Can't sleep??? (Overactive brain)

[MrE]

Okay I know some of you out there are bipolar...meanwhile some of you are not...not dismissing the fact that this "condition" is not the primary cause and/or source of said symptom...allow me to reiterate...while all of us may have a seizure disorder of some kind we may also have a mood disorder as well...but that's not surprising and should be expected as "E" in itself symbolizes spontaneous electrical discharge...if one could imagine a poor conductor of energy allowing the un channeled force to exert itself freely and uncontrollably in all directions...then we may ascertain as to why the symptom of an overactive brain could lead to an onslaught of sleep deprivation and secondary conditions...

Sometimes this isn't always the case as I myself don't always experience sleep deprivation and/or a heightened sense of awareness...in other words...a "light bulb" that just won't turn off...not to mitigate such an experience as threatening to an everyday lifestyle one would first analyze and learn not to diminish without hesitation...but to use to an advantage...

This is what I would like to refer to as "creative processing" or " conducive channeling"...a table is set but everything is out of order and you have the impulsive need to set things right...in this case...the natural desire to feel more in control of your life...sometimes using what we know only seems to add more obstacles thus frustration...so instead we reassess the situation and apply the basic fundamentals of open mindedness and allow any information to be converted and absorbed into the network of scattered neurons...

You can't stop thinking about who, what, why, when, where, how...etc....the chaos rages on...the thoughts...the feelings...the dreams...the desires...the ideas...the impulses...you are in the eye of the storm...until you say to yourself "stop"...then everything just dissolves away like a mist...and you embrace the calm peaceful sensation for as long as you can...yet apparently as the word "stop" exists so does "go" and it's only a matter of time before the insanity ensues...so where does it all really "stop"??? Or maybe we aren't saying the right word here...actually STOP and think to yourself for a minute and say "hmmm"...this doesn't seem right...what am I doing wrong??? Why this why that...it all seems futile...like a torrential downpour of rhetorical wrath...but I believe that life is testing us...no more than that person or you or the other person...but the question infinitely remains...?

We strive to learn more about ourselves in any manner possible...but I feel that the most we learn is when realize we limit ourselves when we think we are missing something...this can be interpreted subjectively depending on the persons perception...however more so it is simply an illusion...a destructive thought process that never seems to end but only begin over and over and over again...this is called "cyclic conditioning"...we all suffer from it without realizing it...it's called life...and there is no "cure" for this "condition"...only acceptance and upon that acceptance do we continuously reawaken to a heightened sense of awareness and overcome the obstacles we subconsciously believe we are trapped in...there is no war to win...no machine to fix...no disease to cure...there is only surrendering everything you ever thought you knew to be true to something that indefinitely and ultimately believes in you...



What does all this have to do with "E" you ask? That's up to you to decide... onder:

 

[Janus]

well said, Mr.E

 

[daviscy60]

Agree with Janus. A really good analogy and example of my week this week.

 

[Cint]

I am one of those with E AND a mood disorder. I was seeing a neuropsychiatrist for years who treated folks with Epilepsy and depression/ Bipolar disorders. This was his specialty as Epilepsy and Mood disorders are very common. They are both BRAIN disorders. My problem has never been not being able to sleep, but not wanting to wake sometimes. And sometimes I would be in a great mood for a day or two--feeling like I could conquer the world, then I would fall into a deep, deep depression, a deep dark hole. This is called 'rapid cycling' in the bi-polar- world. And IMO, it seems to go on in epilepsy as I'm one of those with refractory seizures, too.
Too many seizures and no answers................

A condition that there seems to be no end to...... an ongoing condition that no one understands unless they've been here. Over the last 30 years after experiencing many CPs and TCs and brain surgery + many visits to the hospital and docs, I've accepted my condition(s). But, have others accepted me for me? Seizures and all? Not when they find out the whole truth.

 

[MrE]

Words...

How they can be so easily taken out of context or blown out of proportion..."disorder"..."diagnosis"..."disturbed"...

Diagnosis: El Pollo :loco:

As a compartmentalized sheeple society decides to view us as "damaged", "diseased", and "deranged" we simply are unaccepted, misunderstood, and my personal favorite POSSESSED BY DEMONS!!! :roflmao:

I'm sorry but you can take your labels, judgments, and branding iron and stick it where the sun don't shine!

"But we don't want to label you, judge you, and finally brand you...we simply want to help you"...well guess what...you can "help me" when you learn to stop lying to yourself...the system is corrupt we all know that...people are treated like slabs of meat...they're processed then forgotten...just another "mental patient"...just another "form to fill out"....just another "day in a dark meaningless existence"...

I think not...I will fight for what I believe in...and I believe that my "diagnosis" is MY LIFE

"We are not miracle workers...we only take what you tell us and tell it back to you differently"...in other words...you're talking to yourself while looking in a fun house mirror...either that or you're throwing a bouncy ball at the wall with your head...or both...whatever it takes I guess huh? Medication supreme...

as you can probably tell I'm feeling a little agitated right now and my perception of reality may be distorted...but what's new...what I seem to feel/think may be interpreted as convoluted by what does anyone really mean...really???

 

[Janus]

Brilliant Mr.E !!!!!!!! Thanks again for eloquent descriptions of the state of today's world.
Couldn't agree more.

 

[C0urt]

i have to get up early to get a letter that states the difference between psychogenic seizures, and schizophrenia from a doc. for a program to continue. I dont expect everyone to know everything, but god damn, learn your latin if you have a med related job

 

[MrE]

Brilliant Mr.E !!!!!!!! Thanks again for eloquent descriptions of the state of today's world.
Couldn't agree more.

I sometimes wonder what I am really experiencing...I mean really deep down at the core...is it just a brief moment of imagined reality only to continuously morph into something else? Imagine a blank world where you paint the picture...the picture you see in your mind is that real or imagined? If it is real then does that mean that it already exists somewhere else besides your mind?

Here's a funny question...your brain is inside your head but where is your mind? If the picture is imagined...wait a minute...does that make it really imagined or an imagined reality...OMG...my head hurts now and I feel like I'm on a boat with motion sickness...

Alright...slow down...let's try to stay within a sane and rational mindset here...back to my first and original statement of when my mood fluctuates spontaneously without warning...am I having a seizure??? I feel so lost in what I am experiencing...like some sort of hypnotic tunnel vision...although I am aware of certain triggers I am also aware of having a sense of control and ability to steer the seemingly lost ghost ship in the right direction...but which direction am I really moving in...does it really matter? Perhaps the right direction is the one where the ship moves you...

Analogies...yes they are fun indeed but really just a holographic representation of a symbiotic relationship...

 

[MrE]

i have to get up early to get a letter that states the difference between psychogenic seizures, and schizophrenia from a doc. for a program to continue. I dont expect everyone to know everything, but god damn, learn your latin if you have a med related job

:agree: