I was hoping to get opinions from others with epilepsy

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gbpackerfan

gbpackerfan

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I've posted on here before, but it's been a while. I'll try to sum up my issues and move on. I had a depressed skull fracture at 10 months old from falling and hitting my head. I started having tonic-clinic seizures in my sleep at about 18-19. I go through severe post-ictal confusion and amnesia. I have memory and cognitive issues along with severe depression. I am now 34, I have struggled with medical bills, relationships, jobs, school, etc. in the last couple years I have been leaving my house and wandering the streets of Tucson after having seizures, with no memory of what happened or anything. I've been picked up by the cops, punched in the face by a neighbor for trying to enter his house at 3 am, walked into traffic, etc. I had my license taken away for six months, had to move in with my older brother because of my "sleepwalking", and have gone through months of severe side effects while trying to find an E med that works for me, to no avail as of yet. I'm trying to get some form of state assistance or SS help, but have not been approved yet.

So, it's easy to say that I'm having a lot of issues because of my skull fracture and brain damage. I had been able to hold down a job until about 8 months ago, now it is near impossible for me without a license and with 2-3 doctors appointments a week. With all the issues I've been having, my mother came forward and told me that I had not been told the truth about how my head was injured. Apparently, my father came home drunk one night, they got in a fight and my dad threw a small hot wheels car at my mom, which subsequently fractured my skull. My father was sober for close to 30 years, raised me well and was a good role model, I love my father. He has since fallen off the wagon and moved to Mexico and only makes contact about once every six months. I have asked him in the past for help with medical bills and he has refused. My father is a multi-millionaire, has purchased homes and cars for my older brother and younger sister, but has always insisted that I make it on my own.

In light of everything going on in my life and finding out that my father caused my injuries, I am contemplating suing my father for personal injury. There are many reasons why I would do this and many reasons why I have not done this yet. Any opinions, insight or thoughts would be appreciated.

Thanks
 
That's a tough situation all around. I'm not sure if there is a statute of limitations on something like this. It's been ~15 years since the injury occurred?

Assuming there isn't a statute of limitations, do you have any evidence to support your mother's claim? You should talk to a lawyer about the feasibility of a lawsuit. A lawyer should be able to give you some guidance on whether or not you have a winnable case.
 
Hi Bernard. Actually, this happened almost 34 years ago, I'm 34 and this happened when I was 10 months old. I spoke to my father about it and he admitted it. I have spoken to a lawyer, state of AZ has a two year limit after age of 18 to file a lawsuit. There is an exception called the "Discovery Rule" that gives a person 2 years from the date of discovery of truth or discovery of the fact that person had cause to file a claim. Many family members are willing to testify that I was never informed until March of 2015. I have medical records, child safety reports from the incidence, years of medical records and treatments with an MRI and EEG linking my epilepsy and other problems to my brain damage. Lawyers have told me that it is a slam dunk case, worth 10-20 million, not including punitive damages because alcohol was involved that could be up to 10 times the judgement amount. I am having a very hard time deciding what to do. Besides the fact that I have been suffering from epilepsy for 15 years with a handful of other issues that are directly related, I have a 9 year old son and a 12 year old daughter that I need to take care of. I am not a greedy or spiteful person, to be truthful, it is family members that have brought up the lawsuit. None of them are looking for any kind of payout, neither am I. What I am faced with is a large amount of health problems that have affected both myself as well as my kids. I feel like I would be a horrible person for suing my father, at the same time I feel like my father is a horrible person for doing this to me and while he's had the money to help me in the past but has refused. I am a proud man, have worked my ass off to overcome many obstacles in my life but I have to be honest, my life is currently a wreck because of my health issues.
 
Bernard, I wasn't looking for any kind of legal advice from anyone on here, more just opinions on whether or not I should file the claim. I have friends and family to ask also, but none of them have any idea of what type of impact epilepsy has on a persons life. I have seizures in my sleep, and do some really weird stuff afterwards. One of my biggest fears is sleep and having to sleep in other places. I have not left Tucson overnight in over 5 years. When I had gone somewhere before, it was always with a friend or family member and I was still terrified. In the past 15 years, I've left jobs because they required overnight stays out of town or abrupt shift changes. I have had a few good women walk out of my life because I haven't wanted to sleep in the same bed, after my ex wife left me because she couldn't handle my seizures... What I'm getting at, is I don't think anyone else could relate to my situation other than another person with epilepsy. I know that no one here is in my shoes, but do you think it would be spiteful for me to proceed with a lawsuit or is it justified with the circumstances?
 
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From what you have written, it sounds like you would not be contemplating the lawsuit if you were receiving enough assistance (whether from the state, family or community) to handle your bills. I believe that you are not motivated by greed or spite.

If your father is responsible for your troubles, and not willing to face the responsibility voluntarily, I wouldn't fault you for seeking some justice / restitution. It sounds like you only have a year or so left to act.
 
Speaking only from my heart, I say DO IT! And as Bernard points out, you need to hurry it up! My very best to you!
 
Bernard, Bidwell and Pinkattitude, thank you for your responses. I realized beforehand that this is a very sticky subject and I would not receive very many replies. Every one of my friends or family that I have spoken to about this has given me the same response.
 
:agree:

Especially since you say he is a wealthy person, he has admitted what he did but he has refused to help make it right.

Not that any amount of money would ever "make it right" but I am thinking about your children. They shouldn't have to bear the burden of something two generations back.

And BTW, I totally *get it * about the weird post ictal "sleep walking". I have nocturnal seizures too and have woken up in some strange places.
 
If it were me I would absolutely sue. I understand there are emotional reasons for not wanting to sue your father, that is wrought with difficult emotions, so it's a decision anyone would have to make for themselves. If it were my decision though I would absolutely do it. He is refusing to pay for a medical condition HE caused--probably because he feels guilty and wants to refuse his own blame in his own mind. That doesn't erase your medical bills. Making him pay would help you, and in some strange way, would force him to own up to and atone for his own responsibility. The impact this has had on your life is extreme--and the fact that he is supporting other children but not you who needs it the most must surely cause anger, possibly when it's too late to do anything about it. More than likely, if you filed suit, he would come to terms with you before it got to the courtroom. That's my thought anyway. You could always consider engaging a lawyer to send him a letter, from the lawyer, saying that he needs to start paying the bills and agree to a monthly payment, or you will file suit--and that may avoid the suit altogether.
 
Thank you Alohabird and Lindsayschu2 for your replies. There definitely are a lot of emotions. I always questioned why he helped my siblings so much more than me but it has led me to be a better person.
 
Lindsay hit it on the head (har) twice IMO.

1) He is avoiding dealing with you because he feels guilty.
2) If you got a credible lawyer to serve him with a well written threat of a lawsuit, he would most likely settle before it ever came to that. He did not get to be a wealthy person by being stupid with his finances.
 
Its a very sad situation and I think your Father has to be responsible for his actions.

He needs to man up.

All the best
gppackerfan
 
Welcome to CWE. This forum was made out of love by Bernard for his wife Stacy. That love permeates throughout the whole forum.

The final decision is up to you. Have you thought about the violence today? Is he violent enough that he would take it out on you? People are shooting people for no reason.

Just think about it. Find out what the laws are in a situation like this in AZ. Talk to an attorney before you make up your mind.

I am glad that you came back to us. Lets drink some :cheers:
 
Thank you all very much for your input and your compassion in this sensitive matter. Ruth, my father is a violent drunk but a good person when he is sober. He raised me right, taught me discipline, compassion for others, and many other life lessons that carry on through my children. My mother and him split up about 5 years ago and he was already working in Mexico, but he basically fell off the wagon and stayed down there. I am not afraid of him being violent towards me over this. I have sent him lengthy emails, calls, text messages, etc. I have been trying to get him up to Tucson so that we can talk face to face about this as I feel I need to. He has been to Tucson about 5 times in the past couple of months but consistently avoids me and he knows that I want to have a man to man talk with him. I have spoken to a lawyer in Tucson and one in Mexico City. I have until March of 2017 to file suit. This whole thing has me completely overwhelmed since I found out in March. Every one of my family members and friends that I've asked about this has told me to get a lawyer and proceed. I assumed that they all had too many personal feelings involved and that was swaying their judgment but with the every one of you great people telling me the same, I see that I have a choice to make. Having honest opinions from people that have no personal feelings towards my father other than knowing the facts of the matter, and can understand how drastically this head/brain injury has changed my life, it gives me a lot more of what I need to make up my mind. Thank you all so very much.
 
If you can talk to your father, I would recommend that first.

When he gets drunk, will he act violently towards you again?

You have to make the final decision. Don't let other's push you into a decision that you will be sorry for.

If I was in a situation like yours, I would just walk away and go on with my life. I would not want my father to know where I lived. I would be afraid of him.

If you win and make him responsible, will you get a lot of money? Don't let money be the motivating factor in your decision.
 
If you have an attorney in your family I would advise talking to that person., To find out what you can do legally.I have two attorneys in my family.
 
gbpackerfan,

As you have posted and I have read, it occurs to me that one more reason for you to move on taking action as soon as possible might be for the sake of your father as well as for your own sake. He is an alcoholic and in a deluded state that he himself might renounce if he were in his right mind. Possibly you taking legal action against him might in fact bring him to a point of sanity and even reconciliation before it is too late. In any case, for your sake, I hope you act. My best, bid well
 
gbpackerfan,

Do you know if you father is actively /currently following a 12 step program?
His sponsor and peers would definitely encourage him to "make amends" for his actions.
 
I have tried speaking to him and sending emails and messaging. I have told him that I need help but I have not told him that I'm thinking of seeking legal action. I am 4 inches taller than him and 60lbs heavier, he has never been violent towards me other than this incident that happened nearly 35 years ago. I do not go around him when he is drunk, but I am not fearful that he would turn to violence. I am fully aware of my legal rights in this situation as I have spoken to 3 different lawyers in Tucson about this and one in Mexico City. I am the one who has to make this decision, nobody else. I was just looking for some unbiased opinions. I am not a greedy person but if my other posts on this thread have not been read, money is my motivating factor. I'm not motivated to lead a life of luxury, just a life in which I can support myself and my kids. Bidwell, thank you. There are many factors in this situation that point out, time is of the essence.
 
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