Is this manipulation?

[Athena22]

So as I have come to address my current issue of living conditions
eg 1. My family having to drive me to & fro
2. The now constant "are you ok?"
3. date, dont date, wait are you a lesbian? delete your fb now.
4. My family members constant battle with drugs, alcohol, & a child. I shall not talk about that much....
5. The yelling, so much yelling, cleaning, every day.
6. church every sunday. I'd believe I would have the right to stop going to church...but no. wrong again. See unless I have a car- like my other older sisters did, I can stop going when I turned 16. So no.
I just everything to stop. And thats were reinforcement is coming in.............IDFK how but I really want it to. Im just so fucking depressed at the moment. I learned in phycology class that positive reinforcement can change a persons reflex. But Im not quiet sure If any of these are a reflexes or how I could shape them, or if this is moral or not...I mean their just looking out for my well being...maybe I should just say I dont like the way thier treating me......

 

[Cint]

You need to set some boundaries. Just because you have seizures and cannot drive right now does not mean that family can control your every move. If you don't feel like going to church, don't go, that is your right. Do not put up with that constant yelling as it brings on stress for you and stress can bring on seizures. So when the yelling begins, walk out of that environment and tell them you will not listen to it. If you don't like the way your family is treating you, tell them..... and all need to find a counselor.

Good luck!

 

[Nakamova]

:agree:
When concern crosses the line into control it becomes unhealthy for you and your family. Can your sisters or friends provide advice and support to help you create healthy boundaries?

 

[Athena22]

I do not think my family can create healthy boundaries. Life isnt that simple here, I can avoid the yelling as much as I can but I'm just going to learn how to shape a persons intellect.

 

[valeriedl]

I have a feeling I'm probably a good bit older than you at 37 but I can relate to a little of this. What I have to probably isn't as bad as yours though.

I hate the fact that my family and husband have to drive me places. I can't just jump in the car and go. I have to wait until they are able to take me.

My parents aren't quite as bad but they do not want me to be left in a store all by myself with no one I know with them.

When I'm at the store my husband doesn't want me to live his side. He has to keep me in sight like I'm 3 years old. I'm actually very surprised though because he has started dropping me off at the store and leaving me there alone. I do get several calls from him while I'm out though just to make sure I'm ok.

My husband doesn't want me to cross the road to get the mail because I could have a seizure and a car would hit me.

I'm always being asked if I'm ok too. I may be staring at the tv and my husband will think I'm having a seizure because I'm not looking anywhere else. If I spend too much time in the bathroom he's got to come check on me.

I do get into fights about these things. It's very hard not to yell but somehow I manage, most of the time.

The things that you are living with you shouldn't have to deal with. Is it possible to sit down with your parents and talk to them about it? Would your parents maybe consider going to some sort of family counseling? I don't think these are healthy living environments.

 

[N Sperlo]

I wouldn't call it manipulation, I would just consider it a different form of control. You know what you want, no one else is allowing you to have it. I had to cut myself free and grow up eventually, so I know what you mean to an extent.