want. And, I can make it again with left over material. I've recycled jeans by cutting out the inner leg area and hand sewing the rest of it like a skirt. I've made a really cool looking skirt with embroidered roses. I'm kind of short, so it's kind of difficult to find embroidery at the bottom of clothing without cutting it off to hem it.
As far as food goes, I know Amazon now offers food on line and it gets delivered right to your front door! If you order a few items that way, they go on record with exact same dollar amounts spent and you could potentially use a credit card. Without a job, you might have a difficult time getting a credit card. Maybe your sister or your husband could put their names on the card for you or somehow give you a gift certificate on line.
I personally get a lot of the Organic Valley milks that come in a case. They require no refrigeration and they're never wasted. At least at my house, it's a major competition to get milk. I'm lucky if I get any.
It sounds like your brother owes you big time! He should pay for it.

Anyway, would you REALLY want to go to AVON????!!! Those prizes are cheesy, cheap and hardly worth it. I've turned down a bunch of those 'free' parties because they just want to make a sale on something more expensive. My mom sold makeup when I was a kid and frankly, we used to play with her lipstick samples. I'd deliver makeup to her friends in our neighborhood. She had an incredible business, but I think makeup is unfair. Men don't wear it. It's expensive. And I refuse to color my hair. Again, it's just another double standard. That's no offense to men reading this, but it's true.

 

[brain]

(((((( Tammy )))))

 

[Crowind]

Sorry to hear your walk is a hard one, I have these hard times that come and go, some seem to make us stronger, some seem to beat us down. Ill pray for you and your people. hope it gets better. Crowinthewind.

 

[Birdbomb]

Here's a blue rose, just for you!

It WILL get better!

 

[Shelley]

vent

Sometimes venting can help. Sometimes writing, simply walking or just taking a hot bath, or curling up for no reason and taking a nap. Sometimes I go to a restaurant and have them serve me a meal. I get good nutrition from the veggies, Spoil myself by having someone else wait on me, and since I sit at the bar (no drinking) I watch tv. In other words, breaking the routine can help sometimes. I know I have been depressed a lot lately, but sometimes doing weird, and different things can help. Yes, I still have problems with lazy turdballs at works, who would rather play than work, and scoff at you for being different (after all, if your different, your not 'saved').

 

[stringbean]

Thank you all for the advice, encouragement and brain and birdbomb the huggs pic and the rose.
My sis told me Sunday morning I will take you to the store this afternoon, well I told her "I can't go until Monday because we didn't get Chuck's check cashed, she did offer to take me Monday evening, she ended up going for me because I had a migrane. I know I do overreact at times, my feelings especiall when I am in one of my very low depression modes.
My brother came over Saturday evening and I was pretty out of it, meds, the depression, the migrane and 2 seizures. He sat beside me rubbing my back for a while and then left. he came back over Sunday morning when I started to talk to him all I could do was cry and let out emotions of all that has been happening. He sat beside me with his arm around me and rubbed my knee, he listened and by the look on his face I knew that he really felt for me and was worried.
Saturday and Sunday all it seemed like I could do was cry, as hard as I tried to stop the tears just kept falling.
Monday morning, I seemed to feel a bit better and had good motivation to accomplish something and then bam a migrane and I ended up in bed most of the day and tears again.
Tuesday and Wed. sinus headaches but lucky the over the counter sinus med I take took them away, they don't always do so. I accomplished a good bit those two days and really felt like I was coming up out of the low depression mode.
Now, yesterday Thurs. bam another migrane, and I believe I had a migrane, tension and sinus headache all mixed together. My hysterectomy is scheduled for next Thursday and as of yesterday I cannot not take alot of different meds. Tynenol is all that is listed that I can take and it doesn't do a darn thing for migranes or sinus headaches. I called my ob's office had to leave a message and no call back. I needed to know if I could take my tynenol sinus med and my prescription migrane med. I cannot go a whole week suffering from migranes and sinus headaches without it being like I am literlly paralyzed.
Question, can't migranes, well actually any kind of uncontrolled pain trigger seizures? I sure don't need that either.
I just don't know what to do, my ob's office is closed today and I won't hear back from them or call them back until Monday.I
I'm almost sure if these headaches continue I will not be able to keep myself from taking one of my meds for them. I can only handle the pain for so long without it pushing me over the edge.
I can already this morning at 5 am that the sinus headache is on its way.
Again thanks for listening and all your replies.
Tammy

 

[stringbean]

The lady that does takes care of such from my ob's office did call yesterday and it is ok to take my tylnel sinus meds and migrane meds. Thank Goodness these headaches are really on a rampage with my head.
I also asked if I do have a sinus infection and I am on a antibiotic surgery day can the surgery be done, she said as far as she knew yes, but it would really be up to the antithesologist(SP). I am still having the bad sinus headaches and usually when they are everyday and it takes more than one dose of the over the counter med, it is an infection, will know monday when I see my reg doc.

 

[alivenwell]

Have you tried using the pressure points to fight the headaches? I know that if you firmly squeeze the top of you nose (right between the eyes), it can take away a headache. And, I think the temples are another pressure point as well as the areas immediately underneath your ears.