I want to marry a guy with epilepsy

tini

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We fought today over me thinking hard on epilepsy:(
He is still very patient listening to all my fears and thoughts. I told him that I am worried because first my parents are not agreeing to this marriage and secondly I have a fear how his medicines will affect him in the long run. I have not seen any patient with epilepsy and so I don't know how would I be able to take care of him if he ever get a seizure. Will b afraid? I have no clue....never thought about it as its been only six months that I know this guy. He is full of life and very focussed towards his career. He talks about his professional growth and dreams big. He has huge aspirations and wants to fulfill them all. I seem dead infront of him.
 

skillefer

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Tini, part of being a couple is being able to talk. Keeping the lines of communication open. There's no way to know how you will react to something before it ever happens. My suggestion would be to get first aid training.

Also, why are your parents against your marriage? That's something to seriously think about. Have you two talked about finances, kids, future goals, if you had kids how would you discipline them? All these things should be discussed. Also, you should discuss who is a spender, who is a saver, who will you spend holidays with? As much as you may want to think that you two can just cuddle up together and not be effected by your families, that's not really true. Trust me, I'm speaking from experience. How do you argue? When you disagree, are your arguments filled with personal attacks? Ot the words "you always...." or "you never...." Does one person have to be in charge or get their way? These are all things you need to consider, that in my opinion are far more likely to destroy a marriage than epilepsy. Feel free to PM me if you need. I hope this helped.
 

Bernard

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... I told him that I am worried because first my parents are not agreeing to this marriage and secondly I have a fear how his medicines will affect him in the long run. I have not seen any patient with epilepsy and so I don't know how would I be able to take care of him if he ever get a seizure. Will b afraid? I have no clue....never thought about it as its been only six months that I know this guy. ... I seem dead infront of him.
No offense, but it seems to me that you are using epilepsy as a reason/excuse to distance yourself from him. If you were truly in love with him and ready for marriage, epilepsy would not be an issue. I think you need to be honest with yourself.
 

Lil 1

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No offense, but it seems to me that you are using epilepsy as a reason/excuse to distance yourself from him. If you were truly in love with him and ready for marriage, epilepsy would not be an issue. I think you need to be honest with yourself.
I get the same impression. I could be totally wrong - it is so hard to tell on a forum because you can not get tone of voice or facial expressions. If this is true I hope you can be honest with him about the real reasons so that he doesn't get a 'complex' about his epilepsy.

Are your parents against the marriage because of the epilepsy or another reason?

Good luck and I hope all works out for both you and him either way.
 

Shelley

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just kidding

....my wife Renee wouldn't say it's been easy....but I'm pretty sure she'll keep me?
:ponder:.......

............Renee?........

................REN????!!?!?!?!?!?!:paperbag:

Just kidding, she's still here.....(I think?)

Best Wishes,
Speber
:rock:
No dude,
She ran to my house.
Your too quiet!
jk
Shelley
 

Shelley

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divorce stinks

:hello: Tini

I was born with Epilepsy, and was married for
nearly 24 years before the divorce came to being
which was unfortunate. I've been divorced for
quite awhile now, and I do have a son who's
engaged, who is 24. So we've been through it
all. So sure, if you have a great friendship, and
have a lot in common, and hold each other dearly
as well as loving each other - WHY NOT?

Who says you can't and what is stopping you
or holding you down?

Life is short - ENJOY IT!

:tup:
I was too young to get married.
Other than that, my ex-husband also has 'e'.
I thought I was in love. We knew each other for only six months.
Like I said, it was a nasty divorce and 30+years ago.
BTW, I was found to be an "incompetent" mother because of my 'e'.
Shelley
 
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I do think this: my epilepsy is PART OF ME. Not the best part, not the worst, but part of me, I did not wanted, but I did not wanted also many other thing of me. If a woman loves me, loves me like I am, with my problems, and try to accept the part of me that create difficulties. Your parents F*, if you love him, but non only now, always. My wife try this but she was too near to her parents and father, he do not like me, but in the end my wife decide. She made a choice, her family, her father, not problems but always a financial help too, I was left. But i would like she decided this BEFORE wedding, not after we had a child.
 
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to Shelley: ah, i was doubted to be a DANGEROUS father because of my epilepsy for about one years an a half before a doctor said he was not true and judge believed him. Not a good experience, I'm very sorry for you, really.
 
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