Hello.
Beyond greetings, I'm really not sure where to begin, how much to include, or even what to say regarding my convoluted history with epilepsy. I'm not yet sure what to feel. I spent fourteen years (exactly half of my life) coping with bizarre episodes I now know were seizures. I was finally diagnosed with left temporal lobe epilepsy about two weeks ago. I think it would be fair to say that since then, I've been having some trouble processing everything.
If my memory serves me correctly, (and admittedly, it's a bit shoddy), my first event occurred when I was about fourteen years old. Like any sane and normal teenager, I was deeply interested in the paranormal, and I thought what was happening was best explained as a series of OOBEs. Slightly embarrassing to consider now, but there you have it.
Throughout childhood and into my teenage years, my father was extremely abusive. Consequently, I developed some problems, most of the rest of my family rejected me, and I lived in and out of various psychiatric facilities, I suppose as an alternative to becoming homeless. During the course of my "treatment," I lost count of the myriad psychological problems and diagnoses that were misapplied to me. (I'm not sure all those drugs were helping me with my arithmetic, either.) I imagine the shrinks must have grown tired of volleying me around. Then one day, when I had a seizure during a therapy session, they found something new and exciting to talk about.
"Pseudoseizures" are, in my opinion, pseudoscience for which treatment options apparently include what's tantamount to being slapped on each cheek and plainly told to snap out of whatever funk has you whining for attention this week. No, how are you REALLY feeling? Here, have some more pills. This one will help you sleep. Oh, you're feeling drowsy? Here's another antidepressant. No, don't stop any of the others you're taking. They work best together. Hahaha!
Not long after I'd sworn off therapy, I had a rather severe cluster of seizures that landed me in the emergency room. The doctor who saw me took one look at my chart, cracked up, called me a drug addict, and asked me to leave the hospital so he could treat patients who had real problems.
If by some miracle I wasn't crazy then, I certainly am now.
Curiously (or not), I discovered my mood drastically improved (stabilized) as I weaned myself off the different medications I was taking. But over the past few years, I've been experiencing seizure episodes more frequently and regularly; several seizures a day over the course of several days. As it's been, I can expect to dedicate about one week (or more) of each month to these events.
So much has happened and so much has been lost over the course of fourteen years. After getting bounced around a bit more, I was finally sent to see an epileptologist. Needless to say, I was a little less than excited when he recommended going into the hospital for video EEG monitoring. Well, I'm glad I went, because now I know.
I think what I'm looking for right now is a place to exchange ideas about how to manage the problems associated with epilepsy. It's so strange that the stigma surrounding a disease would, in some circumstances, be more challenging to manage than the disease itself.
Anyway, nice to meet you. :bigmouth:
Beyond greetings, I'm really not sure where to begin, how much to include, or even what to say regarding my convoluted history with epilepsy. I'm not yet sure what to feel. I spent fourteen years (exactly half of my life) coping with bizarre episodes I now know were seizures. I was finally diagnosed with left temporal lobe epilepsy about two weeks ago. I think it would be fair to say that since then, I've been having some trouble processing everything.
If my memory serves me correctly, (and admittedly, it's a bit shoddy), my first event occurred when I was about fourteen years old. Like any sane and normal teenager, I was deeply interested in the paranormal, and I thought what was happening was best explained as a series of OOBEs. Slightly embarrassing to consider now, but there you have it.
Throughout childhood and into my teenage years, my father was extremely abusive. Consequently, I developed some problems, most of the rest of my family rejected me, and I lived in and out of various psychiatric facilities, I suppose as an alternative to becoming homeless. During the course of my "treatment," I lost count of the myriad psychological problems and diagnoses that were misapplied to me. (I'm not sure all those drugs were helping me with my arithmetic, either.) I imagine the shrinks must have grown tired of volleying me around. Then one day, when I had a seizure during a therapy session, they found something new and exciting to talk about.
"Pseudoseizures" are, in my opinion, pseudoscience for which treatment options apparently include what's tantamount to being slapped on each cheek and plainly told to snap out of whatever funk has you whining for attention this week. No, how are you REALLY feeling? Here, have some more pills. This one will help you sleep. Oh, you're feeling drowsy? Here's another antidepressant. No, don't stop any of the others you're taking. They work best together. Hahaha!
Not long after I'd sworn off therapy, I had a rather severe cluster of seizures that landed me in the emergency room. The doctor who saw me took one look at my chart, cracked up, called me a drug addict, and asked me to leave the hospital so he could treat patients who had real problems.
If by some miracle I wasn't crazy then, I certainly am now.
Curiously (or not), I discovered my mood drastically improved (stabilized) as I weaned myself off the different medications I was taking. But over the past few years, I've been experiencing seizure episodes more frequently and regularly; several seizures a day over the course of several days. As it's been, I can expect to dedicate about one week (or more) of each month to these events.
So much has happened and so much has been lost over the course of fourteen years. After getting bounced around a bit more, I was finally sent to see an epileptologist. Needless to say, I was a little less than excited when he recommended going into the hospital for video EEG monitoring. Well, I'm glad I went, because now I know.
I think what I'm looking for right now is a place to exchange ideas about how to manage the problems associated with epilepsy. It's so strange that the stigma surrounding a disease would, in some circumstances, be more challenging to manage than the disease itself.
Anyway, nice to meet you. :bigmouth:
