sleep is for the weak. not.

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mommymela

mommymela

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Why do I so often find myself staying up most of the night even though it triggers seizures? I have ambien but I'm scared to take it. Or maybe I just don't want to take it. I have never liked pills and already have to take lamictal and xanax. 1:15 and I'm wide awake as usual. I even worked out, ran, and took the kids to the playground and Walmart today. Shouldn't I be tired? I know there's an insomnia thread somewhere on here but I can't find it. Sigh. Back to californication.
 
Oh dear. Nothing worse than not being able to sleep. Have you tried Chamomile tea? Just be aware it can be a diuretic but it does seem to calm me down a few hours before bed. Hot bath?

Yes, after that day you should be tired lol. I assume you exercised in the morning? I only ask because exercising after dark and wake your body up again.
 
Wobblez said:
Oh dear. Nothing worse than not being able to sleep. Have you tried Chamomile tea? Just be aware it can be a diuretic but it does seem to calm me down a few hours before bed. Hot bath?

Yes, after that day you should be tired lol. I assume you exercised in the morning? I only ask because exercising after dark and wake your body up again.
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Yes ma'am I always get my workouts done in the morning, that way I can escape the unbearable heat. I'll buy some chamomile in the morning. I miss my jacuzzi in my old condo that I could afford with my old job. I think a lot about seeing a psychiatrist because I constantly think about my shitty life growing up and all the shitty mistakes I've mad. Hence the xanax that keeps me from constant panic attacks. Maybe I should be on anti depressants but that's just another fucking pill. I'm tired of being fake happy and plastering a fake smile on for my boy's sake. It hurts every day that their dad isn't involved or here to help me. I'm just sad. I hope I get over this soon, so many people have it worse than me and I need to just sick it up and deal with it. Thank you for your helpful reply darlin .
 
I used to have an issue about lack and not sleeping,
so my phsyc put me on Trazodone, it seems to work well.:idea:
 
Ok Mommymela, I'm about to get all counsellor on your ass because A) I care and B) I'm studying this stuff. Therefore I'm right and you must listen =)

Good on your for doing workouts in the morning, I don't work out at all!

Jacuzzis rock. If you get another one, I'm coming over.

Can you speak to your GP about maybe seeing a counsellor or a psychologist? You probably don't need to see a psychiatrist, that usually requires a referral from a psychologist unless you are very distressed and at risk of self harm or require medication immediately.

You mentioned you "constantly think about my shitty life growing up and all the shitty mistakes I've made". We all make mistakes. But keep in mind mistakes are what make you who you are. It's not what mistakes you make, it's how you learn from them that's important.

I'm sorry you've had a shitty upbringing. Maybe that is worth looking into as its obviously bothering you lately. It's amazing what talking to a qualified psychologist can do to help you organize your thoughts and put old demons to rest. Panic attacks and can be quite easily fixed. Do you know what causes them? A little investigation with a psychologist can reveal so much and once you can acknowledge something, you can fix it. Therapy is also a lot more effective and healthier anti-depressants but sometimes they are worthwhile, especially for us shaky people who need to offset the damage stress can do, versus "another fucking pill" Totally agree on that sentiment.

"I'm tired of being fake happy and plastering a fake smile on for my boy's sake". Yeah this sucks. It's okay to show sadness in front of your boys because it teaches them that it's part of life but it can be overcome. Give yourself permission to be sad too. We can't be happy all the time. Yes, others have it much worse than us sometimes but that's not really helpful when your down. It's like saying "plenty more fish in the sea!" It's true but it completely rejects what you're feeling and its not fair. You have a right to feel like sh*t and it doesn't make you ungrateful or selfish. You do have a responsibility to yourself to try and fix it though =)

Can you write down how your feeling each day? Sometimes it feels like we ALWAYS feel like crap but when you look at the sad or smiley faces on the calendar, you realize its just an illusion and you do have good days. It may also reveal patterns and allow you to express yourself. Do something you love, have time to yourself and have a good cry. Now, my most important point. EAT CHOCOLATE. XXX
 
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