Reality is starting to sink in...

[2ndchances]

...ever so slowly.

Right temporal lobe resection Redux is 3 weeks, and 1 sleep away.

I can't count the number of times I've been asked if I'm ready recently. Honestly, my answer depends on the moment in which I'm asked.

In 2001, I was 24 and had 12 days notice between finding out that I was a good candidate for surgery after testing before my actual surgery. If something happened to me, someone could tell my then 2 year old son about me as he got older. I had far less to consider.

Now, at 35, I'm in a completely different place in my life. I'm 35, and have supposedly matured fft:. While I've grown stronger over the years, I'm also less carefree and face my fears. I've now had months of knowing the likely outcome would be another surgery, and my 14 has already experienced the death of a parent when his father passed away 4 years ago.

Every moment seems to be a teeter-totter of complete positivity or total weakness; I go from laughing to crying in no time at all. Rinse, repeat.

I'm blessed to have amazing friends, even some that I haven't seen in years, insisting on getting together before my surgery. So in the next three weeks, I'll have some much appreciated support along with much needed distractions.

Deep breath.... almost there.

 

[qtowngirl]

I go from laughing to crying in no time at all. Rinse, repeat.

rinse, repeat. invaluable words my friend, couldn't come up with more accurate if i tried.
i can't even start reading a countdown post of yours without tearing up, you're such a rock mel. i've been keeping an eye on the date too, just said to my bf the other night, 'she's got 23 sleeps to go!' i don't know how you do it. well, dumb thing to say maybe, b/c i'm sure we switch crying and laughing by the second together, it's just that you know your date and you're facing it now. like right f'ing now. i wish i could be there. so glad you have your friends around you.
was wondering, what day are you going into the hospital, 28th? do they want to prep you night before for first thing in the morning?

 

[2ndchances]

i don't know how you do it. well, dumb thing to say maybe, b/c i'm sure we switch crying and laughing by the second together, it's just that you know your date and you're facing it now. like right f'ing now. i wish i could be there.

Not dumb at all. There's a quote that I saw a few years ago that I keep close to my heart. "You don't know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~Bob Marley

was wondering, what day are you going into the hospital, 28th? do they want to prep you night before for first thing in the morning?

I won't be going into the hospital until the morning of surgery. I must be there at 6am, where I'll have another MRI done, and surgery begins at 8am. My "dress rehearsal" (pre-admission) is next Monday, the 15th. (Boy, was there ever a lot of confusion about this appointment. I can tell you if you're interested, might be one of those "you had to be there moments" though.)

I think this will all be really real once that appointment is done.

 

[MaeDae]

2ndchances,
Know that you are not alone. It takes a strong person to endure all the things that you have gone thru. I dont know if I am strong enough to do so. as Kelly Clarkston sings "What Doesn't Kill Us Makes Us Stronger". You have proven over and over. And you will continue to do so. It is important to have support and I am glad that you have that support, but also know that I and (we) will be with you in prayer every step of the way.

Wishing you nothing but the best
Expecting nothing less
Trusting God will do the rest!

Hugs

 

[2ndchances]

Thanks maryltyme! I didn't have the support of people like you, or a forum like this when I went through this in 2001. I can tell you that it makes a world of difference.

 

[Nakamova]

I would be suspicious if you actually felt completely calm and at ease with this whole thing. The seesawing and anxiety is normal (and stressful I'm sure). Hang in there!

And be sure to let us know when you head into the hospital, so we can send you our collective good vibes...

 

[2ndchances]

Thank you Nakamova! Tomorrow is my pre-admission at the hospital, then it'll only be 2 weeks go to! I've had plenty of distractions lately, friends coming to visit or take me out before surgery. I met with an old friend yesterday that I've known for 14 years, but hadn't seen in 10, and she filled in some gaps from my seizures prior to my first surgery... that helped a lot! Getting close!

 

[pita300]

Thanks maryltyme! I didn't have the support of people like you, or a forum like this when I went through this in 2001. I can tell you that it makes a world of difference.

I agree with you on having a fourm like this. My sergury was in 92 I think Long time ago but there was nothing like this then. so its not just 2 weeks for you its 2 weeks for us too as we are all behind you and will be there in spirt on that day! I told qtown most people hear brain sergury and they shutter at the thought. We talk about it here like its getting our tonsils out. And to go through it twice would just push a normal person over the edge! Your a strong person Don't focus on the sergury focus on how your life will change after!
I will be thinking of you untill the big day

 

[MuayThaiFighter]

Best wishes and you are a strong person but regardless its a very scary thing to take in. I will be sending my best thoughts your way.

 

[2ndchances]

so its not just 2 weeks for you its 2 weeks for us too as we are all behind you and will be there in spirt on that day!

Wow, this gave me a big smile :bigsmile: Thank you!

Best wishes and you are a strong person but regardless its a very scary thing to take in. I will be sending my best thoughts your way.

Thanks!! My surgeon joked that I was an old pro at this, having been through it once before. I could think of a million things I'd love to "do again" before brain surgery! :roflmao:

 

[elis]

I looked up the surgery - it does look scary but from what I was reading it has a really high success rate. My prayers will be with you!

 

[nicholas:)]

Feel the excitement of a joyous outcome

 

[qtowngirl]

And to go through it twice would just push a normal person over the edge!

so true pita. we're all pretty friggin strong here :rock:

 

[CQ:)]

Hi 2ndchances,

I know the date to your surgery is getting closer (I forgot the actual date ) so wanted to wish you good luck & hope your recovery goes well.

 

[qtowngirl]

hey cq it's all good, she's going to kick E's ass aren't ya girl!!
the surgery is monday morning, april 29. we'll def have a thread going just for her

 

[CQ:)]

hey cq it's all good, she's going to kick E's ass aren't ya girl!!
the surgery is monday morning, april 29. we'll def have a thread going just for her

Thanks Qtown,
Since us Aussies are a day ahead of you guys that will be Tuesday for me so must remember to think of 2nd chances on Tuesday.

 

[elis]

Next Monday, ok my thoughts and prayers are definitely with ya girl

 

[Cint]

Hi 2ndchances,

I know the date to your surgery is getting closer (I forgot the actual date ) so wanted to wish you good luck & hope your recovery goes well.

:agree: and I send :hugs: your way. Stay STRONG!!

 

[Crash]

Yep,best off luck from Scotland lass!!! Im sure you will be back here in no time 2ndchances,:hugs:

 

[2ndchances]

... she's going to kick E's ass aren't ya girl!!
the surgery is monday morning, april 29. we'll def have a thread going just for her

...damn right I will be, and I have a shirt that says just that! :bigsmile: Thanks so much everyone. My husband got into town on Tuesday, my brother is coming tomorrow, and my mom on Saturday. It's all pretty surreal most of the time... right now I'm trying to fight off a cold I feel coming on as best I can!