Well, before I start with my problems, I guess I should introduce myself. My name's Phil, and I'm 19 years old. When I was about four, I began suffering from complex partial seizures; EEGs showed that my left temporal lobe was the cause. My neurologist prescribed a low dose of Tegretol, the seizures stopped, and I went off the medicine a couple of years later.
I started exhibiting some minor behavioral problems in elementary school. All my grades were fine, but I was somewhat insubordinate. In sixth grade, I began experiencing panic attacks. To be sure I wasn't having seizures, I got an EEG; the results were abnormal. The doctors said I probably wasn't having seizures, so I saw a psychiatrist and began taking Paxil. The panic attacks stopped, and I went off the Paxil about a year later. Now, looking back on that whole ordeal, it's strange that the panic attacks included olfactory hallucinations.
After I stopped taking Paxil, I noticed something strange. It just hit me one day. I never felt happy anymore. I thought about it some more, and I realized that I didn't feel any emotion at all. When I was younger, I had numerous hobbies, played outside with friends all the time, and was often in a good mood. By the time I was about 13, I had lost interest in nearly every hobby, I stopped going outside, and as my friends gradually moved away, I didn't find many new ones. I figured that I had to be suffering from depression, so I returned to my psychiatrist and tried a number of SSRIs. None of them helped, so I assumed that high school would be fun and I would start to feel better.
Yes, I know that was a truly naive assumption. Things remained the same. When I was in tenth grade, girls started asking me out. I figured dating would make me feel better, and my parents encouraged it. At the time, however, I was quite sure that I was "late." I really had no interest in dating, but I decided to try it anyway after a girl asked me to the Homecoming dance. I dated for months, and I didn't like it. I kept telling myself that I was bound to hit puberty some time. I tolerated the kissing, but as soon as she wanted to do more than that, I broke up with her. I should have done that much sooner.
Later in high school, I had another EEG so I could legally drive. The results were, of course, abnormal. "This is an abnormal EEG by virtue of left temporal sharp forms, phase reversing at T5. This does not make the diagnosis of epilepsy; however, if a clinical seizure disorder is suspected this may suggest focal onset." My neurologist was nonchalant and said that as long as I wasn't having seizures, he had done his job.
I'm currently in my second year of college, and I thought it would be fun. I'm still just as naive, I suppose. I haven't taken my education seriously at all; I just don't care. I haven't even declared a major yet. Last semester, I didn't buy the textbooks for half of my classes. My GPA is still near-perfect, however, and people often compliment me for being such a "good" student. I work as a math tutor, and my parents aren't concerned about me at all.
I'm really worried at this point. I've felt no emotion since I was about twelve years old. I don't care about anything. I take nothing seriously, I've forgotten about all my hobbies, and I haven't socialized with any new people. I know for a fact that I have actually hit puberty at this point, and I still have absolutely no interest in dating or sex. Nothing feels good, and my entire time at college has felt more like I'm watching it than participating in it. I spend every hour of every day completely bored, and I'm afraid it's eventually going to drive me insane.
I'm not going to wait any longer. It's not going away, and my neurologist and psychiatrist are both useless. I started looking online for a disorder with symptoms close to mine, and schizoid personality disorder was an exact match. Then, at the bottom of the list of symptoms I was reading, it mentioned that people with these symptoms should be sure that it's not being caused by temporal lobe epilepsy, since it has similar effects. None of my doctors ever told me this. I got a blood test and all of my hormone levels appear to be normal. I decided to schedule an appointment with a new doctor who is both a neurologist and a psychiatrist, but the earliest appointment was March.
Have you seen or experienced similar symptoms before? Is it likely that my abnormal temporal lobe is causing all of this? I looked at various medicines online, and the anticonvulsant lamotrigine looks promising, since it has relatively few side-effects and is known to stabilize moods. If anyone here has gone though something similar and can offer advice, I would really appreciate it.
Thanks for reading all that...
I started exhibiting some minor behavioral problems in elementary school. All my grades were fine, but I was somewhat insubordinate. In sixth grade, I began experiencing panic attacks. To be sure I wasn't having seizures, I got an EEG; the results were abnormal. The doctors said I probably wasn't having seizures, so I saw a psychiatrist and began taking Paxil. The panic attacks stopped, and I went off the Paxil about a year later. Now, looking back on that whole ordeal, it's strange that the panic attacks included olfactory hallucinations.
After I stopped taking Paxil, I noticed something strange. It just hit me one day. I never felt happy anymore. I thought about it some more, and I realized that I didn't feel any emotion at all. When I was younger, I had numerous hobbies, played outside with friends all the time, and was often in a good mood. By the time I was about 13, I had lost interest in nearly every hobby, I stopped going outside, and as my friends gradually moved away, I didn't find many new ones. I figured that I had to be suffering from depression, so I returned to my psychiatrist and tried a number of SSRIs. None of them helped, so I assumed that high school would be fun and I would start to feel better.
Yes, I know that was a truly naive assumption. Things remained the same. When I was in tenth grade, girls started asking me out. I figured dating would make me feel better, and my parents encouraged it. At the time, however, I was quite sure that I was "late." I really had no interest in dating, but I decided to try it anyway after a girl asked me to the Homecoming dance. I dated for months, and I didn't like it. I kept telling myself that I was bound to hit puberty some time. I tolerated the kissing, but as soon as she wanted to do more than that, I broke up with her. I should have done that much sooner.
Later in high school, I had another EEG so I could legally drive. The results were, of course, abnormal. "This is an abnormal EEG by virtue of left temporal sharp forms, phase reversing at T5. This does not make the diagnosis of epilepsy; however, if a clinical seizure disorder is suspected this may suggest focal onset." My neurologist was nonchalant and said that as long as I wasn't having seizures, he had done his job.
I'm currently in my second year of college, and I thought it would be fun. I'm still just as naive, I suppose. I haven't taken my education seriously at all; I just don't care. I haven't even declared a major yet. Last semester, I didn't buy the textbooks for half of my classes. My GPA is still near-perfect, however, and people often compliment me for being such a "good" student. I work as a math tutor, and my parents aren't concerned about me at all.
I'm really worried at this point. I've felt no emotion since I was about twelve years old. I don't care about anything. I take nothing seriously, I've forgotten about all my hobbies, and I haven't socialized with any new people. I know for a fact that I have actually hit puberty at this point, and I still have absolutely no interest in dating or sex. Nothing feels good, and my entire time at college has felt more like I'm watching it than participating in it. I spend every hour of every day completely bored, and I'm afraid it's eventually going to drive me insane.
I'm not going to wait any longer. It's not going away, and my neurologist and psychiatrist are both useless. I started looking online for a disorder with symptoms close to mine, and schizoid personality disorder was an exact match. Then, at the bottom of the list of symptoms I was reading, it mentioned that people with these symptoms should be sure that it's not being caused by temporal lobe epilepsy, since it has similar effects. None of my doctors ever told me this. I got a blood test and all of my hormone levels appear to be normal. I decided to schedule an appointment with a new doctor who is both a neurologist and a psychiatrist, but the earliest appointment was March.
Have you seen or experienced similar symptoms before? Is it likely that my abnormal temporal lobe is causing all of this? I looked at various medicines online, and the anticonvulsant lamotrigine looks promising, since it has relatively few side-effects and is known to stabilize moods. If anyone here has gone though something similar and can offer advice, I would really appreciate it.
Thanks for reading all that...