baaddd seizure day did something stupid

[vapour]

OK< so I think I did something stupid

First let me start out by sayingggggg i hate simple partial seizures, however (and this may sound strange) over time I have started to love having complex partial seizures.. You may ask why. Well...a warm fuzzy Euphoric feeling, feeling of spiritual enlightenment, laughing, seeing things around me in great detail..feeling like I am drawn into myself seeing myself at a deeper level..hypersexual feelings... and the list goes on.

This morning I was drinking coffee. I havel imited myself. However as I was on my 2nd cup I started to feel it come on. So, I continued to drink more...

I know for sure I had acomplex partial, the only thing is Im worried it went on for a long time...also..everything I was thinking.. I cannot remember..so that sucks. I know I was enlightened in a sense .. but I have no idea what about. its sort of a feeling like ... "i knew everything in the universe and was evertywhere" but now its been taken from me...

I ended up vomiting around lunch time, and since then been totally tired..laid in bed alot...feeling like my body is lacking in some sort of vitamin or mineral or electrolyte...(hard to explain)

Just wondered if anyone else has had experienced great pleasure during a complex partial seizure...or allowed one to come on via things like caffiene.

Kinda stupid...and since the vomiting I figured not worth it. However at the spare of the moment when I begin to feel it, its just a whoosh and so strong.

Not sure if this makes sense. but I feel like crap now, and paying the price.

 

[Endless]

Hi, Vapour,

A complex partial involves an alteration in awareness or conciousness. You probably wouldn't remember it.

An aura is a SP seizure. The feeling of euphoria or deep connection to god is probably a simple partial, which is why you remember it.

I used to get those euphoria/god feelings, too. Not so much any more. When I started on the seizure meds that was among the first of the types of seizures to dissapear for me.

I get tired after seizures, too. I usually sleep for a couple of hours.

Hey... wait a minute... you did this on purpose? You can really hurt yourself. It could progress into a more serious seizure. Over time seizures can make permanent changes in your brain, and make it harder to make the seizures stop with medication. Please don't hurt yourself any more, okay? Even if it feels good for a little while, in the long run it doesn't.

 

[Nakamova]

I can understand the temptation to experience the euphoria of your complex partials. But as you recognize, it comes at a price. It's a bit like the high you can experience from certain drugs. A person may feel like they're receiving an amazing insight, but at the same time they are putting themselves and others at risk, and damaging their brains in the process.

 

[Crystalblue]

It's interesting Vapour, the way you described those feelings reminded me very much of another illness. People who are bipolar can get "hypomanic". It usually happens right before they fall into full blown mania. Many people that have had it describe it very much like your seizure. They say it's one of the best feelings ever. Problem is, their meds make it go away. So then they stop their meds and end up spiraling into full blown mania, which is not fun.

I can see why you experimented a little with the seizure. Don't feel bad about it. I mean, you probably don't want to do it again, but certainly don't beat yourself up about it. Especially the way things have been so tough for you lately. Who could blame you for wanting to feel GOOD for a few minutes?

Well, here's hoping things start to look up for you. Then you can feel good without having a seizure. onder:

 

[epileric]

When I was younger all my seizures felt the way Vapour describes them. My parents called them "laughing spells" because I would always laugh (sort of) while hyperventilating & the feelings were similar to what you described.

As an adult I do have the odd seizure that has that euphoric feeling. The other night I kept getting these auras that felt so nice it was hard to remember to focus & not let the seizure progress.

I'm lucky enough not to vomit after a seizure but I"m pretty useless, might not be able to talk for a while & usually need a nap-badly.

 

[rangerwvu]

Vapor,
Ok, I will put out there at the front end of this that my complex partials have never had the pleasant pieces that you describe. What you describe actually sounds decent and I seriously can understand the natural desire to have that experience again (esp during or after some of my days at work! lol)...however, let me share some things that (hopefully) will spare you some future bad stuff? My thought is that yours may progress once you pass a certain point a bit further down the road and be much more negative...complex partials that really suck. Think about this: mine as well as a lot of other folks start with aura (s) then progresses to stronger ones that cause you to have to lay on the floor, ground, whereever as it is impossible to stand; unable to speak or see, but I can hear (the whole partial consciousness thing, others have different combos I think). Feels like I am falling even while laying down, going to vomit, and cannot control my body in terms of really being able to move and getting up is NOT an option and brain typically is 'fuzzy'). Course, folks around me are concerned as I can hear them, they think I am dying of a heart attack or something since I cannot respond to them (if they are unaware I have seizures) and afterwards, when I can get up or get some help to do that, I get up off the floor and to a bed, couch, etc...I have not vomited but typically feel like I will for some time afterwards and do need the nap that others mention. The only good thing is that I almost always get the auras that are not pleasant, but 'light' enough and a 'warning' that before the 'small' seizure turns into a bigger one, I can make sure I am in a safe place, not walking across a street, standing next to a cliff, etc before IT hits...LOL. After getting to a correct level of meds for me, I had auras or small seizures that would not frequently progress. Then, after being "big" seizure free for almost a year, I had a 'break through' tonic clonic seizure in March which I had never had before. Now, my auras (seizures) are more intense, last longer and much more awful when they show up. So, my thought is that they do progress potentially? And honestly, I have to acknowledge that this experience may be inidividual to my body and never happen to you or others? I am just concerned for you as I would not wish this on my worst enemy. Sorry so long,just concerned for you. Please be careful with this. All the best to you.