i don't think they realize

[gr33nr0se]

this may not have much to do with epilepsy but i'm comfortable writing on this site.

personally, i think teaching hospitals are great, but the whole thing is very awkward. i don't think any of them realize how uncomfortable they make the patient. the other day i was at my rheumatologist, there was the attending rhuemy, her resident, the nurse practitioner, her student, my parents, and a psychiatrist from a lupus support group. i actually had to tell them to talk to me because it felt like i wasn't even there.

my neuro is not pediatric and i love it. i connect really well with her and she talks to ME not just my parents. turns out rhuematology is different, i need a peds rhuemy so i always feel kind of excluded from everything. and i know epilepsy is confusing, but try understanding lupus. no matter how much research i do, i can't get it and i don't even feel like its possible to explain. i don't know why this visit was so awkward either. when i was in the hospital over the summer, there were 6 residents and an attending surrounding my bed, but it was like they were more subtle and realized how uncomfortable i was.

my rhuemy is really smart and she saved me from staying on an extreme immuno suppressant when the other dr put me on it unnecissarily. i know she listens to me but i don't connect with her and i just feel awkward the whole time. i'm not sure what to do. i'm thinking i should just deal with it because she's a good dr, but its so uncomfortable.

 

[epileric]

I've had a few medical practitioners like that- GP's & neurologists where I really didn't connect with them but they did an excellent job.

As much as I love it when I feel I do connect with my practitioners It's always been most important to me that they know what they were doing & be able to help me with my health problems.

Even if I connect with them really well, if I can find someone who can help my health better I'll take that over the one I connect with.

 

[Nakamova]

I think it's a bonus if we can connect with our docs on a personal level and feel comfortable having a dialogue with them. But as Eric says, if they listen and know what they are doing, that's the most important. The rest is gravy.

That said, it can't hurt to speak to your rheumatologist directly about your discomfort level. She probably doesn't realize how she's making you feel, and might actually appreciate being nudged to be a better doctor. That's the best-case scenario. Worst case, she won't understand what you're talking about and/or gets a tad defensive.

 

[gr33nr0se]

thanks guys. i didn't really have a choice in the matter but its good to know its for the better

 

[travel bug]

personally, i think teaching hospitals are great, but the whole thing is very awkward. i don't think any of them realize how uncomfortable they make the patient. the other day i was at my rheumatologist, there was the attending rhuemy, her resident, the nurse practitioner, her student, my parents, and a psychiatrist from a lupus support group. i actually had to tell them to talk to me because it felt like i wasn't even there.

I definitely feel the same about being a "case study" for a bunch of interns and residents.:razz2: It's not just because you're young, they treat everyone that way Even doctors who are normally respectful, and even friendly, often become very brisk and cold when they are in teacher mode. When that happens, it makes me want to say, "Helloooo, you know I can hear you, don't you?"

In the few instances when I've dealt with a resident in an office situation, where there is just the one, I try to engage them directly. If they treat me with a little consideration, I try to give them a little positive reinforcement so maybe they will learn that it's worth it to treat the patient like a human being.

As for your rhuemy, I agree with Eric and Nakamova. And maybe the more you deal with her, the more of a connection you'll make. But in the mean time, you have confidence in her ability.

Take care

 

[Endless]

Gr33nr0se,

I agree. I put skill over people skills every time. But the thing is, a good doctor has to have both. They have to not only hear what you are saying but also really understand it. They have to be able to communicate in ways that are easy to understand. And that usually takes some kind of rapport or connection.

Think about letting her know about your discomfort with the posse in the room. Cut the number down to just you and your parents, and ask for your parent's help in having her ask you the questions and talk to you, not them.

Hang in there. Working together with the doctors is sometimes a challenge.

 

[drarvindr]

If the med students make you very uncomfortable you can tell your attending as it is your right to deny them. Ive noticed this happens a lot because ive been the med student and ive been admitted at a teaching hospital. their eyes look through you and you feel like you're at court and the attending is submitting you as exhibit 1A.
Unfortunately , this is how we learn medicine and there's no two ways about it. you can't sail a boat if you've never been at sea. All my experience in med school has been from patient rounds . The difference between good students and crap students (master yoda : there is no try) is that the former will take the time to take your history and examine you before rounds so you wont feel uncomfortable during the rounds.
Nowadays , especially in your part of the world where you run more tests than we do ( primarily because your labs CAN do those tests)and grand rounds are in a board room rather than on the wards, the daily rounds tend to go like:
Attending : Hello Mrs X how are you feeling today?
Patient: well , i've had ( insert complaint here)...
Attending (cutting patient short): Dr Y what is the differential for the symptoms she's experiencing?
Intern : Um...( gives shifty looks to his peers for answers)
(other interns scribbling furiously on their notepads and avoiding eye contact)
Attending : you're a moron Dr. Y . find a spoonful of water and drown yourself in it. For god's sake man, open a book!. Moving on... ( goes to the next patient).

Im really sorry you've had to suffer the indignities of my profession and apologize on the behalf of the idiots.
Sincerely,
Arvind
P.S. House , MD has it wrong - sometimes , it's lupus

 

[Aicila]

House? Wrong? Your insane and I don't think we can be friends no more...

 

[Endless]

Dr. Arvndr is right. You have the right to have whomever you want in your appointment. Or not have in your appointment. If you don't feel comfortable asking your doctor for this then ask your parents to call his or her office in advance and make that request, plus a request that the doctor talk directly to YOU, not mainly to your parents. Then it'll be just you and your parents, and you'll be treated like the young adult that you are.

 

[gr33nr0se]

i do feel kinda like a guinea pig but i also think the oonly way for there to be future drs is by letting them in, so i think i'll deal with it.

drarvindr, i think its never lupus because as complicated as it is, lupus is too easy for house. haha. i'm glad we get the input of an epileptic dr on this sight, it makes things more reliable and understandeable on both sides.