over protective

[eslucas]

Hi Valeriedl,
Sorry to hear that you've had some scary experiences in public. Unfortunately,going out will always come with an element of risk for all of us. You keep thinking...should I or shouldn't I? When and where? With whom? Should I go to that wedding? That in itself stress a person out. I think it's smart to prepare yourself and the person you're with in case the worse happens and after that put it in the back of your mind so you can relax and have a good time. Take care.

 

[eslucas]

Hi Gilette,
Thanks for the feedback. Couldn't have been easy for you to see other people drink when you couldn't. Even when you know it's too risky, you still feel deprived but you've taken a good strategy to be proactive and stay away (out of sight out of mind) and perhaps when you adjust to the situation, you can attend those events again. I think the compromise you guys came up with is a great one and having a dog to keep you company is wonderful. :0)

 

[Gillette]

I think different things work for different people, it just depends on lifestyle, kids, work etc. My husband has had to work away quite a lot recently coming back late Friday and leaves again on a Sunday lunch time for a long drive back. Not ideal but with being down to one salary and no work in our local area, it's a needs must situation. He is stressed with leaving the kids and me, even if I have a bad day I don't tell him as I feel he is going way beyond at at the moment and doesn't need to know. My kids, thankfully have never seen me having a seizure but have been advised on what to do and expect but if are too frightened just call an ambulance ( more for their peace of mind). I have had a couple out in public one at a concert and another in the pub and a few that were building up so had to leave early. So this is where my husband's anxiety comes from, he is always on the lookout and as if I am not anxious enough already as most of us are he without realising makes it worse. But I know it's because he cares, as when I have a seizure or I feel bad and go for a rest and the kids are elsewhere or in bed too, I hear him crying. This has affected us all as a family and I remember this when I feel sorry for myself, that it's not just me it's us and we are together for a reason and it is this that makes me stand up and brush myself down and move on.

I suppose all I am saying is let them in, let them help and support in the only way they know. We came to a compromise socially that helped us both. They will never fully understand what is going on inside our heads but if we keep pushing them away from us when they do try no matter how much it may be annoying or suffocating, just remember it's because they care!

 

[eslucas]

Hi Gillette,
I hope the stress this is causing you and your family eases up. Can't be easy with kids. Your lucky they haven't seen you have one. I'm lucky my family hasn't seen me have one. You made some good points and I agree.
Even if my intent was good, I realize that keeping or limiting the amount of information (with exceptions) from loved ones, does more harm than good. It just invites speculation or assumptions and shows how I don't give them enough credit believing they can't handle it or accept it. Wrong. I'm very lucky I have a loving and supportive family. Got to be more open. Thanks for the advice. All the best. 0