Angery

[Fedup]

I am sorry for any spelling mistakes I make,I have just had a seizure and I feel like sh-t, I nearly smothered myself today and I feel so bad, my wife woke me up to see I was alright and told me about trying to smother myself, I have been married a good few years now and I love my wife but today like the last time I got very angry and I think this is peobably the worst I have ever said to her,I know I should change my name and be upbeat and all, but after 40 years, I know longer know, the pain the tirdness,I ams so sore and I have pulled my back I think I have got to say sorry ny wife is crying with what I said and this depression has me done in I do not know if it is because of the mixture of drugs or the vimpat and normaly I would be able to tell with side affects and all, the doctors are a wast of time in Ireland, I wish I was some where ealse, it took me about half an hour to figure out how to post this and then I was lucky, I still do not know how I done it, I have got to get out of this, I better go and say sorry and ask her to ring work.I do not know what to do, things have been playing on my mind lately this is no good I give up its time to sleep

 

[MuayThaiFighter]

Well im always here to hear you out buddy. When I first starting posting on the forum I could barely write, i'm feeling a whole lot better and have been stable for awhile now. Though I do not know your exact pain, but it had meant so much to have your words of wisdom when I just lost it. This quote always stuck with me. When I did drills for Kickboxing my Kru/teacher told me this. "You gotta keep going, just keep going, keep telling yourself that you are going to reach the shore, you can't drown now, just keep going!" I remember pushing my body so much back then, feeling myself almost black out at times, but I never refused to give up. I would get so sick after but, I always knew that I mentally could make it to shore. So can you friend.

 

[Loopy Lou]

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. I really think you should talk to your docs though. Even if they are useless, you have tried. Or if you're in a position to change docs maybe you can do that.

I notice you said you were on vimpat... i was on that for a grand total of three months and then got pulled off it rather quickly as it caused insomnia, severe depression and suicidal thoughts in me. Is it a medication you have been on for a while?

I'm sure your wife will forgive you, we're here if you need to talk.

 

[julie wishes]

I'm so sorry, how awful this all sounds. And you sound like you are just sick of it all. I'm glad you recognize that your wife needed an apology. Very sweet of you. I think that writing this post at the moment you wrote it, is one of the bravest and most powerful things you could have done. You will never know how important it is to others suffering just like you to read your words and know they are not alone in this world. I'm so impressed you posted just after having a seizure. These words are priceless. I too believe as muay Thai.... you will make it. Thanks for being so brave.

 

[Dolores]

Please let us know how you and your wife are doing. My prayers are with you both.

If you're going through hell, keep going.

~ Winston Churchill

 

[SassySarah]

So sorry! Your spelling looks far better than mine before and after I have a seizure. This may sound bad but it is relieving. Considering I used to be a newspaper editor, my husband can tell by a text msg that something is seriously heading or already went downhill.

I can't count how many times I have gotten furious or broke down because this disorder sucks for me - but I hate seeing what it does to my family. Like you are saying it creates hard feelings between myself and my husband so often. It has caused my parents and siblings to back away because either my memory loss lead to me hurting them or they are scared of what a seizure is so they stay away. One sister and I don't speak anymore whatsoever because I guess I screwed something up I still don't remember. My kids go through phases of understanding and pure animosity. It's only been a year for me. I always pray it is going to get easier. Hang in there. This disorder isn't easy - it is hardest on those that love us the most.

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 2

 

[jonsey]

hi fedup

sounds like you have had one hell of a day . Hopefully all the well wishes and responses show you that we all care and to some point understand . Saying sorry and a cuddle is just enough , it is for me when things dont go to well here .

keep safe x

 

[Lynda1]

Hi fed up
I know how u feel about the doctors in Ireland, I have the pleasure of them myself in Beaumont, in Dublin.

 

[Fedup]

I have the pleasure of Tallagh.

 

[Lynda1]

Oh dear,

 

[Fedup]

Could not agree more, wonder what would happen if I took a wrong turn in there?