is something wrong with this boy ?

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vapour

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Hey, just a post on something thats been intruiging me, almost concering me.

Right now Im living with a family from church I have been friends with for about 2 years.

They have 2 kids, one is almost 5, the other is 2. This post is regarding the 5 year old boy.

I know at birth there were some complications and he was in the ICU for a while and needed a breathing tube etc.

As he has been growing older here are some things that has been going on:

1)Will barely eat any grown up food, took him along time to wean off babyfood, now really will only eat macaroni cheese.

2)did not really start talking until perhaps 8 months ago...

3)I remember about 2 years ago (he was 3) we were in childrens church and when the teacher held up pictures of facial expressions ex . happy... sad..and they were asked what they were.. he looked very blank and did not know

4) he is still in diapers.. mainly at night now. There is a huge ordeal when he has to use the bathroom, he holds it in all day and refuses to go...he will cry and kick up a fuss about using the bathroom

5)He seems to have sensory issues. There was a huge deal this morning when his mom put on a pair of pants and he kept crying saying they "arent soft"

6) now, I know at this age the kids will start to play with themselves.. discover this.. (I think) but he fondles with himself pretty much all the time. This morning after the ordeal with the toilet and hte pants, he went to his room to play with himself... when his sister opened the door he got very angry.. went to try and find another empty room.. his mom said no...


So anyway, these are the basic things Ive noticed. I do not have kids myself, so I may be wrong, but I know his grandparents were very concerned regarding talking.. walking... being delayed...and wondering if he is autistic. They say they food thing and dislike for solid food was because he did not like it due to having a breathing tube at birth.

He also loves other types of stimulation. Before he could walk, he would get up on the trampoline in the yard and sit on it... his cousins would make him bounce.. and he would literally do that for hours if he could.

Wondering what you guys think ? I am starting to get a little worried, I know he just started preschool and I think now some bullying is just starting... so wondering if the other kids have picked up on something ?
 
This sounds like autism, and vaguley sounds like Jouberts syndrome. but high functioning
 
My oldest grandchild has a mild form of autism called 'persuasive behavioral disorder'. She is 10 now and you can hardly tell she has any issues now, but when she was younger she had a lot of issues.

A lot of the symptoms you describe sound like my granddaughter. She still is a very picky eater. The diaper issue, certain sensitivities, lack of speech all sound very familiar. One of her big items was repeating her play. She could sing the same song 20 times in a row or like you said bounce for hours.

I hope they can get some help for this little boy. My granddaughter's problems started at the age of two. Within the year she was in intensive education intervention which made a huge difference.

Speak to the grandparents if you wish and let them approach the parents. With your situation, it could be very hard for you to bring up the issue.
 
As an early childhood educator, I can say that there are many degrees of disability that fall along the "autism spectrum". These range from simple ADHD and sensory integration issues to pervasive developmental disorder to asperger's syndrome to full-blown autism with other varying degrees in between. Birth trauma, including oxygen deprivation, can raise the likelihood of a child developing these disorders. A public preschool should be equipped to deal with whatever issues this child has by offering support from OT, PT, SLP and other developmental specialists. Hopefully, his issues will turn out to be mild and he is getting the support and help he needs.
 
Does he

do other things repetitively, like draw maps? Or look at maps? Build specific things with Legos (or similar things) over and over again? Does he spend a lot of time in his room, by himself--will he ALLOW himself to be integrated into a social setting easily?

Honestly? I have to agree with the others--it really sounds like autism. To what degree, that's another issue.

If he just started talking, that eliminates Asperger's, as they start talking early.

Does he have a hearing problem? This is also something to consider. My youngest son is almost completely deaf, and labelled PDDNOS ONLY because he's almost deaf. He couldn't speak early, because he couldn't hear himself to do it, but was signing and using other forms of communication instead. He's actually an Asperger's child who's almost deaf. My son couldn't hear himself until he'd had 4 sets of tubes and some reconstructive surgery, so he talked very late--4 1/2 years.

On the up side, it IS possible for kids like this to succeed. My son is proof of this. He's in college right now, and made the Dean's list, last spring. There is another person on here who has a child with Asperger's......

I wish you luck with this one.....

Meetz
:rock:
 
A medical evaluation would be the best way to get a sense of what's going on. He may indeed have mild autism, or a tendency toward hypersensitivity, or something else entirely may be going on. A professional diagnosis would be the first step, and then hopefully therapy as appropriate. Early intervention can be key, so it's worth bringing up with the parents.
 
I was going to say autism as well. Have the parents not noticed anything unusual about his behavior? Surely they've done something by now?
 
He is not deaf....they did do hearing tests. His parents are totally in denial, people have spoken to them about this before when he didnt start talking...

I will have to watch him play if he does things over and over.. right now...all it seems to be is playing with himself. This morning after the whole ordeal of not using the bathroom,..freaking out about the pants he was wearing... he went to be alone in his bedroom so he could touch himself. When his sister opened the door he got extremly angry and went to another empty room. His mom did not let him, she tells him "no touching"...but when he came home from pre-school he started again.

He only just started pre-school... so Im hoping they catch on, perhaps if someone outside the family says something... they might not go into denial so much. (i really do think they are in denial)
 
It sounds

as if they are.........has their pediatrician said anything to them, or do you know?
 
Right now they have no insurance, so if they need to see a Dr they go to county ER and get an out-patient app, or they go to a walk in clinic... basically.. those things are good for ear infections and such...

They are now in the process of getting medical again....she does not work (full time mom) and her hubby is a school teacher in the process of his masters in teaching, he is a sub.. so no benefits there (yet)

I think that probably when they get the medicaid...well..hopefully..they will take him to a Dr. When they get it...I might very nicely... by beating around the bush try and suggest it.... or I can talk to their grandma who is like family to me... and perhaps suggest she say something again.

*crosses fingers.
 
If this boy is 5, the public school system should provide services at no cost to the family. They need to call their public school system and ask them what the process is for getting their son services through the school district. Unless CA is way different than KS, it's actually required by law to offer services to special needs children once they have turned 3. They should be able to provide SLP, OT, PT and developmental services.
 
I agree that there is probably free help for him. Each state is different, but in Ohio the county was required to help my granddaughter before she turned 3. I don't think my duaghter ever had to pay for the therapies. The diagnosis by a doctor did cost them dearly, but was worth it.

My granddaughter was ahead in development at the age of two. Then she went backwards for an entire year, losing the ability to speak, unable to control emotions, frustrated, and hurting herself (hitting her head on the floor). With dedicated teachers/therapists she is almost normal now. She made the honor roll this term (4th grade).

I would suggest speaking with the grandmother. From what you have told us, it sounds like she is the best approach. If not, the schools will pick up on this very quickly.

Good Luck.
 
thats great... he is not quite 5 ... but almost i believe (not sure when his b day is)

I am going to speak with his grandma this weekend and let her know this...then perhaps he can go for some testing or something.

I really do actually believe that they believe... nothing is wrong...because these kids are well looked after and they are good parents... so it totally must be denial or perhaps they are oblivious.. he was their first son.

I am not sure if the school has suspected anything.... they may totally be oblivious to the potty thing.. because he holds it in all day.. so he wont kick up a fuss there... and they probably dont know he only started speaking not long ago....perhaps they might pick up on other things I havnt... (im no way an expert in these things, and have no kids)

I looked up Autism online but he doesnt appear to have the symptoms that bad....

Oh and btw.. I was thinking about hte toy thing... and I remmeber a few weeks ago when I spoke to his grandma .. she said he loves anything that spins and will watch it and watch it over and over... and apparently he lets his cousins spin him around in circles all the time and thats all he wants them to do.... so yes .. there is some of that.
 
It is so incredibly hard as a parent to admit to yourself that your child is not perfect.
 
I have

to agree......when we went through this with our youngest one, it was really rough. It still is.
 
It is very difficult, no doubt. And remember, Vapour, there are varying degrees along the "Autism spectrum disorder" continuum that range from very mild to very severe. So, while he may not have full-blown autism, he could still be in need of help.
I hope they will pursue contacting their public school system.
 
This mom has recovered her children from many of the issues you speak of with her own three children. Now she helps others:

www.danasview.net

There are some wonderful support groups online, expecially in yahoo groups. I have an adult son that has aspergers (a high functioning form of autism) and Rebecca did not talk on schedule. There are ways to improve the quality of life for this child. The parents just need to engage and ask for help. I believe it can be done without insurance. Many are.

It is nice of you to be sensitive to this childs needs.
 
I've heard of movies for kids that have play trains which have facial expressions. They fascinate kids with autism and help them learn how to read other people's feelings. It must hit a section of the brain that literally picks up on information, visual recognition and he can watch it over and over (with or without sound).

If I find out who makes them I'll PM you.
 
2 of my 3 children have ASD. My 11 yr old daughter is doing ok, but she still has problems with friendships as she doesn't understand the nuances of social interaction, she can't read others emotions. This sounds very much like the problems have with my ASD child who is almost 6. his obsession is lining all his toys up 'just so', and he does get hyperstimulated by the environment around him. I've found a small MP3 player with white noise stored on it to be very helpful. I was never in denial, I have a lot of autistic spectrum disorder in my family, my younger brother is Aspergers and so is my maternal uncle. It never helps your children to get the help they need to reach their potential if you don't accept that there is a problem to be faced. I think the grandmother may need to be spoken to, so that she may broach the subject with the parents. There are also lots of resources available online, often free or for a very low cost. With someone with higher functioning autism, the best thing you can give them is your time and energy. When my daughter was 7 months old I was told by doctors that she would never walk or talk. She couldn't read simple 3 letter words til she was over 8 yrs old. With help, her reading age is now only 18 months behind, her comprehension is about 3-4 yrs behind and her maths skills are about 5 yrs behind. Right now we are working on expression recognition pictures, I downloaded photos of people with different facial expressions, and she has to try to tell me what the person in the picture is feeling.
 
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