Moment of clarity?

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Matthew74

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I'm not sure I know how to ask this.

I had a moment, perhaps a few seconds, where I was looking at something, and it appeared very "clear". Clear is the best adjective I can come up with. It's like I was right there, in that moment. It felt good, like I was seeing reality clearly. I don't mean anything profound. It was more like, "THIS is normal." It was simple, not at all euphoric. Natural, not weird. It was like I was right where I was.

The same thing happened a couple years ago, but then it reminded me exactly of what I felt like as a young child. (I especially remember visiting my grandparents for christmas.). It was like I was totally present, with a weight lifted. Today when it happened I felt like going out and doing things. I wanted to go to the beach, and not just go, but have fun and socialize. I didn't just want to, I felt like it. There was no struggle.

Usually I feel like I'm struggling to see out of a small opening or through a bunch of fog. It's like there's a plate of glass between me and the rest of the world (figuratively speaking). I see things, but they seem vaguely inaccessible.

The only thing I can liken it to is the difference between being wide awake (at least as wide awake as I get) and having been awake for more than 24 hours. When you are that tired you sense the world, but aren't quite in it, if you know what I mean. Does this sound familiar? (I don't have TLE. Its the exact opposite of a seizure.)
 
I have had experiences like this since I have taken anti epileptics. I also have experiences when part of the field is very clear and lucid and pleasing and as if framed while the rest is vague and not so interesting. Sometimes I experience a heightened geometric pattern that complicates itself. Actually I have been so convinced that some of this is from the medications that now I am leaving them behind, I have been quite sad about it for this particular pleasure.
 
On thinking about it some more, I think I know what you are talking about and I think I have had that experience my whole life. When I don't have it, I miss it.
 
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