Hi all here I am spilling my disappointments on life via a forum because I'm sad because I'm in pain because I feel sad at making others sad at my expense because there's never enough money to take care of all the tests you need when it comes to this disorder. I'm sad I've had two seizures this week that have me bent I'm suffering migraines I am Dizzy my eyes hurt I feel like I'm being punished for a crime I have not committed everything seems dark I don't know what to do. FYI I have not family or friends.
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- Thread starter ksharin
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ksharin
You do not make others sad, that is something only they can do, so there is no need to try and blame yourself. We all get sad at the fact that we get seizures and yes it does seem like you are getting punished for something. My friends and family are the good people of C.W.E. and my wife. There are a lot of others here who can say the same and there is never enough money to cover the expenses. I am sorry to say this but its not your fault any of this, yet we have to go through this.
You do not make others sad, that is something only they can do, so there is no need to try and blame yourself. We all get sad at the fact that we get seizures and yes it does seem like you are getting punished for something. My friends and family are the good people of C.W.E. and my wife. There are a lot of others here who can say the same and there is never enough money to cover the expenses. I am sorry to say this but its not your fault any of this, yet we have to go through this.
Thank you FedUp. Sometimes you just need to talk to someone who understands not someone who hears you and knows they can't do anything about it and gets frustrated. I've had this disorder for 26 years and by golly I still can't get use to it. Haunts me every day of my miserable life.
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Hi ksharin, so sorry you are in a dark place right now. As Fedup says, epilepsy can feel like punishment, but you should not take it that way. You have done nothing wrong, it's just one of those lovely surprises life throws our way. It can be tough going, but you are not alone on the journey.
Thank you Nakamova. I know it sounds selfish but knowing you are not alone in this helps. I'm glad that no one I personally know has to suffer through this hell but it always saddens me that no one truly understands me. It's like Drs I hate it when they put me up to having seizures for tests when it's one of the things that makes me feel worst and there will be no change except me having to battle through these episode side effects for a week.
BrandiBrat
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I'm so sorry to hear you are in the dark right now. A friend here yesterday told me to quit beating myself up...and I am going to to pay it forward now. Listen to me closely. It's NOT YOUR FAULT THIS IS HAPPENING TO YOU. Epilepsy sucks. Seizures suck. But, it will get better. These are the words passed on to me over the last week so I'm passing them on 
This is a great place to be when you need support because we all know what you are going through.
Welcome!! Nice to meet you, Ksharin
This is a great place to be when you need support because we all know what you are going through. Welcome!! Nice to meet you, Ksharin
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Hi brandiBrat thank you for your words they are energy for my soul that gets quite beat when these seizures happen.
Hi jyearta I live all the things you mention unfortunately some are triggers for me especially after having had a seizure. Especially reading for whatever reason it's a horrible trigger for me otherwise music is ok if I listen to it in small periods long periods will trigger seizures and a walk I would love to but I'm always scared of seizing when I'm by myself.
Hi jyearta I live all the things you mention unfortunately some are triggers for me especially after having had a seizure. Especially reading for whatever reason it's a horrible trigger for me otherwise music is ok if I listen to it in small periods long periods will trigger seizures and a walk I would love to but I'm always scared of seizing when I'm by myself.
BrandiBrat
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You got it, my friend...I'll be your cheerleader! Go team, go!! heehee
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I'm by myself now and I've taken walks and have had seizures, some bad ones, while out on walks. Several times 911 has been called. And I've had them while I was still living with my husband and kids. 911 was called then, also. So, to me, it doesn't matter if I have a seizure at home or wherever. I cannot let it control me any longer. It is too depressing to stay home 24/7. One cannot let E define them.
angelsmom
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I am so sorry to hear how you are feeling. I understand that you feel that life is miserable because of this condition but you have to find a support system in all this even if its here on CWE. No one wishes this upon themselves or on anyone else but you do have to remain strong. I don't have epilepsy but my daughter does and I hate seeing her go through it all and me feeling helpless but I am by her side. I hope that you are able to find your way out of this dark place you are in and find comfort in knowing that you are not alone.