My Grandpa

[Rae1889]

My grandpa had a stroke last night. My Uncle Fred called to say my grandpa couldnt move his arm or leg, and half his face drooped. He wasnt confused or anything, but couldnt speak right because his tongue was numb. He refused to go to the hospital, and said he is ready to die. he is tired of being without my grandma, and that if he is going to die, he is going to do it at home and alone. Because he doesnt want to traumatize anyone by watching him die. He said he watched grandma die and hasnt been able to get over it.

He basically went home and locked the door. He is answering the phone when my mum calls but basically telling her to stop calling. The paramedics said they cannot force him to go to the hospital, because he understands the consequences of not going. they also said he probably wont last another week given how severe this stroke was and that he is an alcoholic and heavy smoker. I am beside myself with sadness at the moment and I dont know what to do.

On one hand, I understand his grief. I understand his need and right to die how he should choose. I just wish he would want to stay with us. The paramedics said that its possible he will suffer seizures before he goes, and I do NOT want him to experience that. that is how my grandma died right in front of him

 

[dennis100]

Sorry to hear the news about your grandfather. I hope you are doing alright Rae

 

[CathyAnn31]

Hospice is amazing. Have you looked into that? He could die at home comfortibly and peacefully with his dignity and he wouldn't be alone.

Sorry about your grandfather.

 

[Rae1889]

He is a very stubborn man. He doesnt want anyone to help him eat or get dressed or shower. He says he if cant do it himself, he doesnt want to be alive.

 

[Fedup]

Rae1889

I am very sorry for what has happened, there is not much any of us can say that you do not know already, but its not that he does not want to stay with us, that is what we want (and what I wanted when I was in much the same situation), he wants his first LOVE, when you think about it, we would probably do the same in some way, all you can do and it does not seem much or as if you are not doing it already, is be there for him. I am sorry its not much help or good, but mind yourself and your family.

 

[SassySarah]

I am very sorry. This is a tragic situation with no right answer. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I understand your fear of him seizing and will pray he goes much more peaceful and is gently placed in your grandmas embrace.

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 2

 

[Cint]

Rae,

Sorry to hear about your grandfather. My father had a stroke 15 years ago in front of my mother. As a result, he has suffered memory loss, apahsia, and now has dementia. He also suffered kidney failure as a result and does dialysis 3 times a week. With your grandpa being by himself under these circumstances, he really does need someone to look after him, although he says he's ready to go. My father says he can dress himself, feed himself, etc. but now he does need help to get dressed, remembering to take meds, where his clothes are and simple tasks. If your grandpa survives longer than expected, he will need help. As Cathy suggested, look into hospice care. He could go peacefully, especially with the risks of having seizures.

 

[jyearta]

I'm sorry to hear of your grandfather.

My prayers are with you and your family at this time.

 

[Bernard]

Sorry to hear that Rae. I suggest you tell him you love him and be at peace that he's content.

 

[Loopy Lou]

I'm so sorry to hear that Rae. Love to you and your family x

 

[PFunk]

I suggest you tell him you love him and be at peace that he's content.

I agree with Bernard.

It sound like your grandfather has already moved on and only wants to be with his true love. Theres something poetic in that.

I truly wish you the best as you and your family move through this trying time

 

[Nakamova]

Sorry you and your grandfather are suffering Rae.

 

[Dolores]

Rae, I am so very sorry for you and your family and especially your grandfather.

 

[LJ-Bain]

What a terrible reality to be facing.
It must feel like you are forced between grieving him and wanting to help him.

I don't even know what I would do if I were in his shoes, or if I was in yours.
I'm so sorry. I guess all you can do is be there for him in any way that he will allow you to and let him know that you love him.

 

[CQ:)]

Rae - Sorry to hear about your Grandpa