First date, medic alert bracelet, what to say?

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Sparkles

Sparkles

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I will be going on a casual date tomorrow after work - just iced tea for an hour or so. We met online. I think I must be crazy. Anyway. Do I keep the Medic Alert bracelet on? When is the appoproiate time to tell someone you have epilepsy (a term brand new to me as of Friday since previously the docs just said partial complex seizure disorder, which was also new to me and I was in total denial about it). I don't want to hide anything, but the first date doesn't seem appropriate. To add to this, it is my first date since separating in 2006. So... No biggie.. :rolleyes: What to do, what to do... :ponder:
 
Sparkles

Wear the bracelet casual or not, me and its only me I do not think there is a good time to tell someone and I defiantly would not say anything straight away. Enjoy yourself.
 
I agree with Fedup. No need to come right out and say it. If this turns in to more then you can explain every thing to him.

Go and have a good time
 
If your doctor told you to wear it, then wear it.
Also, you wear the bracelet most of the time (I assume) and dozens of people see it, strangers and acquaintances alike. Your date is largely like anyone else you might encounter out of the blue, strike up a conversation with, and decide to have coffee with (for example). And in this circumstance you would have the bracelet on. He/she may have seen the bracelet, or may not. Same with your date. If he asks about it, give him simple but honest answers. If he decides to not see you again because of your epilepsy, he probably isn't worth your time anyway. Think of this as a "test" for him lol!
 
I agree with the others....you are who you are and don't be ashamed. Maybe that word not the right word... but if he runs then shame on him and his character is not the one for you. Chances are, he is a nice guy and he will understand. :)
 
Thank you all so much. I'm nervous enough about not having dated basically since the 1990s (I don't count my marriage, long story there), and this diagnosis is so new, I just didn't know what to do. It's just an hour after work for iced tea. You're all right, of course. Wear the bracelet, answer any question honestly, and that's the way it is. I am who I am. :)
 
I feel it's not necessarily first-date material unless it comes up in conversation. (Just as you wouldn't necessarily bring up hemorrhoids or that bout with hoof-and-mouth disease...). But if you're going to commit to the bracelet, might as well wear it proudly.

Hope it goes well and you have fun. :)
 
Nakamova said:
I feel it's not necessarily first-date material unless it comes up in conversation. (Just as you wouldn't necessarily bring up hemorrhoids or that bout with hoof-and-mouth disease...). But if you're going to commit to the bracelet, might as well wear it proudly.

Hope it goes well and you have fun. :)
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Leave it to Nak to put it all into perspective:roflmao:
 
Nakamova said:
I feel it's not necessarily first-date material unless it comes up in conversation. (Just as you wouldn't necessarily bring up hemorrhoids or that bout with hoof-and-mouth disease...). But if you're going to commit to the bracelet, might as well wear it proudly.

Hope it goes well and you have fun. :)
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i love ya nak but must say i disagree with you there. hemorrhoids is def along the lines of embarrassing, having epilepsy is not. hemorrhoids are usually self-caused, epilepsy is not.

also sparkles, what to do if you took the bracelet off then when you're out with him you had a seizure? defeats the purpose of having it.

there's also a chance it lasts longer than an hour, plus you'll be a bit nervous and some with E get into the seizure zone when nerves or anxiousness strike. again, should have it on for that purpose.

if he has an issue with it then he's not worth a second date anyway ;)
 
I don't know about the Hoof-and-moth disease Is that self caused or am I thinking of foot-in-mouth disease!:ponder: One of those I get a lot just don't remember which:pfft:
 
Wear it loud and proud! If this guy (or anyone else for that matter) isn't savvy enough to handle it, then adios! Maybe he poops his pants on a regular basis. Not they are the same. One falls in the Icky level while the other is nothing that you can control. Okay, maybe he can't control pooping his pants. I guess I should be more sensitive to pants poopers around the world. So, from this day forward, I swear to not think anything in particular when I meet a pants pooper :) And you only have Epilepsy? See, it could be worse ;)
 
i love ya nak but must say i disagree with you there. hemorrhoids is def along the lines of embarrassing, having epilepsy is not. hemorrhoids are usually self-caused, epilepsy is not.
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I hear you. I don't mean that epilepsy should be off-limits because it's embarrassing, only that health issues don't tend to make my list of first-date topics. Unless the conversation wanders in that direction, I'd rather wait to say "BTW, I have asthma/epilepsy/mad cow disease" until after I know if my date and I have compatible zodiac signs. :) But that's just me -- other folks may want to bring it up right away, which is fine too. I don't think whether it's self-caused or not should be a factor though.
 
imo it's not so hard to bring up when you didn't do anything/have no shame for the reason behind it. mine actually started in the womb (only took them a decade to find that out *#@*$!*), which feels very different than say, having seizures because of a long-term hard drug/alcohol problem. i know you know what i'm getting at ;)

note: this isn't to judge anyone for any particular reason of their epilepsy, i'm just stating why i don't have an issue with how i feel about mine.
 
qtowngirl said:
imo it's not so hard to bring up when you didn't do anything/have no shame for the reason behind it. mine actually started in the womb (only took them a decade to find that out *#@*$!*), which feels very different than say, having seizures because of a long-term hard drug/alcohol problem. i know you know what i'm getting at ;)

note: this isn't to judge anyone for any particular reason of their epilepsy, i'm just stating why i don't have an issue with how i feel about mine.
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I know this is something were all passionate about. There are ways around it like I wear the dog tag. That way no one really knows about it. But it is there just in case. am I hiding the fact that I have E? Maybe I don't know I have never been in Sparkles position yet I know that day will come and when it does they will probably figure that out when I have to ask for a ride! So in my case I'll have to be upfront with them and let them figure out if they want to deal with it or not! A good friend of mine were just talking about this very issue and how it would be so much easier to find someone with E that already understands!
 
Unless you're like Sandie and myself that hides things all the time....then could you imagine being in a relationship and living together?? hehe We would have to spend our healthy days going on a treasure hunt around the house!

Sometimes I do think it would be easier being in a relationship or dating someone else with E (coming from a single person not yet dating) because I think I can lend a compassionate ear and a heartfelt hug to my partner who may be having a particularly rough seizure day and it would be easy to explain when I am too.
 
Well, I went on the date and we talked for 2 1/2 hours and sat at a table where my hands were in my lap half the time. If he noticed the bracelet he didn't say anything. He works for the VA so I'm guessing he's seen medic alert bracelets but mine has pink and sliver beads, so it doesn't really pop. If he noticed, he didn't say anything. The subject of health never came up so I didn't bring it up. He's really nice, thoughtful, things my ex was not. My epilepsy (still weird to type that) just started at the end of my marriage and wasn't recognized or diagnosed as such and my ex couldn't handle it, but hey, so sorry about that because I was just having a great time myself. So me trusting someone with this would be hard. My ex has used it against me in a lot of ways before I even knew what it was. And there is just no known cause, except maybe a few head injuries earlier in my life. Ok, I digress. The date was nice, the guy was nice, the bracelet went unnoticed, I definitely felt better for wearing it, and if there's a second date, well... Good golly I'll have to figure it out then! Lord have mercy dating sucks! :) but it's also kind of fun. ;)
 
Did I say thank you enough? I don't think I said it enough. Thank you. For the responses here, for this site, for gosh, just everything. I have felt so alone in all of this. Until now.
 
Awe, Im soooo glad you had fun!! He sounds like a jewel! :) poo on your ex for using your E to hurt you, I'm sorry for that. But I am glad you are beginning a new life :)
 
Sparkles said:
Well, I went on the date and we talked for 2 1/2 hours and sat at a table where my hands were in my lap half the time. If he noticed the bracelet he didn't say anything. He works for the VA so I'm guessing he's seen medic alert bracelets but mine has pink and sliver beads, so it doesn't really pop. If he noticed, he didn't say anything. The subject of health never came up so I didn't bring it up. He's really nice, thoughtful, things my ex was not. My epilepsy (still weird to type that) just started at the end of my marriage and wasn't recognized or diagnosed as such and my ex couldn't handle it, but hey, so sorry about that because I was just having a great time myself. So me trusting someone with this would be hard. My ex has used it against me in a lot of ways before I even knew what it was. And there is just no known cause, except maybe a few head injuries earlier in my life. Ok, I digress. The date was nice, the guy was nice, the bracelet went unnoticed, I definitely felt better for wearing it, and if there's a second date, well... Good golly I'll have to figure it out then! Lord have mercy dating sucks! :) but it's also kind of fun. ;)
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I'm happy things went well for you. I know how you feel when you say your ex tried to use it against you. My ex tried to make me do supervised visitation to see my daughter!
It didn't set well with me or my attorney. My ex had been with me throughout my whole bout with E. I went 15 years with out a seizure then march last year hello they're back.
I remember clearly when we were leaving the epileptolgist office after my first EEG last year and he told me it was ab normal. That wasn't shocking for me I have E. What shocked me was the ride home when my ex said she just couldn't handle it again! That was March by August last year I was out of the house and Divorced was final March 11. I say its their loss!! Now I can wear my shirt that says I have epilepsy whats your excuse when ever I see her!
I'm glad the date went well and I hope there is another in the near future!
 
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