Furnishing a flat: an epileptic's dilemma

[Mantis]

My mother is a worrier. I guess many of them are, but she would give them a run for their money. I want to change things in my flat, but she is always questioning my decisions. She seems to think that everything to protect me from injury must be implemented. But she must however realise that I'm nearly twenty-five and I have the final say in any choice about my flat. Soon I'll be getting two kittens once I change things around and make it an ideal living environment for them. I guess they'll be my best friends as since moving into this place hasn't made that so easy.

I'm a geek and I enjoy various geeky topics. I'm also a collector, and as such I collect quite a lot of things related to my obsessions, many of which have value and I'd like on display and protected. I want the glass cabinet called DETOLF from IKEA. (Not allowed to post links so you'll need to consult Google sadly.) Unfortunately my mother is completely against my decision to get one or two of these. I know the safety risks and I'd keep it in the room that I only spend an hour or two in every day. IKEA is the only company that stocks these. Nobody else offers an alternative that is either Plexiglass (plastic) and cheap or at the dimensions that I want. There's a small risk I could have a seizure and in my postictal state fall into the cabinet. There is also a risk I could have a random seizure in the middle of a road and become dismembered by a large truck. I have not yet built a bridge over the main road to avoid such a risk.

I apologise for the morbid humour, but I feel as if I can't find a way to please everybody. It just seems like everything I do or decide is second guessed by somebody in my family, and it makes me feel like I'm just a liability. onder: Sorry for the rant.

 

[Cint]

My mother is a worrier. I guess many of them are, but she would give them a run for their money. I want to change things in my flat, but she is always questioning my decisions. She seems to think that everything to protect me from injury must be implemented. But she must however realise that I'm nearly twenty-five and I have the final say in any choice about my flat.

You are right, most mothers are worriers and that can be good or bad. But since you are 25 years young, she does need to let you go, despite your dilemma. Not everything she or anyone does will necessarily protect you from injury due to a seizure.

I want the glass cabinet called DETOLF from IKEA. (Not allowed to post links so you'll need to consult Google sadly.) Unfortunately my mother is completely against my decision to get one or two of these. I know the safety risks and I'd keep it in the room that I only spend an hour or two in every day. IKEA is the only company that stocks these. Nobody else offers an alternative that is either Plexiglass (plastic) and cheap or at the dimensions that I want. There's a small risk I could have a seizure and in my postictal state fall into the cabinet. There is also a risk I could have a random seizure in the middle of a road and become dismembered by a large truck. I have not yet built a bridge over the main road to avoid such a risk.

Or there is a small risk you could have one while sleeping and not wake. Or you could have one in the shower and suffer severe burns (been there, done that), or you could have one while driving and hit a tree (been there, too). I now live alone, but before I left my husband, I still had a few bad seizures when family members were home and nothing could be done (like the one in the shower). So your mom needs to lighten up.

I apologise for the morbid humour, but I feel as if I can't find a way to please everybody. It just seems like everything I do or decide is second guessed by somebody in my family, and it makes me feel like I'm just a liability.

No need to apologize. You won't please anybody and they will more than likely 2nd guess your decisions. But that is probably because they do not understand E and are concerned about you.

 

[valeriedl]

Your mom needs to understand that you can't live in a padded room!

I have pictures on the wall that could fall off if I bump into them during a seizure or I could pull them off while having one too. They could hurt me if something would happen but they're still up there.

I've got a good many knickknacks sitting all over the shelves in the house. Same thing goes with them - take them down or knock them down. Some are pretty heavy or made of glass. I could break a foot or get a pretty good cut. Should I take them all down?

I could have a seizure and fall out of bed, should I get rid of the bed and just sleep on the floor? I might even twist myself up in the blankets and something could happen with that. Should I stop sleeping without anything on top of me?

Just think of all the things that are in the kitchen that you could hurt yourself with! I won't even get started on those. Is she going to come over and feed you by hand every day so you don't hurt yourself?

Heck you could end up hurting yourself sitting on the toilet if you have a seizure. Wear a diaper and have her change it?

I could keep going on and on about all sorts of things that could be dangerous but I'll stop here.

I have 2 cats and 9 time out of 10 the one knows when I'm having a seizure. He'll sit on me and won't let me up till he knows his mommy's ok.

So like I said - Unless she's going to pad your house (which the cat's will just scratch apart any way) and babysit you all day long then she needs to let you live in the style you want!!!!

Rant all you like by the way, I think I just did! :soap:

 

[SlimBlue]

just looking round my tiny front room- there's 4 open PC cases with the innards spewed out, boxes of power supplys/hard drives/electronics etc...

lots of blood spots on the carpet where i've collapsed and banged my head on stuff- not pleasant, but i like having a 'batcave' to hide in and plan my takeover of the world from and even tho it's probably not the best way to fill the room (done 3 of my ribs on the coffee table in the past 2 years) I like it that way.

I pay the rent, so that's the way it stays....

Yeah, we could all have no furniture, put mattresses down everywhere and bubble-wrap on the walls- but who want's to live like that??

Get your display cases and put those man-toys (j/k) on proud show

 

[SlimBlue]

just made a 100

 

[gowings83]

Wow I got the same mom. I'm so tired of being 30 yet treated like I'm 12. It's constantly are you sure you can do this, you shouldn't do that, you won't be safe that way. Kind of annoying isn't it. I still try my best to live my life how I see fit, it's all you can do.

 

[DancesWithPugs1980]

just looking round my tiny front room- there's 4 open PC cases with the innards spewed out, boxes of power supplys/hard drives/electronics etc...

lots of blood spots on the carpet where i've collapsed and banged my head on stuff- not pleasant, but i like having a 'batcave' to hide in and plan my takeover of the world from and even tho it's probably not the best way to fill the room (done 3 of my ribs on the coffee table in the past 2 years) I like it that way.

I pay the rent, so that's the way it stays....

Yeah, we could all have no furniture, put mattresses down everywhere and bubble-wrap on the walls- but who want's to live like that??

Get your display cases and put those man-toys (j/k) on proud show

Bubble-wrap on the walls onder: I could live with that! :woot:

 

[SlimBlue]

LOL I'd never leave the house at all...

pop pop pop pop...............

 

[Mantis]

Thank you all for your great advice. You certainly hit the nail on the head, Cint. Accidents will and do happen. Adding multiple safeguards is just a way of protecting somebody (or suppressing the fear of the accident) from the inevitable by wrapping oneself in a blanket of naivety. But I am sorry to hear about your accidents. I am however glad you've been able to drive. Even if I eventually "controlled" I'm not sure I'll be able to build up the confidence for that. Because on the road, if you could have a TC, well... let's just say I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something terrible happened. My sister's ex-boyfriend is epileptic and controlled and he drives now. It's good when I hear about success stories.

Valerie, you're absolutely right! There are so many things in any living environment that are a potential danger. With regard to the bed thing, for months now I have been sleeping on the floor technically. Well, lately I've chosen the sofa over it, but I have an inflatable bed on the floor too. I'm planning to get a real bed but I'm rearranging a lot of things in here. Now, what you said about falling reminded me of something. Have you ever heard of futons? They're a Japanese-styled bed, and true futons aren't elevated, are rolled out and laid on the floor. I think it would be a good choice for epileptics, but once again my interest in them has been attacked—LOL!

I also found what you said about your cats quite phenomenal. It's fantastic that one of your pets knows when you're having a seizure and knows what to do. But one thing I worry about when getting a cat was... well, what if I collapse and hurt my pet(s) in the process? How does the cat stay on you when you convulse, or is that during the postictal? Mind the humour again, but I could see it with me being like those log games that require running on it to avoid falling off.

SlimBlue, what you've said has certainly hit home. Though I don't own as many computers as you do, I'm a tech freak. A couple of months back I had my computer case side part on the floor as I was switching hard drives and solid state drives. You can guess the rest. I had a seizure. I collapsed and my head conveniently landed on top of the metal very sharp case. When I came to I had a few cuts on my face, but that was nothing in comparison with my lip. I thought a large chunk of my lip had been torn out during my convulsions. My whole face was red, smeared with blood, and my carpet looked like the result of a three-year-old enjoying a strawberry syrup sugar rush. Fortunately my lip was split in half and could be stitched. It has a scar, but it could have been much worse. Thanks for your tips. I like the sound of a bat cave. And certainly, nobody wants to live with... wait, bubble wrap? :crazy2:

gowings83, yeah, I know how you feel there even though you're a few years older. Those are almost exactly the questions and doubts I constantly have to listen to! It's very annoying, and I just wish that others could understand but since I knew jack about epilepsy before it became a part of my life (late 2008_) I can't really blame others. It's a shame that the world is full of ignorance about epilepsy, and the next time I hear somebody ask me whether disco lights make me seize I'm going to explode. I know some people have photosensitive epilepsy, but they (general public) need to stop following Hollywood all the time and realise that less than 1% (last I checked, sorry if I'm wrong) are affected by strobe lighting. Hah, sorry I went off on a tangent. But yeah, I guess sometimes we've just gotta make do with what we've got.

 

[valeriedl]

I also found what you said about your cats quite phenomenal. It's fantastic that one of your pets knows when you're having a seizure and knows what to do. But one thing I worry about when getting a cat was... well, what if I collapse and hurt my pet(s) in the process? How does the cat stay on you when you convulse, or is that during the postictal? Mind the humour again, but I could see it with me being like those log games that require running on it to avoid falling off.

I very rarely have TC, maybe once a year and I don't think I've ever been around him when I've had one. Mine are usually partials.

He was about 3 when I got him and it was about a year before I started having seizures. It was just something that he sort of grew up with me so I guess he just knows when I'm not right. I'll come out of a seizure and find him sitting or laying on me. He's a pretty big boy and he's not an easy one to shove off.

There are a good many people who have pets that know when they are having seizures and will do the same thing.

 

[masterjen]

There are definitely ways you can minimize the risk. I take it you don't have any pre-warnings to get to a safe place. This is where a seizure dog would be a great help. If you are against this for whatever reason, make your place as safe as you reasonably can: turn the temperature down on the hot water tap settings so you don't burn yourself (Cint - I cringe whenever I read of your experience!), screw any tall or heavy cabinets to the wall so that if you do fall into them at least they won't fall on top of you, if you have night seizures don't use bedside tables - make the area around your bed clear in the event you fall out of bed, and for some people it makes sense to cook only using the microwave! Just some ideas; I'm others have more that are within the realm of practicality, but that don't prevent you from living alone.

 

[Mantis]

I very rarely have TC, maybe once a year and I don't think I've ever been around him when I've had one. Mine are usually partials.

He was about 3 when I got him and it was about a year before I started having seizures. It was just something that he sort of grew up with me so I guess he just knows when I'm not right. I'll come out of a seizure and find him sitting or laying on me. He's a pretty big boy and he's not an easy one to shove off.

There are a good many people who have pets that know when they are having seizures and will do the same thing.

Right, I see now. That certainly makes sense, and hopefully the newborn kittens I plan to adopt from a rescue centre will be somewhat similar to that. I'm going to spoil them, but the last thing I'd want is to harm them in any way. I'll consider some safety measures at least. onder:

There are definitely ways you can minimize the risk. I take it you don't have any pre-warnings to get to a safe place. This is where a seizure dog would be a great help. If you are against this for whatever reason, make your place as safe as you reasonably can: turn the temperature down on the hot water tap settings so you don't burn yourself (Cint - I cringe whenever I read of your experience!), screw any tall or heavy cabinets to the wall so that if you do fall into them at least they won't fall on top of you, if you have night seizures don't use bedside tables - make the area around your bed clear in the event you fall out of bed, and for some people it makes sense to cook only using the microwave! Just some ideas; I'm others have more that are within the realm of practicality, but that don't prevent you from living alone.

Actually I do have the occasional aura and also have a lot of focal seizures. (Usually at least one a day lately.) When I'm at my home I often lie on my sofa when I have an aura/focal and try to relax by doing something repetitive that I'm used to and won't require a whole lot of thought. This might be—god forbid—playing Angry Birds on my phone. I've heard a lot about seizure dogs. It's a good idea, but unfortunately it isn't an option for me. I live on the first floor. (Not sure if that's the bottom floor for those in the US, but the bottom one is called the ground floor here.)

This brings me to the topic of house cats. I know a lot of people are against this idea, so for those who have flaming torches and pitchforks at the ready, please put them away. My landlady has approved my request for this, and I plan to get a couple of kittens so they'll always have a furry friend to play with, and a cat tree plus many obstacles and platforms which will make every day an adventure. Doesn't sound good for an epileptic though, but I'll be sure to make it work out. Now that I'm done with that... hmm, the hot water suggestion is a good one, but I always get a warm shower. The tap temperatures could maybe be adjusted.

Thanks for the screw suggestion. I'll be sure to nail it to the wall for every two shelves. I'm thinking about having my new bed next to a window. I mean, with the window considerably above the bed itself. That can't be bad, can it? Every other side would be clear. I just think having a bed in a centre of a room takes up too much space. As for cooking, I don't actually own a proper oven. Cooking with just the microwave unfortunately won't work with my intention to lose weight soon. But the microwave isn't foolproof—once I had a focal whilst cooking some instant noodles with the microwave, but I forgot to put the water in. Wow, the amount of black smoke was a sight to see. :clap: I use a George Foreman grill for most things.

 

[masterjen]

Mantis - Great idea with the George Foreman grill!! I hadn't thought of that! Cooking noodles with water in the microwave would definitely have created some smoke lol. I know of some people who have a microwave as well as toaster oven who have been known to mix up which dishes can be used in which device . . . . not pretty

 

[valeriedl]

This brings me to the topic of house cats. I know a lot of people are against this idea, so for those who have flaming torches and pitchforks at the ready, please put them away. My landlady has approved my request for this, and I plan to get a couple of kittens so they'll always have a furry friend to play with, and a cat tree plus many obstacles and platforms which will make every day an adventure. Doesn't sound good for an epileptic though, but I'll be sure to make it work out.

I used to hate cats until we had some strays come to the house, now I love them better than dogs. They are so much easier to take care of! You can be gone all day, even over night if you have to, and not worry about them needing to get out to go to the bathroom. Just make sure they have food, water and the litter box is clean before you leave.

I've got a good many things for the cats to play on and they are all in the corners of the rooms, if they are small then they are in front of the window so they can sit on them and look out. I've never had any accidents with them while I've had a seizure. I've actually tripped over them several times while I was ok! Sprinkle some cat nip on them and the cats will stay on them for ever.

A good way to train a cat is with a squirt bottle. Any time they start doing something that they shouldn't give them a little squirt, don't drench them with water. All mine have to do now is see the bottle and they stop right away what ever it is that they are doing.

If you have trouble doing things with them that need to be done, like cutting their toenails, then give them a treat after. Mine get cheese because it's something they only get when they're good, not all the time. After awhile they realize that when what ever it is you are doing that they don't like is going to be done then they are going to get that treat. I've found that regular people toenail cutters work much better than the pet ones.

If you want any more cat training tips let me know.

Mantis - Great idea with the George Foreman grill!! I hadn't thought of that! Cooking noodles with water in the microwave would definitely have created some smoke lol. I know of some people who have a microwave as well as toaster oven who have been known to mix up which dishes can be used in which device . . . . not pretty

I have a George Foreman grill but I haven't used it in a long time. Does it have a timer that you set so it turns off after so many minutes? I have a waffle iron (works in the same way as the George Forman) and I had a seizure once while using it. I don't know how long the waffle cooked before my husband realized it was burning. Don't be afraid to cook in general though, you can't live off of cold cans of soup.

 

[Nakamova]

Mantis -- I hope you are able to find the right balance between being safe, and not letting epilepsy control all your life choices. Regarding the IKEA glass cabinet -- seen here http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/10011055/ -- I say go for it if it's what you really like.

I did have a seizure once where I kicked in a glass bookcase. When I "came to" I had wandered down three flights of stairs to the laundry room, presumably to clean up the blood from the cut on my leg from the glass. But even if the bookcase had been bubble-wrapped, I could easily have injured myself by falling downstairs instead. There are always risks.

 

[Mantis]

Mantis - Great idea with the George Foreman grill!! I hadn't thought of that! Cooking noodles with water in the microwave would definitely have created some smoke lol. I know of some people who have a microwave as well as toaster oven who have been known to mix up which dishes can be used in which device . . . . not pretty

In case you hadn't noticed, I meant noodles without the water. My entire kitchen was filled with black smoke so I had to shut the door immediately. Then re-enter with a towel to open the window and dash out! I've set the fire alarm off a couple of times. After explaining my epilepsy to the firemen they seemed to understand fairly well. I imagine they just added the fact I'm epileptic to their notes or something.

I used to hate cats until we had some strays come to the house, now I love them better than dogs. They are so much easier to take care of! You can be gone all day, even over night if you have to, and not worry about them needing to get out to go to the bathroom. Just make sure they have food, water and the litter box is clean before you leave.

I've got a good many things for the cats to play on and they are all in the corners of the rooms, if they are small then they are in front of the window so they can sit on them and look out. I've never had any accidents with them while I've had a seizure. I've actually tripped over them several times while I was ok! Sprinkle some cat nip on them and the cats will stay on them for ever.

A good way to train a cat is with a squirt bottle. Any time they start doing something that they shouldn't give them a little squirt, don't drench them with water. All mine have to do now is see the bottle and they stop right away what ever it is that they are doing.

If you have trouble doing things with them that need to be done, like cutting their toenails, then give them a treat after. Mine get cheese because it's something they only get when they're good, not all the time. After awhile they realize that when what ever it is you are doing that they don't like is going to be done then they are going to get that treat. I've found that regular people toenail cutters work much better than the pet ones.

If you want any more cat training tips let me know.

Haha, I can relate to your interest in the stray cats. I visited Spain in April which was quite a big step for me, but ended up loving it mostly due to the beautiful weather which made me rather happy and thus had very few seizures. (Compared to stormy England. I'd discuss how I want to move country due to epilepsy, but that's another topic!!) In any case, the locals must have hated me because I literally had about twenty cats surrounding me when I offered them various meats. It was incredible.

On the topic of holidays/vacations, how do you handle various trips when you have a couple of cats to take care of? I know a trip lasting just a couple of days is usually fine if you provide the cats with an automatic feeding station (seen a couple of good ones on Amazon), but I do worry about longer trips, even if they're infrequent. I do not yet trust my neighbours with my flat, so I suppose I'd ask family about it.

Good tips there! For my flat's new design, I'm planning a "cat corner" so it sounds similar to yours. I recently ordered a squirt bottle. Hmm, I never thought about clipping the claws, but that's good advice with the cheese. Thanks and I'll certainly let you know about my progress with my moggies when the time comes.

I have a George Foreman grill but I haven't used it in a long time. Does it have a timer that you set so it turns off after so many minutes? I have a waffle iron (works in the same way as the George Forman) and I had a seizure once while using it. I don't know how long the waffle cooked before my husband realized it was burning. Don't be afraid to cook in general though, you can't live off of cold cans of soup.

My grill doesn't have an auto-timer, and from experience having a couple of grills in the past too, I imagine very few have this feature. It can be rectified though to an extent. You can get plug adapters that connect to the mains which have a timer of their own. You could set it to thirty minutes if you feel your cooking will not last any longer than this, then if something happens it will switch off after then. This will not protect food in all cases though. Since the grill will of course be already burning hot it will take a good few minutes for it to cool down.

Mantis -- I hope you are able to find the right balance between being safe, and not letting epilepsy control all your life choices. Regarding the IKEA glass cabinet -- seen here (Mantis edit: had to remove the link, gah) -- I say go for it if it's what you really like.

I did have a seizure once where I kicked in a glass bookcase. When I "came to" I had wandered down three flights of stairs to the laundry room, presumably to clean up the blood from the cut on my leg from the glass. But even if the bookcase had been bubble-wrapped, I could easily have injured myself by falling downstairs instead. There are always risks.

Thank you. Yes, that is the one, although my choice will be the black style. You're absolutely right about the risks. I think after taking all things into consideration, we need to stand up for ourselves even if this creates problems with family. We can't allow family and/or shrinks to dictate our lives. With that "lifestyle", I just feel like an empty vessel. I need to model my life around my own preferences and try to change things so I can finally have a life. Many of us are at a risk of SUDEP. As terrifying of a thought as it is, we need to accept it and everything else. I also shouldn't be afraid of others' perceptions because I wouldn't want to associate with an inconsiderate person anyway.

 

[valeriedl]

I didn't know they made timers that you could plug things into and they would go off automatically after so long. I'm going to have to look into getting one of those.

If you're going to be gone for a short time, maybe only a day or two, as long as they have enough food and water they should be ok. Think about getting an extra litter box too.

When I go away for a long period of time it's usually my grandparents that baby sit the cats, they insist upon it. They don't even like it when we leave them at home alone for just one night. The hardest part is getting them in the carrier and driving them to their house.

 

[valeriedl]

Watch out how much money that you spend on things for the cats. The only things that were worth the money that I spent on them were the condo and a pet bed, however half the time they'd rather sleep on a folded up blanket.

The only toy that I bought that they play with is a doughnut with a ball in it. Their favorite things are a bottle cap, piece of yarn and an old sock tied up with cat nip in it. You can but toys that you put cat nip in but mine have nothing to do with them.

(sorry if this is too much kitty info)

 

[QueenieKP]

If 'you' ever got worried about the glass doors, call a local builder and have it switched over for plexiglass.

But as other posters have said there are plenty off innocuous things that can turn a potential death traps (and as a worrying mother myself I would like nothing more than for my 19 year old baby to leave home every day wearing a romper suit padded with bubble wrap and a helmet - he doesn't have epilepsy).

Your mother is just acting out her biological imperative. Now remember to call her she worries (that was a large printed poster my mother bought me when I left home).

As to the cats, I love 'em have one but they are sociopaths and as soon as they have opposable thumbs and can open a can of tuna they will plot your death and aviation your man toys on eBay.

 

[ems0160]

Just want to jump in the convo coz I love cats..

Lol