Coping w/o Seizures

[Eyes_herself]

I haven't been back here much because from Dec. my seizures have fizzled off and I'm medically controlled now...and I kind of feel guilty coming here with this question.

Just as I had trouble transitioning into life w/ seizures I'm having a hard time coping w/o them as time goes on. Now that I'm out of the fogginess I've lost my boyfriend (who became used to me depending on him...the transition to my independence took a toll on our 3.5 year relationship), I lost touch with all of my friends and I feel more lonely because I realize this more now than before, & I'm stuck at a community college because my credits won't transfer well to one that is away (tho it's probably too late/expensive anyway).

I just feel like I have lost years out of my life. I don't know how to start back up again to a "normal" lifestyle for a 20 year old. It seemed like with seizures I knew my limits, I followed and tested those. I don't have those limitations anymore and I'm so lost. Has anyone dealt with this?

As I said I feel guilty w/ this question because I'm blessed to have found some peace...but I really don't know how to move on and cope with it all. Moving forward I guess is always the hardest part.

Thank you. Jackie.

 

[Bernard]

Hi Jackie, no need to feel guilty. CWE is here whenever you need it.

You are only 20. There are people twice your age who are still asking themsleves the exact same questions (and they never had a seizure condition to overcome either).

Follow your passion. :twocents:

 

[occb]

I've never had a seizure disorder, but I kind of went through something similar when I quit drinking (by no means the same, just somewhat similar). So many aspects of my life changed -- I became more independent myself; I lost many friends because they preferred the dysfunctional me; I became very isolated, because the friends I still had liked to drink and I stayed away from bars; I had to decide what to do with my life, which is still an ongoing quest :lol: All I know is that there is no such thing as "normal" and life is anything but predictable.

Do they offer counselling services at your college? I know that counselling has helped me during tough life transitions in the past. An outside perspective of your life can often bring things better into focus -- it makes you more aware of the choices available to you, and how you feel about them.

 

[epileric]

Congratulations on being seizure free for so long. That is great.

I've got to say that I've lost many friends once they find out I have E. I always see it in terms of me being better off without them because a relationship with someone that is that judgmental towards anyone with a medical condition would not be a healthy relationship.

I see your situation as similar in that if someone can't be your friend without you always needing their help then it probably isn't the healthiest friendship. It sounds like you'd be much better off making friends that can accept the new you and your independence.

Despite feeling that you've lost years of your life I see it as a new chapter and you are lucky to start this chapter at such a young age. I was never one of the crowd growing up but I've found I have a much better understanding of myself & who I am than most people because my identity was not based on who I hung out with. College is (or should be) a time when you discover more about yourself & I'm sure there are many other students that you'll have much more in common with.

Best of Luck in your New Life Chapter

 

[McGill]

Eyes Herself, I know what you mean and greetings!! This an extremely difficult transition period for a young lady like yourself. As I've asked others, I ask the same thing of you: what are your strengths and what are your weaknesses? Please take some time to sit down and take an inventory of these characteristics; but don't be too hard on yourself!

When you know what you want to do, then pursue the line of studies you want to. That you're coming back to college or community college a bit older than the first-years students should be an indicator that you'll be more focused on what you want to do.

As for your friends, "true friends" won't abandon you; "fair weather" friends will. Please learn to find several people who share similar interests as you, but by all means, please don't stay in the house all the time. If you get involved in some charities or invooved insome volunteer work, these are avenues for you to connect with other people and make new friends. If they are afraid of your seizures, please gently explain to them what to do. It appears as if your former friends are awkward and fearful about what to do when you had seizures. Your ex seems to have dependency issues or control issues whereby you were the only person whom I ciould help or possibly control. That was an unhealthy situation.

 

[Belinda5000]

Jackie,

I was just talking to my husband who's been seizures free since his surgery in 1972.He said it took him several years to be able realize his seizures were gone.
He didn't get a lic till he went 7 yrs seizure free.
He's my best supporter and if I could trade places with you I would.
I've had seizures 45 years.

Belinda:twocents:

 

[McGill]

Jackie, not to outdo anyone, I've had seizures for nearly 60 yrs. and there are others on the site who have had them longer than me! We're "wailing walls" for one another when needed!

 

[foreverdark]

Congrats!!

I don't think I understand! Why would you feel guilty? I haven't been here long but I can say that the people here aren't that shallow

This actually sounds quite common with ANY condition/experience. Alcoholics, drug users, released prisoners. Adjustment to "life" can be scary and difficult. I agree with the counseling idea, it could prove very useful :rock:

 

[Crystal11]

It does seem like it would be a little difficult to adjust to no longer having seizures. Even though your seizures are controlled, you still have Epilepsy. We don't want to see you go from CWE.

I feel that its hard on me when I don't have seizures for a long time. Long time for me is one month. I've had seizures since age 6 and as I got older, they became worse from Absence to Complex Partials. I tend to get moody if I don't have a seizure in a few weeks. But then I would rather not have any. I take two medications to help it- but I will never be seizure-free according to my neurologist since I've had seizures for so long. I've had seizures for 20 years now (Im 26) and don't really understand what its like to not have seizures for over a month's time.
I guess it would be like me having my vision or hearing back like when I was little.

Its definatley an adjustment process- I hope things work out better for you in that aspect of Epilepsy. My friend Rachel went 9 years seizure free and it upset her when her seizures became worse again.
I am happy that you're doing so well. Please take care.

Crystal