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why I have E...and if I still actually do...or if I have something else that is being disguised as E...my E was never really given an exact cause...other than someone not in my immediate family has a different form of it...that and the fact that I have an arachnoid cyst in my right temporal lobe (which was just dismissed as coincidence and not having any direct "influence" on my E)...
I've been taking Depakote for 15 years now and am kind of frustrated (okay...honestly I feel like The Tasmanian Devil) of the thought that I'm going to have to take this for the rest of my life...It's amazing how much of an illusion time is...it seems just like yesterday when I was diagnosed with E and 5 years after that I gave the thought of trying to get off the Depakote but that somehow just faded away into nothing and I gradually declined over the years becoming more and more enraged at life and god and the universe and pretty much everything in general...it all started to spiral down into a cold dark oblivion...an abyssal void of internal torment...I started experiencing more and more disturbing things...things like vivid nightmares and night terrors...my perception of reality became permanently distorted as I sank quicker and quicker into a schizophrenic soup of mental maelstrom...yet I am somehow able to retain a lucid memory and optimistic view of things...not to mention behave in a calm and rational manner...I think it's because about 8 years ago I started to be pulled into a different direction...a spiritual one I believe as I have this heightened sense of awareness and desire...and I always reflect on that as I am constantly reminded that deep within I know the truth and my reason for being here...you never exist...you always live...don't trust your senses...look beyond the illusions...embrace the unknown and reach for eternity...follow your heart and find your destiny...
Sure some days are dark...but without that darkness there would be no reason for our lights to shine...only the weak give up...the strong would rather walk through the fire than constantly around it...but to each of us that means something entirely different...whatever that thing may be we all have to figure it out for ourselves...or should I say become aware of what is already there...and to accept that awareness and learn to use it to your advantage as a weapon and a tool...some say that knowledge is power...but those that believe that don't realize that knowledge is a flawed design...an unstable concept...meaning that there is no definite amount or exact meaning...
The only real vision comes from the eye of the beholder...when you close your eyes and slip away into etheric realms what do you really see? The subconscious minds image of the back of the eyelids or a reality known but not physically seen??? Think about it...nothing is real unless you want it to be however everything is a bag of mixed seeds...we may not want what we get but we always get what we need...
The answer is the ability to ask countless questions...a gift cleverly wrapped within a curse...an invisible barrier to set us all free
I've been taking Depakote for 15 years now and am kind of frustrated (okay...honestly I feel like The Tasmanian Devil) of the thought that I'm going to have to take this for the rest of my life...It's amazing how much of an illusion time is...it seems just like yesterday when I was diagnosed with E and 5 years after that I gave the thought of trying to get off the Depakote but that somehow just faded away into nothing and I gradually declined over the years becoming more and more enraged at life and god and the universe and pretty much everything in general...it all started to spiral down into a cold dark oblivion...an abyssal void of internal torment...I started experiencing more and more disturbing things...things like vivid nightmares and night terrors...my perception of reality became permanently distorted as I sank quicker and quicker into a schizophrenic soup of mental maelstrom...yet I am somehow able to retain a lucid memory and optimistic view of things...not to mention behave in a calm and rational manner...I think it's because about 8 years ago I started to be pulled into a different direction...a spiritual one I believe as I have this heightened sense of awareness and desire...and I always reflect on that as I am constantly reminded that deep within I know the truth and my reason for being here...you never exist...you always live...don't trust your senses...look beyond the illusions...embrace the unknown and reach for eternity...follow your heart and find your destiny...
Sure some days are dark...but without that darkness there would be no reason for our lights to shine...only the weak give up...the strong would rather walk through the fire than constantly around it...but to each of us that means something entirely different...whatever that thing may be we all have to figure it out for ourselves...or should I say become aware of what is already there...and to accept that awareness and learn to use it to your advantage as a weapon and a tool...some say that knowledge is power...but those that believe that don't realize that knowledge is a flawed design...an unstable concept...meaning that there is no definite amount or exact meaning...
The only real vision comes from the eye of the beholder...when you close your eyes and slip away into etheric realms what do you really see? The subconscious minds image of the back of the eyelids or a reality known but not physically seen??? Think about it...nothing is real unless you want it to be however everything is a bag of mixed seeds...we may not want what we get but we always get what we need...
The answer is the ability to ask countless questions...a gift cleverly wrapped within a curse...an invisible barrier to set us all free
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