do you ever get the feeling...?

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petero

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frankly compared to some I don't think I have nearly as many seizures as many, which makes it easier for me in a way, but also makes it harder for me to adjust to them I believe...

but my question is - after this seizure (I had a bad one last Friday night), regarding the muscle areas involved, my right hip/groin has been in bad shape after this one, and at times I'll be massaging the muscle groups in the area, and it seems like I can somehow reverse-engineer the seizure from massaging the pain, to nerve stimulation, to brain stimulation, to a point where it feels like I start "bottoming out" again and get the spacey-cloudy feeling where the periphery starts disappearing, at which point I get terrified have to stop stimulating the muscle/soreness area.

And this is particularly miserable because it's my butt, and I have to sit on my butt. Not that sitting necessarily does the stimulation of the area, but it doesn't help. Not much seems to help. But I got some muscle relaxers today from my neuro (Flexeral/cyclobenzaprine). I'll see how those help out.

These past days since this last seizure have been particularly bad for me.
It -seems- like things happening during a previous seizure got stuck in my head somehow in my subconscious, and now maybe it was a similar type of seizure, a similar chemical equation, a chemical zipper re-zipping, so it has brought up a lot of things that seem like some sort of dream-reality that I can't exactly tell is real or not. There's nothing other than a very general context. And because there isn't a context, it's sort of like the thoughts detach and go down a drain, and then start dragging me back into a seizure it seems... but I haven't gone into a tonic-clonic again since the sleep seizure last Friday night. These must be some sort of aura though.

And - why do I get the feeling I have to prove something to someone? Is it because E is an "invisible" disease? Is there a common guilt type thing associated with mental diseases?

any tips/heads-up on these Flexeral/cyclobenzaprine are definitely welcome too - obviously no driving, and to be taken at night...
 
Peter, I'm sorry you're feeling so lousy. :( I hope the meds help you relax and heal.

why do I get the feeling I have to prove something to someone? Is it because E is an "invisible" disease?
Seems like a good theory.
 
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