Dating, or lack thereof.

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finalpoet

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Alright I'm the 25 year old young man who had brain surgery, the brain surgery caused the left side of my face to be paralyzed. Although I'm mostly stuck at home I'm still searching for a girl to date, or a date. I'm using dating sites and what not. Question is is the paralysis of one side of my face, much like a stroke victim, holding me back? Is that why women aren't interested? Am I overthinking this? If it is, any ideas on how to overcome this obstacle? Female ideas would be greatly appreciated.
 
Hi finalpoet,

I can remember when I was your age and not getting many dates but I learned to be open with the guy from the beginning and told him about my epilepsy and how I couldn't drive and by doing this I found out if the guy really wanted to go out with me or not.
I have a cousin who was paralyzed from the neck down from a drunk driver but he ended up meeting a girl and getting married so don't give up. I always looked at it this way, it doesn't matter what the person looks like it's the kind of heart they have that really counts. Don't be afraid to ask a girl out. I wish you the best of luck and May God Bless You!

Sue
 
Thank you Sue. I've always been one to think that honesty and being straight forward is best. I would agree that the size of their heart matters most, again thanks and take care.
 
When I was dating I didn't care about what a guy looked like I cared about what he acted like. He could have had half a body but as long as he was a great guy then I'd have dated him! If a woman wants you for just your looks then she probably isn't going to be a good woman for anyone to date, she's more interested in herself than she is anyone else!

I first met my husband when I was 27, a year after I was diagnosed with epilepsy, and I'm 42 now. I let him know right from the start that I had epilepsy, couldn't drive, didn't work, didn't want children and at that time was having seizures left and right. He was fine with all this. We went a few dates for two weeks and then I had my first seizure in front of him. It scared the crap out of him! My parents had told him that if I ever had a seizure and didn't come out of it within 5 min then call him. Well after 5 min I still wasn't out of the seizure my mom came over to his house and we went to the ER. When they took me back my mom started crying because she thought for sure he wasn't going to want to date me any more but he told her I was great and he wasn't going anywhere.

Believe it or not we laugh about that first seizure I had. When we were leaving his house and going to my mom's truck I kept saying "Truck, truck, truck" over and over again like a little kid. All of a sudden, plain as day, I asked him a question then just started repeating truck all over again. He had no clue what was going on! He started going to my neuro appts with me a few months later because he wanted to learn more about epilepsy and understand things better and how to help. He's still here 14 years, and I don't know how many seizures later.

It still scares him when I have a seizure, mainly because he's afraid that there's going to be a seizure that I'm going to have that I don't come out of. I've asked him several times why he does it? All the seizures I have, how many times I've seriously hurt myself during them, all the hospital and ER visits and I don't know what else. He said it's because he loves me, that's why.

Even before I had epilepsy I had trouble finding a guy. It was mainly because they'd hide things from me or lie to me. This might have been only a few months or even years into the relationship. None of these things were medical related but who they were or what they did. I could tell you stories.....

Just be yourself and open around women and be good to them. That's what they are interested in. Hope this helps.
 
It's hard getting dates even without epilepsy getting in the way. It takes time. Also, you may not meet the right person on the first try. It all depends. Good luck!
 
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