Seven years ago, I'd have tonic clonics all the time and my absence or simple partials (no idea which) meant I couldn't really handle a conversation. I would black out all the time and not know what I had been saying. I lived in another town with different friends than I have now and I guess they thought making light of it would be the best way to make me feel okay. So they'd joke every time they noticed a seizure and called me 'sparky' all the time. I would try my best to hide my absence seizures by continuing a conversation I really knew nothing about.
I eventually got control of my seizures and stayed pretty controlled for a good six years, with no tonic clonics and only a few absence seizures a week. i moved to a new town and got new friends. The night before last I woke up with the post ictal headache that is so familiar to me and, during the day, I felt the same way I used to feel after a tonic clonic. So it looks like things have declined very quickly. In the evening I went out with a friend and kept on blanking and forgetting what I was saying and he was saying. He's never seen me that way and was looking at me strangely. The odd thing is that, after I blanked, I would search and search for the last point in the conversation and start talking vaguely about something in the hope that I could hide the fact that I'd had a seizure, all in the knowledge that it was quite clear I was grabbing at threads. I would talk about things I didn't really care about just to cover up and, of course, not knowing how to carry on talking, it must have been obvious that something was off. He's my best friend and a wonderful friend, but I specifically hid the fact that I'd had a tonic clonic. He wouldn't joke about my epilepsy or judge me, so I don't understand why I try so hard to try to appear like a person who doesn't have epilepsy. Anyone do the same?
I eventually got control of my seizures and stayed pretty controlled for a good six years, with no tonic clonics and only a few absence seizures a week. i moved to a new town and got new friends. The night before last I woke up with the post ictal headache that is so familiar to me and, during the day, I felt the same way I used to feel after a tonic clonic. So it looks like things have declined very quickly. In the evening I went out with a friend and kept on blanking and forgetting what I was saying and he was saying. He's never seen me that way and was looking at me strangely. The odd thing is that, after I blanked, I would search and search for the last point in the conversation and start talking vaguely about something in the hope that I could hide the fact that I'd had a seizure, all in the knowledge that it was quite clear I was grabbing at threads. I would talk about things I didn't really care about just to cover up and, of course, not knowing how to carry on talking, it must have been obvious that something was off. He's my best friend and a wonderful friend, but I specifically hid the fact that I'd had a tonic clonic. He wouldn't joke about my epilepsy or judge me, so I don't understand why I try so hard to try to appear like a person who doesn't have epilepsy. Anyone do the same?
