Hello from Ireland

[citog]

Hi all!
I am so glad I stumbled across this board tonight as I hope some of you can enlighten me.My mother has epilepsy and I have so many questions I need to ask of you - if you dont mind helping me out.I just dont know any more if it is just epilepsy that we are dealing with here,if it is then terrific.I keep telling her that it is great that this is all her problem is and that she doesnt have a terminal illness or anything.Afterall, she should be able to control her own life and not let this problem control her...am I right here or am I just an unsympathetic daughter.
I have taken her to see a specialist in Dublin , she attends our gp along with attending our local hospital.Epilepsy controls her life and ours.My younger sister criesd if I go to leave the house for fear my mother will have a seizure.She doesnt have them every day- but for some reason Sunday seems to be a very usual day for her to have one.We wonder if it is because the kitchen is warm?Or because she is stressed cooking dinner?But then, how stressful can cooking dinner be?Is it stressful enough to bring on a seizure ?Or a petit mal absense seizure?I dont know , I have looked stuff up online I have researched this area in medical books but I am not any wiser.
Is it possible that if somebody upsets her that she can have a seizure?Or is this just emotional blackmail?We dont know anymore.
She had a seizure three and a half weeks ago and she says her lip is still numb after it.Is this possible or is she imagining it?I questioned the specialist about thisa and he seemed to think it would go away and was not a cause for concern.
Now I am beginning to worry that she has a brain tumour combined with the epilepsy.Is this possible?I suppose it is?
Please dont think I am being negative here,I really dont mean to be, I am very worried about my mother and that is why I am writing this.But I am at my wits end I dont seem to have anybody I can ask anymore.My dad died three years ago from cancer and I am the eldest in our family.We are all so drained.Every day there is something wrong with my mother.Sometimes I feel angry with her , I just want her to enjoy life instead of being miserable all of the time.I kniw its tough having epilepsy but surely it is not the end of the world.
Like are you guys paranoid about leaving the house in case you have a "turn" as she puts it.How did you get over the embarrassment element of things?(If you felt that way as I appreciate that everybody deals with things differently)I have begged her to go to counselling but to no avail.
Does my mum sound typical of someone who has epilepsy? Or is she playing on it and wanting us to feel sorry for her all of the time and treat her like an invalid?
I dont believe she is an invalid, she is just a person who has epilepsy surely to God.
I wonder sometimes if she takes her tablets correctly- how severe would the reaction be if she didnt?Would it be enough to bring on a petit mal absence seizure or a grande mal one?
Incidentally my mum has more absence seizures than she does grand mal ones.
Absence seizures typically happen a few times a week - maybe five... grand mal do not happen every week or every month but sporadically- although she has had three in the past month.
I am sorry this is so long and I really will appreciate it if somebody can take the time to reply as I am at my wits end here.
With much admiration to all of you who continue to control your own lives despite living with this condition.
Citog[/b]

 

[Bernard]

Hi Citog, welcome to the forum. :hello:

You sound a bit overwhelmed. Hang in there!

I just dont know any more if it is just epilepsy that we are dealing with here,if it is then terrific.I keep telling her that it is great that this is all her problem is and that she doesnt have a terminal illness or anything.Afterall, she should be able to control her own life and not let this problem control her...am I right here or am I just an unsympathetic daughter.

You didn't state specifically why you mention this to your mother, but epilepsy and depression go hand in hand in many cases. Epilepsy medications can also cause erratic mood swings and depression. If she is irrational or moody/depressed, it might be a medical condition and her doctor(s) should be informed.

Epilepsy controls her life and ours.

This can happen when seizures are not controlled. The best solution is to control the seizures (easier said than done in some cases).

She doesnt have them every day- but for some reason Sunday seems to be a very usual day for her to have one.

Some people have very regular seizure patterns or very clear seizure triggers. Others are more erratic. If you aren't already, I highly recommend you start keeping a seizure diary. Write down when your mother has a seizure, what type it is and how long it lasts. Gradually you should start taking notes on what she is eating/drinking, her sleep schedule, etc. and you may start identify potential seizure triggers.

But then, how stressful can cooking dinner be?Is it stressful enough to bring on a seizure ?

Depends upon the individual and the circumstances/environment.

Now I am beginning to worry that she has a brain tumour combined with the epilepsy.Is this possible?

Yes, brain tumors can cause seizures. An MRI should identify if a tumor is present. Has she had one done? If it came back negative, then she most likely does not have a tumor.

We are all so drained.Every day there is something wrong with my mother.Sometimes I feel angry with her , I just want her to enjoy life instead of being miserable all of the time.I kniw its tough having epilepsy but surely it is not the end of the world.

I am so sorry this burden has fallen on your shoulders. It can be draining and you need to keep some perspective that you can only do your best and hope that it is good enough.

As noted above, epilepsy and depression can go hand in hand. Talk to her doctor if you think she might be clinically depressed. You might also investigate 5-htp and a good multi-vitamin for her.

I wonder sometimes if she takes her tablets correctly- how severe would the reaction be if she didnt?Would it be enough to bring on a petit mal absence seizure or a grande mal one?

Which medication(s) is she taking? In general, the answer is yes - missing one dose or pill can be enough to lower the blood-syrum level of the medication and allow seizures to occur. Most AEDs (anti-epileptic drugs) require a steady "therapeutic" blood-syrum level to be effective. They metabolize slowly in the body and do not work like aspirin.

Incidentally my mum has more absence seizures than she does grand mal ones.
Absence seizures typically happen a few times a week - maybe five... grand mal do not happen every week or every month but sporadically- although she has had three in the past month.

There was a time when Stacy (my wife) was having grand mal seizures every week. It was really scary. Her memory and ability to think straight was shot to hell (after effects that grew cumulatively with each seizure). Fortunately, it all comes back after seizures get back under control.

Point to you is that it could be much, much worse. Keep reading all the old posts in this forum. There is a wealth of information here. Feel free to ask questions anytime you like.

 

[Birdbomb]

Welcome citog

Even though you are on the outside looking in, you are experiancing this right along with her. I would suggest you find a support group in your area.

It's hard watching someone go through all these things. And you have the added burden of being the eldest. We know you are tying to do what is best for your mother.

Most people can get their seizures under control with medication, diet and/or life style changes. Keeping a diary can help you pinpoint the triggers and then you can build your defences with the knowlege of what it is that causes the seizures.

Cooking CAN be stressful and a trigger. The heat from the stove is enough to cause seizure. And if she is making a large meal for several people, it will be even hotter and more stressful. You may want to consider having someone else to the major cooking until she has better control. I have a friend who has put his hand in a pot of boiling sauce and another time poured a pot of boiling water all down his front! All during a seizure! Never even being aware he was doing these things.

Sometimes people are in denial about their conditions. Epilepsy is no difference. It's a difficult condition to live with because it can put so many restrictions on your life and it is so unpredictable.

Good luck to you, take Bernard's advice. He has some good ideas for you and your family. Hang it there. It DOES get better. Once you get past these hurdles, you will find a place for this and it won't be so stressful. Keep reading all you can. Knowlege is power and the more you know about epilepsy the better off you are.

This site is really helpful too http://www.epilepsy.com/epilepsy/resource_library.html

 

[citog]

Hello guys
Thank you so so much for taking the time to reply back to my post and for answering some of my questions and helping me realise that what I am going through with my mam is normal...well as normal as can be expected under the present circumstances.
She is going to hospital for a check-up next week and I took her to her GP who wrote a letter suggesting that it would be a good idea for her to have a MRI done.
It was interesting to see that the heat from the cooker and also the stress involved whilst cooking can be enough to trigger a seizure.It makes perfect sense and so explains the recurrent episodes whether petit or grand mal on Sundays.I guess I will just have a make a bigger effort here to help her cook dinner- not one of my strengths unfortunately...I constantly suggest we go out for dinner on Sunday but she is a creature of habit and prefers to cook dinner on that day.
And at least now I know that the whole depression thing goes hand in hand with epilepsy.Thank you, thank you, thank you.Iam so glad I found this site and I will indeed read the other posts.
Citog

 

[Bernard]

We're glad to help where we can.