I was hoping to get opinions from others with epilepsy

[gbpackerfan]

Alohabird, he is not in any form of treatment, as he does not believe he has a problem. Both of my siblings as well as myself have tried telling him about his drinking and he is in denial.

 

[AlohaBird]

Alohabird, he is not in any form of treatment, as he does not believe he has a problem. Both of my siblings as well as myself have tried telling him about his drinking and he is in denial.

That's unfortunate as he may be in denial about lots of things.
This may make the process of seeking reparations more confrontational but I still think it is worth doing.
But, as I'm sure you know, nobody said it was going to be easy. I think keeping your children in mind as your motivator is a good plan. I wish you well. Let us know how things turn out.

 

[Ruth]

I am sorry if I made it sound like money was the motivating factor. I was just asking to know more about the situation that you are in. I wanted to know how you are feeling.

Keep us up to date with your decision and how things are working out.

I really do care for you.

 

[Emerald]

I am so sorry that you have to go through this gbpackerfan! I can't imagine what that must feel like to know that you father is responsible for your epilepsy! All I would say is:
1: pray about the situation
2: decide what you think is best for the kids and if you want, ask them! Kids have a way of thinking about things that I don't think adults do.
3: try to have a heart to heart with your father and work something out. If that doesn't work, you should probably take him to court. I know that will be hard, but you have a family to support.

 

[masterjen]

I have told him that I need help but I have not told him that I'm thinking of seeking legal action.

Although this man has done what sound like some terrible things to you, he is still your father and I think he has the right to know well ahead of time that you are considering legal action against him. You could consider starting with just a one-on-one discussion with him about your intentions and why you are suing him. Then follow-up with an official letter drawn up with the help of your lawyer or other legal counsel restating your purpose for suing him and why you think he owes you financial assistance. It is also quite possible that he will want to avoid the expense of hiring his own lawyer and settle with you out of court. But you won't be giving the possibility of this occurrence much of a chance unless you are open with him about your thoughts and intentions.

 

[gbpackerfan]

Ruth, Emerald and Masterjen, thank you. I have desperately been trying to get my father to come and have a talk with me in person about this. The last thing that I want to do is take my own father to court over this. The reason why I want to talk to him is to try to figure this out between us, with no lawyers or court. If we cannot do that, my plan is to have a lawyer send him a letter to attempt to resolve it without a lawsuit. My last choice would be a lawsuit, if he is not receptive to these other efforts. There are so many other pieces to this puzzle that it is hard to put together. I have told my father about all the issues I've been having and how it has changed my life. His response was to give me $250 with a long list of strings attached, he then gave my older brother a check for $10k right in front of me. It was a slap in the face. Of the few times he has been to Tucson since I found this out and told him, he has not given me five minutes. I don't feel that this is a good conversation to have in front of my brother or five year old nephew, or everyone inside of Starbucks. Part of my frustration is that I feel that this is a big deal and he should be able to put other things aside and make time for this conversation but he will not. He has been to Tucson several times to meet with business partners and to have his $65k truck serviced but will not even give me five minutes. He was telling me that he is about to drop another $25k in to his personal plane to have the instruments upgraded. He sends me pictures of gold nuggets from his gold mine in Mexico, brags about his 19 year old girlfriend that he is supporting through college.... These are just a couple of things that add to my frustration. I hope I don't sound like a jealous child, but I know he has an excess of money but refuses to help me. These are some of the reasons why I am thinking of a lawsuit

 

[Emerald]

That's a good plan gbpackerfan! Good luck and I hope everything turns out.

 

[N Sperlo]

Hey ggbpackerfan,

Judging from what I've read, you need money to get by. Your father's actions are directly the reason for your suffering and by suing, you would be taken care of for sure. Without suing, even if your father does help you financially, there is no guarantee he would continue to do so.

Sue.

 

[gbpackerfan]

So, I had a conversation with my father. He came to Tucson last Tuesday, the 4th. It did not go exactly as planned. There was no violence involved. He put me on his phone plan a couple weeks ago, he had my data plan cut down to 1gb/month the day after our talk. He gave me $300 which is what he had on him and told me he would wire me more money. My kids started school last Thursday and my son's 10th bday was yesterday. I asked him if I could depend on him to send more money, because I was going to spend the $300 on school stuff and would need to get more $ for my sons bday, he said he would, never happened. He said he did not want a lawsuit or lawyers involved and said he wanted to work this out between us. I've spoken to him a couple of times since he went back to Mexico on Tuesday. He keeps giving me some BS about waiting for a deposit from his partners... I feel better that I spoke to him in person. I was able to sell/pawn a few things to make my son's bday and get school stuff for both of them. Now I'm back to finding the right lawyer for the job.
Thank you all very much for your care and your opinions, it really means a lot to me.

 

[gbpackerfan]

Thank you all for the support. I got some help from my brother today. He took a couple of days off of work to help me take care of some stuff. I am now getting food stamps and I already have my card. I also have an appointment with Social Security on the 20th. I will be meeting with a lawyer on Monday as well. Since I last posted, I have met with a psych-therapist and I will be going to weekly therapy individually and I have a couple of group therapy meetings that I will also be attending. I have also called the city housing department, just to get in that system with hopes that I can get my seizures under control and get my own place again. Thank you all so very much. I had very high expectations for my father. I am past that part of things. I love him and always will. I also want to keep a relationship with him but that is his choice at this point. I am now taking Prozac, was on Paxil and I feel so much better. I am fully aware of this situation but I am not letting it consume me. I will play out the cards that I was dealt, go through whatever amicable process that I can and if worse comes to worse, I will sue my father. I am obviously not in immediate control of how this situation will play out, I will just hope for the best and go through the steps.
Having all of you here for me to talk to, ask questions and get raw, honest, insightful and experienced answers, advice and suggestions has made this situation bearable for me.
Thank all of you
Dan

 

[Bidwell]

Dan, It is so good to hear that you are on the move and that you are taking care of yourself in ways that are bound to help the future for you and your children. You are one brave man!

 

[seagull]

there is something called alterd state of consiusness I think it temporal thing...I had it myself 30yrs ago I was also under great stress..it could be allugmation of stress depression and epilepsy sound like you need another eeg.
the parent bit I understand my mother belted me but I was told it never be proved if her imput had anything to do with it.My mother also worth millians and she would watch me starve than help

 

[Emerald]

Dan, I'm sorry that you have to go through this, but it sounds like you have a handle on things! Best of luck!

Emerald