Hi everyone, i hope you are all well as can be 
my name is Emmy and ive been suffering from grand mal/ tonic clonic seizures for 19 years now. in the past ive had all the cat scans, eeg's blood test, observations imaginable and been told i was putting them on, holding my breath to make myself pass out everything to say i didnt have epilepsy. then the doctors decided to say actually it is epilepsy. here take epilim. so i did and it didnt work. then they changed their minds again and said its not epilepsy but noxious stimuli caused by stress(now i was a kid when this supposed diagnosis was made and did not even know about it at the time) they said i would grow out of my 'fits' and to my pleasure it appeared i had. they slowly grew less and less frequent until at the age of 14 i dont remember having a fit in the day until i was 17 now i know that my seizures are always triggered by stress, they tend to happen about 16 hours after the stressful event ( altho as a child it could be anywhere from minutes to a day) anyhow, since i was 17 these fits have been at most once a year, there have even been periods where i have been seizure free for 2 years.
before a seizure i always get an 'aura' i get a strange sensation in my head which ive always called a 'fizzy' head, no NOT dizzy, more like the fizz of a bottle of cola fizzing up in my head. i get a bloody/ metallic taste in my mouth after a second or two i begin to feel queesy and light headed, i get extreemly hot and sweaty, go white as a sheep and feel claustrophobic. i cant bare to be touched. now in the past this was it i would know to lay down somewhere safe and then i would'go' have a tonic clonic seizure and when i came around after the room would be spinning and everyone would sound as if i was underwater and they were talking to me from above the water. i would also tend to loose control of my bladder at some point altho i dont remember if its during my fit or after. however last weekend i had my first tonic clonic in 2 years. ( a year ago i had an aura but managed to avoid the tonic clonic stage) i got all the same signs/ aura it was about to happen with the added symptom of excruciating lower abdominal pain before any other symptom which i have never experienced before. i went into full on tonic clonic seizure and when i came around i knew it had happened i vaguely remembered feeling like i was about to go and within a minute i lost control of my bowel (HOW EMBARRESSING!) after this it seemed to me that i recovered much quicker than i ever used to and i certainly slept a lot less. altho it did leave me feeling not quite right for 3 days after.
anyway the reason im writing all this is, that i am going to go back to the doctors next week to tell them about this, i want a proper diagnosis as upon seaching 'noxious stimuli' online it seems my inital thoughts (that, that is the term for stress factors) is indeed the case and that i have no diagnosis yet. i want to know what is casuing these episodes and how i can stop them.
does anyone else have anythign like this? know anyone that does?
its so frustrating having had this for so long and not knowing how or why.
could it be linked to my premature birth? ( i was for the time seriously premature, about 2months)
anyway, cant think what else to say now.
thanks for reading
Emmy

my name is Emmy and ive been suffering from grand mal/ tonic clonic seizures for 19 years now. in the past ive had all the cat scans, eeg's blood test, observations imaginable and been told i was putting them on, holding my breath to make myself pass out everything to say i didnt have epilepsy. then the doctors decided to say actually it is epilepsy. here take epilim. so i did and it didnt work. then they changed their minds again and said its not epilepsy but noxious stimuli caused by stress(now i was a kid when this supposed diagnosis was made and did not even know about it at the time) they said i would grow out of my 'fits' and to my pleasure it appeared i had. they slowly grew less and less frequent until at the age of 14 i dont remember having a fit in the day until i was 17 now i know that my seizures are always triggered by stress, they tend to happen about 16 hours after the stressful event ( altho as a child it could be anywhere from minutes to a day) anyhow, since i was 17 these fits have been at most once a year, there have even been periods where i have been seizure free for 2 years.
before a seizure i always get an 'aura' i get a strange sensation in my head which ive always called a 'fizzy' head, no NOT dizzy, more like the fizz of a bottle of cola fizzing up in my head. i get a bloody/ metallic taste in my mouth after a second or two i begin to feel queesy and light headed, i get extreemly hot and sweaty, go white as a sheep and feel claustrophobic. i cant bare to be touched. now in the past this was it i would know to lay down somewhere safe and then i would'go' have a tonic clonic seizure and when i came around after the room would be spinning and everyone would sound as if i was underwater and they were talking to me from above the water. i would also tend to loose control of my bladder at some point altho i dont remember if its during my fit or after. however last weekend i had my first tonic clonic in 2 years. ( a year ago i had an aura but managed to avoid the tonic clonic stage) i got all the same signs/ aura it was about to happen with the added symptom of excruciating lower abdominal pain before any other symptom which i have never experienced before. i went into full on tonic clonic seizure and when i came around i knew it had happened i vaguely remembered feeling like i was about to go and within a minute i lost control of my bowel (HOW EMBARRESSING!) after this it seemed to me that i recovered much quicker than i ever used to and i certainly slept a lot less. altho it did leave me feeling not quite right for 3 days after.
anyway the reason im writing all this is, that i am going to go back to the doctors next week to tell them about this, i want a proper diagnosis as upon seaching 'noxious stimuli' online it seems my inital thoughts (that, that is the term for stress factors) is indeed the case and that i have no diagnosis yet. i want to know what is casuing these episodes and how i can stop them.
does anyone else have anythign like this? know anyone that does?
its so frustrating having had this for so long and not knowing how or why.
could it be linked to my premature birth? ( i was for the time seriously premature, about 2months)
anyway, cant think what else to say now.
thanks for reading

Emmy