Employer question

[Koda1021]

Hi Everyone!
Am hoping someone can offer any insight into my situation. Since my diagnosis last month, my employers (a large corporation) have been pretty understanding. Thankfully, I'm doing ok with meds, no seizures at work, and no absences due to the illness.

That said, I'm in a bit of a quandry. My employer has always allowed for "flexible" working hours, and thus, I generally come in by 7 am or so, and leave at 4 (generally take a half hour for lunch). Our new group director, though, tends to schedule a lot of things for after 4 pm, plus, he often tries to push "happy hours" to get the team socializing (and maybe working better together). I've been with this company 11 years and have had nothing but stellar reviews.

I've been polite, but firm, in explaining that I take my medication every day by 5 pm (explaining the importance of taking it at the same time), and normally it isn't an issue. But...now there is a new monkey-wrench. Our company just acquired another company (closing just completed) and they have offices about 15 miles away (which in this area can be up to an hours drive in bad traffic!)

Well, a short while ago, we (the team) get an email that next week at 4 pm we have a mandatory meeting at the new office as well as a happy hour afterwards and I'm concerned on many levels:

1 - I'm on 6 months driving restriction. I don't have a car, and even if I did, I couldn't drive there! I hate asking a co-worker, and in this case, most everyone I work with would be doubling-back to take me home if they gave me a ride!

2 - the time I need to take my medication! Most everyone is going to go to the happy hour...I can't wait that long, and I don't like taking my meds when I'm not at home just in case (I get an upset stomach sometimes or very tired from it)

3 - why do I feel as if I have to give an accounting of what I am doing on my OWN time? I don't discuss every test result or every aura I have, but it has only been a month since my diagnosis!! I feel now that I somehow have to justify being left alone after hours!

Plus, I'm also worried on a secondary level. Being that we aren't privvy to the conversations surrounding the acquisition, I'm nervous that they may keep this second office for space (right now, we barely fit the current employees we have!)..and I'm thinking they may keep that office building and move some people there.

So, I guess what I'm wondering is if I need to go to HR. The rep is really nice, and very willing to talk to me. Can they make me transfer if this office is in fact going to be a new location for us? There is no reasonable public transporation even for me to get there! Also, can they force these "mandatory" things that are for after-hours? I've been very accomodating and stayed late plenty of days, even since the diagnosis. But at least here, I am less than a mile from home, and my mother can rush right over to get me to the doctor, hospital, etc.

Thank you for any suggestions or insight, am sitting here in my cubicle crying I'm so upset!

 

[epileric]

I've been lucky enough to have never worked for big corporations so I can't really help you there.

Something that might help you in many aspects though is if you get yourself a pill container of sorts & always keep at least a day or 2's worth of medication in it. That way, whatever situation you're in you have access to your meds.

I learned to do that as a teen since I didn't always make it home for the night.

 

[Koda1021]

Well, it isn't so much the timing of the meds. I always keep them with me just in case, but more that I resent the forced after hours stuff that isn't work related (such as this meeting and happy hour). Plus, I've only been on the meds 1 month, and am still getting used to the original side effects and dealing with how I feel. I guess I don't think it's right to be expecting me to "get over it" when I never even got time off to truly rest and recover and take it all in.

 

[epileric]

I would check with whatever state department is in charge of employer/employee relationships to see what your obligations are as an employee & what the employer is allowed to demand of you.

 

[Koda1021]

That's what I'm going to do just so I know what they can and can't enforce. Like I mentioned, the HR person is actually very nice, and when I told her about my epilepsy she immediately switched into "HR mode" and wanted to know if I was ok, if I needed anything. I'm thinking of having a private talk with her to see whether my director is just being insensitive and how I might be able to make him understand my situation better. I don't want special treatment, but it's unfair to expect after hours work, especially when it is for something social!

 

[epileric]

I do agree with you there. I've found that when boss's try to make things spill over into the social then unprofessional behaviour & gossip tend to permeate the group.

 

[rangerwvu]

Hi,
Have you discussed this directly with the new Director? Not necessarily in a lot of detail, but if you are comfortable, something to the effect of: I can attend some after hours meetings (emphasis on that word), but I have other obligations that really dont allow me a lot of time after work hours....you know the drill.

Might help you in terms of their view of why you are/are not going, which would be a good thing. That way not going does not translate into 'not a team player' in her/his mind. Naturally, this is not very likely going to reduce the invites/push for the crowd to go to happy hour, but it will help you out and hopefully reduce your stress about it..if that seems to have no impact and you are being directly/individually pursued to go: take the "HR Mode" yourself when you walk in HRs door. I am glad you have a good rep there that is easy to talk to...

Hang in there and be patient with yourself, this is all very new for you and may even still be working with Docs to figure out just what the heck is going on...there is a lot to absorb and take in no matter where you are in this, so I do feel for you.

 

[huskymom]

We had this happen a couple of years ago with a previous director. He was going through a rough time at home and wasn't to keen on getting there after work, so he would schedule all of this "team building" stuff. Your director can't make it manditory if it is after your work schedule. Definitely talk to your HR rep. The last thing you need with a new diagnosis and getting comfortable with your meds is extra stress! Let us know how you are doing!

 

[mglynn2]

1. I always keep meds with me in a little pill box too in case I'm out and have to take them at my regular time.

2. I'm still in college so I don't have a corporate job issue, however I have summer job and college class issues. I have been lucky enough to get summer jobs close to where my mom works so that she could drive me there (I havent driven in my life because of my seizures) but it took me a month to finally find one because of the area restriction. And I have a great boss too because if I do have seizures she is very understanding with me having to stay home. In school I would have seizures before class or would feel an aura during class which prevented me from going to class or I would have to leave...needless to say..I missed a lot of school. I went to the campus Disability Resource Office and my professors were a lot more understanding and lenient but there was still only so much they could do (I was REALLY sick this past school year) so I still had to drop a class and missed stuff in a few others. But like me going to the DRO, I believe you talking to HR can really help you out and make your boss understand more and help you out if the need comes. Talking about it to others, especially those who can help makes it easier. And as far as transportation, I have had to rely on others for years so even though it can be hard to ask they will understand, you could give them gas money, that may help too.

 

[Topcat]

Once again conct the United State Department of Labor . Find out your rights. I doubt very much if you company can make you attend a non paid function.