Being responsive in critical care

[valeriedl]

Yesterday my grandfather had a stroke (that's what the drs think it was) and was taken to the ER and had to put into critical care asap.

While I was talking to the nurse she said that he is breathing on his own, but not enough to keep him alive and if he was taken off the ventilator he would probably die. He also has several blood clots in his brain and they don't think that he'd be able to stay alive due to those either. He isn't responsive. He doesn't open his eyes or try to talk.

He was moving a good bit, mostly in his legs, while he was laying on the bed and she said that that is normal. However when I came in I held his hand and talked to him he gave me a very tight squeeze. He did this several times while I was there when I'd talk about different things that were funny or during things that were just between the two of us.

Could he have known what I was saying? The nurse said that there was a chance that he may have.

I know that he's probably going to pass away when he is taken off life support. The dr are going to give him about 3 days and he has a living will saying that he doesn't want to be kept on life support and live that way until he dies of old age.

I'd just like to know that we had a sort of conversation with each other before he went. Does anyone know if it's possible that it could have been what happened?

 

[Penny]

My Mom is in and out of consciousness right now from her cancer. She is in the last stages of terminal. Sleeps all day and doesn't talk except maybe a word once in a while. She can hear though. Hospice said so. Sunday my sister was cleaning out the wound around her neck (burst tumor) when she gave a little smile. My sister asked what she was thinking of. She slightly opened her eyes and said "Penny" then closed them. I bawled and bawled after hearing that but it has touched me so much that as she lay there helpless and almost lifeless, I was on her mind and she heard my sister asking her that. I have only seen her 4 times since the middle of March because I cant drive and she cant go that far of a trip (to uncomfortable). However we have talked almost daily. I am going to miss that but I am happy to know she was thinking of me as she was crossing over.
He will hear you and he knows. The hand movement shows that. It is probably to hard to open his eyes. Just be there to help him "cross over". It is a good feeling even during the pain.

 

[valeriedl]

The dr said that any of the motions that he has been doing he probably doesn't know that he is doing. It's just jerks that happen at times when someone is in a coma. I still don't know about him squeezing my hand because it seemed like it only happened at certain times when we were talking about things. I'm going to let myself think he sort of knew what was going on, it makes me feel better in general.

We are going to be taking my grandfather off of life support tomorrow. The only thing that is keeping him alive right now is the ventilators to help him breathe plus he as an ammonia. The dr said that here is no chance that he will come back from this. My grandfather has a living will that says he doesn't want to be like this so he will pass away shortly after everything is taken off of him.

 

[CathyAnn31]

Valerie, I am so sorry.

***hugs***.

 

[Bernard]

It's possible, but unprovable. Bottom line though, you have done what is was possible for you to do. Be at peace. Love transcends.

 

[Bidwell]

Valerie, I really do believe that you and he were in communication. Val. I am so sorry. You are in my prayers.

 

[wants2know]

My mom was a nurse and did hospice care for many years. She strongly believed that hearing was the last sense to leave us at death, and she would become upset at family members who spoke of upsetting topics in that time of unconsciousness prior to death. She would tell you to feel assured that he knows you are there.

 

[valeriedl]

Every time I've gone to see my grandpap I always hold his hand the whole time I'm there and we do talk about happy things. My mom and I talk about things that I know would make him laugh or smile.

We will be taking him off of life support tomorrow afternoon. I'm hoping he'll go peacefully after that.

Thanks everyone.

 

[Penny]

Valerie,
As you know my Mom just passed Wednesday afternoon. She had been on hospice 7 days a week the last 1 1/2 weeks and 24/7 care. The last couple days she barely responded to people but my sisters and brother ( I couldn't get there because I cant drive) would talk about happy things from the past, going to heaven, seeing Dad again, etc.. and once in a while she had a slight smile and a little grip of the hand. According to hospice they can hear even while in a coma. I believe this too as I remember going through this with my Dad in the hospital. We took him off life support too as that was his wishes. He had all 8 of us in the room when he passed. We held hands touched his arm, leg I believe he went comfortable.
I will be praying for you, your Mom and Grandpap today!

 

[valeriedl]

Thanks a lot everyone. They took my grandpap off of life support this afternoon and hasn't passed away yet. He's in hospice right now and breathing on his own.

The family hopes he passes away soon because he's basically laying in bed dead (I hope that didn't come out as rude). He just looks like he's sleeping. He's completely unresponsive to anything. I don't know if he's in any pain but they said that they are giving him medicine for it incase he is.

Everyone except my a-hole aunt that is. She lives about a half a mile away and visits about 4 times a year. She kept telling him that he needs to keep breathing and hang in there. She was telling him this in between sending text messages!!!!! She'd spent so much time texting that she had to plug her phone in to charge it when he was put in hospice. It took every bone in my body not to go and punch her!

 

[Dolores]

Valerie, You and your grandpap are in my thoughts and prayers {{{Hugs}}} Dolores