AndrewIrish
Stalwart
- Messages
- 321
- Reaction score
- 1
- Points
- 68
Hey all,
I've been searching the internet for several years about something that's happened to me since I was 15 or so. I'm 21 now... it's something that's been more of a 'nuisance' then anything, yet I really need some people with good knowledge, for advice.
Let em give you a rundown on what I go through.
In layman's terms, because I don't know the medical terms and have never been diagnosed, because I have never had insurance or ability to get diagnosed, I believe I have a Reflex Epilepsy triggered by complex thinking, sequential ordering and general stress.
These are accompanied by jerks of my shoulder forward, or my arm jerking outward violently... it feels like I get a 1-second 'hiccup' in my brain and my body flails around for a second. And during times when I'm doing certain things, this continues happening... like something is misfiring, I keep 'hicuping' and jerking, usually my arm but sometimes my leg or so.
My triggers: (General because they seem to happen to anything, the myoclonic jerks have happened many times in the last 5 years, everyday.)
- Chess (Perfext example. Can not play it. Can not. Within a minute of looking at the board, everytime I try to think, I have a myoclonic jerk.)
- Paper forms (I have worked in a call center for several years now... everyday, I have to suffer through these 'hiccups' and... it's hard. A lot of the time, my arm will jerk and I scribble on a page and have to redo it. It's hard on me, my head hurts afterwards, I feel jittery... it's just... I can't fill out a single paper form with a pencil - I write anything more then my name, the jerks come. They come everyday, again and again and again... )
- Games (Video games, puzzles... anything where I have to think about the future and then try to form a mental strategy, I begin jerking. More violently then anything else I do though, with video games.)
- Being rushed, stressed, etc.... (Anytime I am in any type of rush or under stress, I begin to jerk. Not so much being yelled at or what have you, but when I self impose a goal for myself to meet, when I 'try hard' to do it, the jerks come... they sidetrack me, make it impossible me for to do things...)
I'm not having a petit-mal or grand-mal seizure or anything quite as dramatic, but over the years, this has become a hindrance to my daily life, I can't take anymore. I need help but without insurance, I don't know of anyway to get it. Usually I can avoid some of my 'triggers' but how do I combat triggers that literally prevent me from my complex thinking? I love strategy, I love formulating plans and focusing on an immediate goal - I can't do it anymore, though. The myoclonic jerks are violent, they're distracting to others and make me feel... wrong, somehow. Like I'm sick or something...
I mean, best self-diagnosis I can give myself is Reflex Epilepsy triggered by complex, sequential thinking with myoclonic jerks.
All I ever have though, are myoclonic jerks. Would that still be considered epilepsy? I'm sorry if I'm a bit of an 'outcast' here, I'm just looking for some help from somebody, I would appreciate what anyone thinks...
Also, because this has been an everyday occurence since I was 15, I'm 21 now... can constant, daily myoclonic 'jerking episodes' I'd call it, have any permanent damage to me or my brain? Am I hurting myself, somehow?
Again out in the dark, searching for a friendly hand...
I've been searching the internet for several years about something that's happened to me since I was 15 or so. I'm 21 now... it's something that's been more of a 'nuisance' then anything, yet I really need some people with good knowledge, for advice.
Let em give you a rundown on what I go through.
In layman's terms, because I don't know the medical terms and have never been diagnosed, because I have never had insurance or ability to get diagnosed, I believe I have a Reflex Epilepsy triggered by complex thinking, sequential ordering and general stress.
These are accompanied by jerks of my shoulder forward, or my arm jerking outward violently... it feels like I get a 1-second 'hiccup' in my brain and my body flails around for a second. And during times when I'm doing certain things, this continues happening... like something is misfiring, I keep 'hicuping' and jerking, usually my arm but sometimes my leg or so.
My triggers: (General because they seem to happen to anything, the myoclonic jerks have happened many times in the last 5 years, everyday.)
- Chess (Perfext example. Can not play it. Can not. Within a minute of looking at the board, everytime I try to think, I have a myoclonic jerk.)
- Paper forms (I have worked in a call center for several years now... everyday, I have to suffer through these 'hiccups' and... it's hard. A lot of the time, my arm will jerk and I scribble on a page and have to redo it. It's hard on me, my head hurts afterwards, I feel jittery... it's just... I can't fill out a single paper form with a pencil - I write anything more then my name, the jerks come. They come everyday, again and again and again... )
- Games (Video games, puzzles... anything where I have to think about the future and then try to form a mental strategy, I begin jerking. More violently then anything else I do though, with video games.)
- Being rushed, stressed, etc.... (Anytime I am in any type of rush or under stress, I begin to jerk. Not so much being yelled at or what have you, but when I self impose a goal for myself to meet, when I 'try hard' to do it, the jerks come... they sidetrack me, make it impossible me for to do things...)
I'm not having a petit-mal or grand-mal seizure or anything quite as dramatic, but over the years, this has become a hindrance to my daily life, I can't take anymore. I need help but without insurance, I don't know of anyway to get it. Usually I can avoid some of my 'triggers' but how do I combat triggers that literally prevent me from my complex thinking? I love strategy, I love formulating plans and focusing on an immediate goal - I can't do it anymore, though. The myoclonic jerks are violent, they're distracting to others and make me feel... wrong, somehow. Like I'm sick or something...
I mean, best self-diagnosis I can give myself is Reflex Epilepsy triggered by complex, sequential thinking with myoclonic jerks.
All I ever have though, are myoclonic jerks. Would that still be considered epilepsy? I'm sorry if I'm a bit of an 'outcast' here, I'm just looking for some help from somebody, I would appreciate what anyone thinks...
Also, because this has been an everyday occurence since I was 15, I'm 21 now... can constant, daily myoclonic 'jerking episodes' I'd call it, have any permanent damage to me or my brain? Am I hurting myself, somehow?
Again out in the dark, searching for a friendly hand...