Diagnosed with DID, I suspect I may have TLE too

[Steven]

DID I'd disassociate state I guess you are saying. I have read a lot on the topic. Call it what it is TLE anxiety or whatever. My point is this. Clonazapam (KLONOPIN) works quickly, it is a cousin of Valium , or lorazapam However, Klonopin has anti seizure qualities in it. Any Dr.in my mind would have no problem prescribing 1.5 mg 3 x a day of Klonopin to see if symptoms go away . This is reasonable for any doctor .
You may find this will rid you of depersonalization and hell. ASK ,AND I HOPE THIS HELPS YOUR PROBLEM
It does work and is the drug of choice for . Please be vigilant, it is no skin off your DOC,'s rear to give you 30 tabs .If you can rid it , I would be so so happy for you

Steven

 

[Ruth]

I was put on clonazepam about 30 years ago. I am addicted to it. 3 neurologists tried to get me off of it. Each time I went into status. They decided to keep me on it.

Ask your doctor about it. Ativan and Lorazepam are not addictive. They work great. That is what they use in ER room for seizures.

 

[Steven]

Aivan Lorazapam addictive Same drug

Yes, any drug can be addictive. However Lorazapam and Ativan are both the same drug and are cousins of Clonazapam. Some work differently De-realization is the most horrible symptom of Complex partial seizures as one cannot control your own brain or thoughts, if you can imagine. Trauma from PTSD from service people and others suffer from this horrible symptomology
It is so so scary. I am very concerned about people who have dissociative states that they are being treated for Schizophrenia and or being misdiagnosed for TLE. I am quite certain, people are in mental institutions with TLE or complex seizures and I am going to get them out in my retirement. It is not uncommon for complex partial seizure patients to display schizoidal type symptoms of some type. I would not care if Clonazapam was addictive if it cured the problem like insulin to a diabetic

 

[Ruth]

I have Temporal Lobe Epilepsy. There are a lot of people in our forum who also have it. They are not in institutions that I no of.

 

[nichii]

I used to take Clonazepam. I stopped taking it after a few weeks because it made me suicidal and I was having panic attacks. I was only on it for a short time, but I had the absolute worst withdrawal from it. The anxiety was unbearable and death seemed like a great option. I was put back on it and my psychiatrist slowly took me off it. Clonazepam is very effective and can help some people, but it's not for me.

What helps me the most is Zembrin, L-Theanine, and Lithium. Zembrin improves my mood and anxiety, L-Theanine calms my mind and stops my anxiety and stress when I'm feeling overwhelmed, and Lithium keeps my mood stable. Daily meditation is also very helpful and I believe it's the reason I rarely dissociate anymore.

 

[Bidwell]

nichii, For the last few weeks I have been in a big uproar and if I had not been meditating twice a day I would not be passing as sane. Meditating is the great stabilizer in my life even though [as I have mentioned recently on another CWE thread] some of the time it is not so comfortable or relaxing. When I forget to meditate, I don't sleep and when I don't sleep, everything gets worse!

 

[nichii]

nichii, For the last few weeks I have been in a big uproar and if I had not been meditating twice a day I would not be passing as sane. Meditating is the great stabilizer in my life even though [as I have mentioned recently on another CWE thread] some of the time it is not so comfortable or relaxing. When I forget to meditate, I don't sleep and when I don't sleep, everything gets worse!

I agree, meditation is excellent for keeping my mental health stable and my mood under control. I read somewhere that Buddhists have a different brain structure than someone who doesn't meditate regularly. They react to things more quickly than someone who doesn't meditate, but they also are able to calm down very quickly after they react to something.

I like to think of meditating as exercising. It's important to exercise your body and stay in shape, but it's also equally as important to exercise your brain using meditation. I meditate for 20 minutes in the early afternoon and then again for 10 minutes at night. It's helped me in several ways and situations that would have once had an intense emotional effect on me, don't affect me as strongly now.

My only complaint is that it can be pretty uncomfortable due to my back and neck pain. Sitting in the same position for 20 minutes straight is difficult, but I imagine that I could do it for at least an hour if my back and neck didn't hurt.

 

[Bidwell]

Nichii, I was raised a Quaker. We meditated before meals and at least two times a week in church for an hour or more at a time. We sat on benches or chairs. The reason I am bringing this up is because it became a casual part of life even when I left the religion behind. I know no neuroscientist would find my brain in as good shape as those clear headed Bhuddhist monks. However, I am wondering if perhaps you could modify your position for the sake of comfort without loss of benefits.Most of the time I sit in a straight chair, palms up on my thighs. But some days I put my feet on a stool and some days I even stretch my legs out on another chair. I sometimes find that I feel worse after I meditate, but I still sleep better!

 

[MichaelJO7]

I have recently read how meditation changes brain chemistry in the region of the brain known as Amygdala, the part of the brain that helps control emotions, and helps to keep a check on the stress response. These same changes can be facilitated through effective talk therapy, or simply having a good spiritually sensitive friend. A burden shared halves the the burden. A joy shared multiplies the joy. It should go without saying that positive changes in the brain then lead to better overall health in the body. Meditation is one a way to prevent methylation in the brain, and al least managing what we have direct control over.

Meditation unfortunately does not solve the root problems that cause us stress, which many times are wrong belief systems, the irrational behavior of others, or ourselves, etc. I think it is a good escape. I do see so many of us overreact to things, many times because we misinterpret things or we think people are saying things they are not saying. I have caught myself doing that on this forum, and I am glad when I catch myself. The truth can be a sharp sword, and will offend due to its very nature, but its ultimate goal is peace. We have to take a long term view of reality to really see it and understand it, which I think is also the key to finding it.

I like being "centered" and having control of my own spirit, focusing its energy on problem solving, while shutting out much of the noise of life.

 

[Bidwell]

This starts out as beautifully stated but you lost me in the second paragraph. It is because I do not agree that meditation is a good escape. I do not see how anyone can deal with root problems with their very best intelligence and their deepest heart when they are in a state of dis-control and stress, which makes mincemeat of intelligence!

 

[nichii]

I do not see how anyone can deal with root problems with their very best intelligence and their deepest heart when they are in a state of dis-control and stress, which makes mincemeat of intelligence!

Mindfulness can help with this. Stopping what you're doing to be mindful of your thoughts and recognizing how you're feeling can help reduce future stress and negative emotions. Cognitive behavioral therapy is also very useful and you don't need a therapist to practice it.

I'm studying it using a book called Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. The idea is that many unpleasant feelings like depression, anger, stress, and procrastination are the result of our thinking. Often times we can't see anything wrong with our thinking, so it's not always obvious when our thoughts are distorted.

It's interesting because I used to consider myself pretty stable and aware of myself, but when I started reading this book, I realized that I don't know myself as well as I thought. I didn't consider myself depressed before, but when I took the Burns depression checklist (included in the book), I scored 30 something out of 100 which means I have moderate depression. It's amazing that I was depressed and I didn't even realize it.

 

[MichaelJO7]

Bidwell,

I guess the word escape was not the best word. My "escape" is elusive, nevertheless it is something to press towards, insofar as I am able. As long as I live, there will be stress. My idea of meditation is more of an attempt to release things so they don't consume me, or at least to quiet my inner self, to be able to catch my breath during life, even though I know it is temporary. I have countless struggles, so I feel like I am continually treading water, but never able to get to land. When the tide is right, there are times I can feel my feet touch the bottom though. I just don't want to drown in an ocean of stress, even though many times I do. I hope that makes more sense. More relief is a constant goal of mine.

 

[Bidwell]

And AMEN.

 

[MichaelJO7]

Nichii,

I just returned a book to the library in which the author attributed significant positive changes in her (physical) health due to mindfulness meditation. Part of one of my posts was somewhat of a response to what the author wrote, addressing how it only takes you so far, not addressing the root problems. It is approaching the target, and that is progress, so I want to encourage that part of it.

 

[Bidwell]

Oh. I see what you are saying. I was just rereading your first post . It is very gripping. Your description reminds me of a movie I saw years ago named The Sea Inside. I think it was French and it was about a man's experience after a stroke that left him in a state of paralysis.
I think what you achieve in these moment of "escape" must be what really is so highly valued by people who meditate [and which I do not experience, at least not for a long time, I have supposed partly because of the anti-seizure medication in me] I think I am a sloppy meditator because I have been doing it so long. Basically I am looking for What Is, which means not being seduced or distracted by thinking. [I guess that is the same as Mindful Meditation.] In a Friends Meeting, the rule is that you do not speak unless you are guided by The Still Small Voice of God, which you have been earnestly listening for. As a child, I was earnestly confused, let me tell you.

 

[lauriepl]

Curious, what type of seizures you have and how much l-theanine do you take?