Man has "relations" with bicycle.....

[TeeTees]

Sorry guys, but just had to share this :

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/10/26/nsex126.xml

Only in the UK !! :tup:

Any one-liner's are welcome. I thought up the following :

He asked for a mountain bike, but ended up with a "mounting" bike

 

[Bernard]

Queen's Bicycle Race:

Bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride it where I like

Don't watch if you are photosensitive...

 

[Birdbomb]

So if having sex with a 2 wheeler makes him a sex offender, does that mean if he has sex with a TRICYCLE he'll be a peddlephile?

 

[BIGMAN131307]

Two questions come to mind.

Did the bicycle say no? Was the bicycle underage?

 

[brain]

Two questions come to mind.

Did the bicycle say no? Was the bicycle underage?

* groans *

 

[TeeTees]

So if having sex with a 2 wheeler makes him a sex offender, does that mean if he has sex with a TRICYCLE he'll be a peddlephile?

Mwaaaahahahaha.....good one ! :clap:

What about ?....."He was after a pump" <ahem>

 

[CQ:)]

Is he banned from going near any other bicycles?

 

[Birdbomb]

3 words........
use your own imagination








Tour de France

 

[brain]

I think it's a high time for me to
check everyone's medications! Or what
y'all been smoking or drinking for that matter!

fft:

 

[Birdbomb]

And just where is YOUR bike, Brainy? Has it missed it's curfew? Do you know who it's keeping company with? Have you had that "little talk" with it?fft:

 

[TeeTees]

I think it's a high time for me to
check everyone's medications! Or what
y'all been smoking or drinking for that matter!

fft:

Hey brain, it's not US who have the problem - for a change - it's the man who likes bikes !! fft:

I just hope he doesn't stick it on ebay....imagine having to collect it, and SHAKING his hand to confirm the deal <yeeeeucch!>

 

[speber]

You rang?

:rock:"...you'd look sweet, upon the seat, of a bicycle built for two."......<<<<<<shudder!>>>>>>>

 

[brain]

*** Gasp! ***

And just where is YOUR bike, Brainy? Has it missed it's curfew? Do you know who it's keeping company with? Have you had that "little talk" with it?fft:

I did not Log-In with
to read that!

fft:

My Trek is safe and sound - TYVM!

Hey brain, it's not US who have the problem - for a change - it's the man who likes bikes !! fft:

I just hope he doesn't stick it on ebay....imagine having to collect it, and SHAKING his hand to confirm the deal <yeeeeucch!>

:agree:

Now - the scary part is "What if eBay happened
to come across this thread and goes, 'Ummm,
we've got rules and regs on used undies and
undergarments, and other objects - but we're
going to have to discuss this one up in our
next conference on .... bicycles? or stationary
or moving objects? ...."

That would be very odd and extreme, but of
course only in eBay that a Seller can find very
strange rules and regs in there. Trust me, I've
seen my share!

But then again you can bid or buy a cockroach
as long as it is D.O.A.!

 

[Birdbomb]

EW!...EW!...EW!...EW!...EW!...EW!

:twisted: Bike terms

Bearing ball
Boob tube
Bone Shaker
Bottom Pull
Chain suck
Chain tool
Crank
Death Grips
Friction shifting
Gear Inches
Hardened
Jam Nut
Limit Stop Screw
Miss and Out
Nipple
Noodle
Nut
Nutted
One-piece Crank
Pull
Puller
Quadruple Butted
Rigid
Rim
Rim Cut
Rise
Screw
Shaft drive
Stud
Wedgie
Wheel Sucker

 

[brain]

Birdy has just discovered Cycle-hood!

I can see Birdy has just discovered
Cycling and I understand every single
word!

How many cogs do you have?

 

[cori]

guys i have just read something worse a teenager tried to have sex with .... a pavement!
after downing a half bottle of vodka while on medication.( he was on 7 forms of medication for arthritus)

 

[Birdbomb]

Cori I saw that but just thought I'd give someone else a chance to post it. Stupid drunk teenager, humping the road, get's labeled a SEX OFFENDER for 5 years.

Please, someone tell me how humping inanimate objects can be considered rape? Is the inaniminate object going to be psychologically scared for life? Will it suffer?

PLEASE! :roll:

It's more of a fetish.

Or just drunkiness

Or just "boys being boys"

But then, humping the pavement would give you one HELL of a road rash!

 

[Birdbomb]

BTW He's probably taking the same stuff I am for my RA and the alcohol will just KILL his liver. It doesn't make you act any crazier.

 

[Bernard]

Or just "boys being boys"

Umm... I've been a boy... and I never had the urge to hump the pavement! :lol:

 

[brain]

op: