My (not so baby) girl...

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Loudmouth

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My baby girl (haha, she's 11 1/2) starts secondary school in the morning. I am soooo nervous for her. This is a school with over 1600 pupils ranging in age from 11-16. She is excited, but I am worried about how she's going to cope. She was ok in primary, as her best friend also has epilepsy, but her friend is in the other half of the year at secondary, and they won't be in ANY lessons together. I'm frightened that she will get picked on, she can't even tie her own shoelaces yet. She has to pay for her own lunch when she can't add up past 20, and for the first 6 weeks until they have done the CATS tests on her year, she won't get any help with it. AAAGGGHHH!!! I'm sooo worried that she won't cope, and because her primary school were so unhelpful, the secondary school don't seem to be taking my concerns seriously. I want to go with her to keep her safe! I will let you all know tomorrow night how her first day went. OH, and despite practising every day for the last 8 weeks, she still can't do her tie up!
 
I hope all goes well for her (and you). Is there anyone at the school you can ask to look out for your daughter, like the school nurse or a social worker?
 
Awww, Loudmouth...

I'll be keeping positive thoughts and prayers going for her...I hope things will go well for her, I really do!!!
 
I really do feel for her

I was that kid that was picked on when I was younger so it's hard for me not to empathise.
 
There isn't a school nurse. She seems to have made a couple of friends. She DID have a problem with her lunch money though...she went over the amount I had given her, but only by 5p ( I think that was luck) so they let her off! She came in today, got changed and has gone to her new friend's house until tea time. She has got her 1st piece of homework today, but it's only a quick bit, I think they're easing them in gradually. I think next week might be a bit of a shock on that count....She enjoyed her french lesson yesterday, but she didn't like the maths lesson (exactly as I suspected).
 
I just read your post. Wow, I would be worried for her too. But sounds like she is fitting in okay. I hope she continues to do well. :)
 
When given wings they tend to fly. Not always the direction we would choose, but they do have the opportunity to soar if they choose to.
Being taken out of our comfort zone is necessary for growth. At least in my experience.
 
In a few weeks they do the 'CATS' tests and then they put them in ability sets after the first half term (which is at the end of October). I'm just (after looking through the work she HAS done) a bit worried that in the meantime, she will get so disheartened with the work being so far above her head that she gets 'bored' of school and stops putting the effort in. She had to do a simple worksheet in history (colour in 'primary' sources of evidence in one colour, and 'secondary' forms of evidence in another) and it was above and beyond her, she didn't understand what she was supposed to be doing, and she hates telling the teacher thsat she doesn't understand as the other kids take thew mickey. She is doing ok in french at the moment but that's because it's all been oral work. Once it comes to written work and getting her french words spelt correctly, I know it will become too difficult. She can't spell words like 'mouse' or read them properly in ENGLISH never mind another language...By the time they put her in an 'ability appropriate' class, she will have spent 2 whole months(and her entire primary schooling) with the work making no sense. But I know no matter how many times I tell her to ask the teacher to explain it to her, she won't even ask as she finds it embarrasing in front of the other kids. I don't know what to do to help her, I can't see the SenCo for another 2 weeks. She has a documented 'memory retention' problem, you can teach her the same lesson (i.e. counting backwards from 20) every day for 6 months, she will get it that day, but by the next, she can't do it again. Anyone got any ideas what I could do at home to help her?
Sorry for long post!
 
Getting a bit cross with some of the teachers at the school. The PE teacher threatened her with detention if she didn't get changed within 2 minutes. My daughter cannot do shoelaces, her tie, and only learnt to put her own socks on when she was nearly 8, and to do buttons up when she was almost 10. The school know about her problems, most of the teachers are being understanding, but the pe teacher is being really nasty. Jade was so stressed about it this morning she was in tears but when I asked her if she wanted me to talk to the teacher and she said NO!!!! She doesn't want my help, but she doesn't want detention either....WHAT do I do?
 
I am angry from reading your post. Not a nice PE teacher at all.

But I do applaud your daughter for being independant and not wating you to get involved.

However if it were me, I'd probably talk to the principal without her knowing. ;)

***hugs***
 
Update on how secondary school is going for my daughter-NOT WELL! So far this week, she has missed an entire lesson because she couldn't find the right classroom (she went to 10 before she got there and had missed 50 mins of an hr lesson). She has got detention for being late to registration (not her fault, school have suddenly shut a short-cut across the field that the kids have been using for 5 yrs!). A detention for forgetting her PE kit when the school was only supposed to have 3 lessons due to early closing (they did PE for 4th period, instead of lunch!) And 2 days ago, a detention (that I wouldn't let her do) for not completing a piece of maths homework that was 5 yrs above the level she's working on.

Due to the maths detention, I spoke to the deputy head of year yesterday, and she has spoken to the maths teacher, who thankfully has sent her home with some suitable homework now.

She doesn't want to have a helper going around with her, but I know she needs one. What do I do? Now she has written french homework, it's getting too hard for her (she was in tears last night trying to learn her spellings). I just dont know how best to help her, it's not as easy to just go in andf see the teachers now she's in secondary school.

I am not very good at explaining myself over the phone, I like to have face-to-face appointments, but the teachers are always too busy for that. I need to see the SenCo, and the head of maths was supposed to call me back yesterday but hasn't. I'm now tearing my hair out, as I was pinning myu hopes on her getting more help at secondary as the primary were useless, but it just seems like more of the same with less ability for me to contact them directly...

:soap:
 
Hi Loudmouth! I'm curious....since I don't know what the british system is like...but does she have something like an IEP? ( IEP= Individualized Education Plan...it is an individualized plan for teaching student's with special needs.) Have you asked the school for textbooks on CD? If she's a special ed. student she may qualify for having textbooks on CD. (well, at least in the US....) Is there any way that the school would let you walk her through her schedule afte school let out in the evening? Is there any student that she has similar classes with that she could "buddy" with as far as finding her classes are concerned?
 
Where did my post from yesterday go??!! In the UK, an IEP doesn't give you special equipment, only a statement does that, and she misses out on a statement by 1% point in our area as she is 'only' testing as having a reading age that is 2 1/2 yrs behind her chronological age. It doesn't matter that her comprehension is over 3 years behind, or her maths being 5 yrs behind, it's the reading age that triggers the statement (or behavioural problems, which she doesn't have). The problem with getting a buddy is that she is with different people for each lesson, so a person who would be in her english class for example, wouldn't be in the DT lesson she had next, so that system doesn't work in this school. There are 300 children in her school year, which is almost as many as were in her entire primary school. It's the largest secondary school in our town, but it's the local one. It means that she doesn't really have the same people in each lesson. And even if the school were willing for me to walk through with her each night, I have 2 younger children that I wouldn't be able to take with me, and the only time I could do it is when I'm meant to be bringing them home from primary in a different direction (secondary is in walking distance of home, 10 mins walk, primary is a 20 min bus journey from the other direction!). From what I can ork out by talking to my aunt (she teaches in Syracuse), an English IEP is equivalent to a 504 plan? and an English statement of special needs is equivalent to an American IEP.
 
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Ahhh...Ok. :) Hmm....for your daughter, repetition is key..and even then, not certain to work. Just because she didn't qualify for a statement the last time, she might be this time. When kids are that close here in the states, or at least where I live, we don't just go by the numbers. We'll look at the reality of the situation. some kids are great at reading aloud. But ask them what they read meant and they have no clue. Since school is a matter of not only getting information but learning how to use it and apply it, that can make school difficult.

For reading, have her read for at least 30 min. every night. If she's reading what we call chapter books, have her write down a quick 2 line summary of what she read at the bottom of every page.

For math, multiplication cards and having her do some quick addition and subtraction problems every night. It's the basic skills that are so necessary when it comes to solving math problems.

Writing. Understand that writing is the LAST skill to be mastered. That is because it is dependent on the person's reading ability. The more your daughter reads, the better her writing will get.

Make sure that her binder is highly organized and make sure you go through her back pack every night. ( She might forget papers and assignments.) Use a daily planner or homework notebook to write notes to the teachers for each class. Have her write her assignments and have the teachers write to you at least once a week. This keeps communication open between you and school, and makes her and her teachers accountable. Make sure that the teachers know about the homework notebook..have the prinicipal tell all the teachers about it, and send you a copy of the email informing them about it. :) That way, they can't say they never heard about it. :)
 
It sounds to me like a chat with the principal is needed. The PE situation and detentions need to be resolved. She can do the talking with the principal, and have you there for support, but her teachers need to accomodate her. I don't care if she is has an IEP or 504. This child is not disruptive, not truent daily, not rude... she wants to learn, so they need to step up and make that possible. I get so frustrated with teachers, schools, that can only teach to a certain level, and if your child falls below or above, the child gets left behind. It is the schools job to teach each and every child, no matter what level they test at.

It is the teachers job to educate (not humiliate) and it is your daughters job to be ready to learn.
 
If only it were that easy...in the UK, at least in my area (which apparently has one of the worst special ed sections in the country,due to overpopulation and ESL), the schools are not proactive like in the US, they don't hold them back a grade even if they need it (for 3 years straight I begged the Local Education Authority), they just let them leave at 16 (18 for my daughter, rules have changed for her year group onwards) with absolutely no qualifications. For children in my area with my daughter's problems, in an area that covers a circumference of roughly 40 miles of densely populated east of england, there are only 22 places for children with her problems, so they grade them on severity of the READING AGE ONLY. She does have a homework diary, but most of the notes I write in it seem to go unnoticed by her form tutor despite the fact she has to sign it each week.

I do try to work with her but my other 2 children also have additional needs. My 7 yr old has extension work every evening as he is working 3 years above his peer group, and my youngest also has special needs. The school seems to have a very set scheme in which things are dealt with. Form tutor first, then deputy head of year and heads of each department, then head of year, then deputy head, then only after you have exhausted all those avenues do you get to talk to the principal. I am STILL waiting for the head of maths to get back to me.

It won't matter how much I try to get her reassessed for a statement as the LEA in our area has devolved the SEN budgets to the schools for children on IEP, so if the school don't back me, as the primary school didn't, then you have no hope of acheiving that goal. This is because if a child has a statement then the money provided to the school for that child has to be spent on that child,as it comes from 'central government funds'. However if a child has an IEP, then the money is provided directly to the school and the school do not have to actually spend that money helping that particular child and often the funds left in the SEN 'pot' from children on IEP's at the end of the year get used for buying equipment for the schools. It's a travesty that my friends and I are trying to fight, but are meeting HUGE resistance from all the local schools AND the local education authority. There is no accountability for funds provided 'in respect of' a child with an IEP, whereas every penny has to be accounted for with a statement, which is why both the schools and the LEA in our area are putting up soooo many barriers to statements. Unless you have a VERY obvious physical difficulty (and not even always then, I know of 3 children with severe downs syndrome locally that don't get any help) OR, more usually, severe behavioural difficulties, then you are basically stuffed as far as a statement goes.

:soap:SORRY for massively long rant, subject is very close to my heart and a MAJOR bugbear!
 
Sounds like you guys are having a really hard time with the school and the teachers. It always breaks my heart to hear how people won't help even when they know there is an issue. With Kaylee, we live my the saying "try, try, try again". Is there a school board or someone outside the school itself that can't help?
I really hope things get better soon.
Hugs and prayers,
Leslie G.
 
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