Family - What did I do this time? :(

[resaebiunne]

First, this post involves politics, but I do not wish to start a debate or a discussion. For that, go to a politics board. This is an epilepsy support forum. I am here to vent, and probably not even venting in the proper place. Mods: If you feel my post is inappropriate, please delete it and I will understand without any ill feelings.

*sigh*

I commented on an uncle's facebook post a few hours ago......ed. note: deleted content .....The reaction to this? I got defriended on facebook by my uncle. So that makes 1 aunt, 2 uncle's and my dad all out of my life on my dad's side of my family. But they were never really friends to begin with. These were never people who I talked to. They've been "Facebook friends" for years now but I've never once talked to them. What good are they in my life? I've never really talked to anyone in my family. They're all just people who are there who I know by association only. They serve no purpose or value to me.

I'm done with my dad's side of the family, but it's sad. I don't want to miss out of my grandparents last shot at life, but I don't want the rest of my family involved. They're a bunch of jerks, literally. :soap:

I need to see a therapist now more than ever because of all this. I scheduled an appointment but it's not until December 19 and I can't wait that long. I got a referral from my GP to see a therapist so hopefully I can schedule something sooner.

I'm thinking of deleting my facebook account. I'm tired of the fake happy birthdays and the advertisements and the general nonsense. I will miss keeping in touch with a few friends but if they really care they can email me. Is that really so hard?

Now I'm really tempted to take work off sick tomorrow, ugh.

 

[Nakamova]

Hey resaebiunne, I did go ahead and delete the specific content of your dispute with your uncle. Thank you for understanding.

I think perhaps the real issue here (as you recognize) is our family and friends and the ways in which we can become toxic to one another. Facebook (along with other social media and internet forums) can definitely play a contributing role. It can bring people together (c.f. CWE). But it can also drive them apart, especially by magnifying their differences and and stoking competitive rather than cooperative impulses. It can mimic a discussion group, while also encouraging people to talk AT each other instead of WITH each other.

I think you are wise to consider deleting your Facebook account, or at least taking a vacation from it. And hopefully your therapist will provide you with other tools for engaging (or not engaging) with your family in ways that are more satisfying all around.

In the meantime, feel free to vent. And:
:hugs:

 

[resaebiunne]

Yeah, it's funny, I've been posting a ton on Facebook recently and it's like nobody reads what I post. Nobody reads it, nobody cares, they all just go on posting their own stuff and getting the likes and cute little smiley faces. My mom and her boyfriend are on a cruise in Cuba right now and they're getting tons of attention from all the pictures they've posted.

I'm tired. I'm literally shaking to death today. Even the doctors can only help so much, and it takes for-freaking-EVER to make any changes to anything. My blood work came back normal this morning. I wrote my boss an email and told him I was working from home today but all I did was sleep and eat McDonalds for lunch. At least I just shaved and took a shower.

But yeah, it's like talking to an empty room, nobody cares. When I was feeling ill, nobody watched any of the videos I posted about bipolar, schizophrenia, and epilepsy. They just get offended when I call them out on articles and then unfriend me even though I'm "family".

I think you're right Nakamova, I think it's time to delete my Facebook profile. It's nothing more than a bunch of ads these days anyway. It's worse than Google!

All of this stress, I just can't have it right now. I just started a full-time job as an engineer after being laid off for 18 months, my schizoaffective is acting up because of the stress, I moved out again into my own place. I can't drive. I don't need the family issues especially when my grandparents are in such bad health and I may not have much time left to see them. I feel truly alone and isolated right now.

 

[Freda]

Facebook is definitely doing you more harm than good at the moment and I agree it's best to take a break from it. As for family, well you can't choose them like you can friends and often they can be very unsympathetic when you need them to be supportive. I think people believe epilepsy is no big deal, they can't see it and so they push it aside in their ignorance. I can't understand where your dads family are coming from to be honest, I wouldn't delete my nieces/nephews just because they didn't agree with my opinions and even less so if they had a crap condition like epilepsy to deal with - how immature of them!
Reading their posts and looking at responses to others is not helping you one bit and just winding you up, so delete it and start it again when you feel you are strong enough to handle it some day, it's not an important part of life and you'd be better off doing something else with your time, something that will lift you up like exercise or yoga.
You've done brilliantly in getting that job and I hope you realise you owe yourself some pride in that, don't rely on others to lift you up because people so often let us down - the reason why I spend so much of my time with animals actually. Focus on your new job and don't give people like them any thought because they don't deserve it, they are non entities and not worth fretting over.

 

[resaebiunne]

Thanks Freda. Yeah, sound advice. It's like a big popularity contest but only your best friends are invited.

Right now I feel like garbage. I feel well enough mentally to go to work but I'm physically tired and I have a headache. I'm just full of a million excuses. If it's not one thing it's another. I don't feel like emailing my boss to call in sick today. I wish they could just give me some space. ARRRRGGGH lol, just got a call from work. It never ends!

My psychiatrist appointment can't come soon enough, my meds NEED to change.

 

[Freda]

Hope you get your meds changed soon and the lethargy gets under control. I don't have E but I do have down days at times where I feel so exhausted I just want to laze on the sofa and do nothing. Luckily I have dogs that need to be walked and pigeons that I have to attend to and once I get my butt in gear I get an adrenaline lift - but if it wasn't for the dependence of my pets I'm sure I'd just sink further into myself. I do get seasonal affective disorder in the winter months - I literally hate winter and the short days.

Facebook is okay if you can shrug off the childishness of some folk and the attention seeking posts. I don't deal much with the human side of it tbh, any Facebook friends I have I've met through dog and pigeon groups and we share lots in common. I don't even read anything other than posts about animals most of the time and I'd never get involved with back biting of any kind. Just animals for me, that's what keeps me happy.

Delete anything or anyone that brings you down - that's my philosophy.

 

[Porkette]

Hi resaebiunne,

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through a hard time with your family. I never use Facebook because I would rather speak to the person by phone or mail.
Take my word my family cut me off yrs. ago and my parents especially my dad has had nothing to do with me. I found the best thing to do is to continue on in life and don't have contact with the person that is giving you a hard time. It's been lonely and empty in my life I will admit except for all of you here on the forum. But keep your chin up it could be a lot worse. I wish you only the best of luck and May God Bless You!

Sue

 

[resaebiunne]

Thanks Porkette.

The hardest part of my situation lately is having been so transient and having to deal with the bipolar. I've moved nearly every year now for the past 3 or 4 years, including interstate and intercity. Until recently, I lived with my mom because I couldn't afford to live on my own while I was laid off and only working part-time. I have one friend who I keep in touch with regularly, the rest have kind of faded away. I have no real friends to spend time with. I have some friends here in Orlando, but they're all married now and I rarely see them and I doubt they would understand my epilepsy and mental health issues. It would truly take a special person to understand my epilepsy, schizoaffective bipolar, and introverted personality. That is why I'm so interested in trying to see a therapist, I'm just dissapointed that I have to wait so long for an appointment with one. The therapist that I was referred to never even called me back!

I can't stand the stress of family right now, I have enough going on in my life trying to take care of myself that I don't need their input. Considering their attitudes towards me, their ignorance shows. I value the opinions of those on these forums more than those of my family because the people on these forums typically have epilepsy themselves, for one thing, or at least know someone who does, and two, understand how to deal with it in more productive ways.

But like I said, it's not just the epilepsy, it's everything. Right now I literally feel like I'm going out of my mind.