Spanking a child is wrong

[AndrewIrish]

I will say this; I have been in my nieces life all day everyday since she was born practically - but now she is 2 and a half and since she turned two every other member of my family is spanking her everyday for everything she does wrong - yesterday my father swatted her 150 times in the span of half an hour - and every time her mother spanks her she gets 5-10 quick angry seats - this shit is wrong and the entire principle of spanking a child sickens me - all people deserve the preservation I their physical integrity and children are people too - if I saw a dog get "swatted" like this in public I would. Call the cops but if it is a little toddler everyone suddenly goes blind - there are less primal and more effective ways of disciplining and nurturing a child then causing them pain. I guess I am just looking for an agreeable ear because in thee Midwest every parent beats the holy hell out of their kid with a smile on their face

 

[Nakamova]

I agree with you 100% -- spanking like that can be really bad for the kid short-term and long-term. Animals don't get treated that way!

 

[Silat]

"Spare the rod, spoil the child"
Welcome to the Bible Belt!

I got swatted a few times, but since our family recently came to the US from Germany, that wasn't how our family did things.

I did get my butt beaten one time when I tried to run out into traffic. But honestly, I deserved that one. They told me not to, and I decided, at 5 years old, I'd show them I was going to anyway... even I think I deserved that swatting

 

[huskymom]

I agree to part of the statement. I really can't stand to see children running amuck in a restaruant or other places. I think a lot of parents want to be their child's friend. Not this cookie. When my boys were small, they would get a swat if they did something they were told not to do, after several warnings. Granted, this did not happen often, but the child needs to know that there are circumstances to their actions. Of course now you could withhold some type of technology, but I have seen my nieces work around that too. I am not for abuse at all!!! But, a reminder is never a bad idea.

 

[epileric]

Funny how I should find this post right after reading this article.

Andrew, maybe you should print a few copies of this article to hand out or leave around the house for others to find.

Spanking may be linked to later mental disorders

 

[Eli]

Since it was brought up....after the epilepsy center received my childhood records from John Hopkins, re: my childhood "head injury." The epi dr said it looked like sbs (shaken baby syndrome) and not the bs excuse that my parents gave the drs at the time.

So yes, I'm a firm believer in not taking your parental anger out on your children, even if it is "just their bottom."

 

[Eli]

Forgot to mention...thus the suspected source of my brain scarring.

 

[little fruitcake]

My children are 31 and 26. They were never spanked. My daughter and I were just talking about this today. They are both responsible, productive adults. I'm so proud of both of them. My son could call his mother more!

 

[Screamy]

Choosing to stay away from this topic.
want personal info AndrewIrish..... PM me....

 

[Rae1889]

Yeah I don't agree with this non spanking. Where I live, kids who weren't spanked are ignorant, rude and spoiled. They get away with everything and have no sense of right or wrong. I was spanked. In fact I got the wooden spoona few times and I turned out fine. In fact I have a better understanding of responsibility and consequence because of it. When I have kids, they will get spanked. But I will say, there is a difference between spanking a child for discipline during certain situations, versus beating and abusing a child. My cats get a breif swat when I catch the pissing on the carpet or scratching the couch and they don't listen to "no" the first 3 times.

So like screamy, I will leave my statement at that as to not start an argument

 

[Abynorml]

If one needs to rely on physical threat of harm then they really don't have their child's respect, they have their child's fear, this goes for animals too, intimidation and fear does not make children respectful or well mannered, it simply means the parent has found a way to force a behavior. And all to often the punishment is done in anger and frustration, and teaches children it's ok to be physically violent towards others.
I'm not saying children shouldn't have discipline and clear boundaries and expectations of how to behave in public.

 

[Maidenminx]

Andrew, I feel for your niece and also for you for having to endure the heartbreak of watching a child you care about have her trust in adults disintegrate.

Physical punishment should only ever be used to deter the child from hurting themselves, like Silat getting swatted for trying to run on the road. I personally slap my son on the back of his hand if he needs it. Being a visual child, he sees my expression, he sees his hand get slapped so he knows for a fact that he had been hurt for a reason. I'm also not adverse to comforting him afterwards. Some people think that defeats the purpose but I think it reinforces that he did something wrong.

 

[Abynorml]

What really bothers me is people who brag about beating a child for misbehavior, like its an accomplishment.

 

[seizingbeauty]

Andrew,
I have my own views on this too and don't feel able to get into the middle of this fray. But if you feel that what is being done to your neice is wrong, contact the local child protective svc.

 

[little fruitcake]

Aby, thanks I agree.

 

[lottalead]

spanking is not wrong! it works very well and you can do it without hurting a child!!
it worked for centuries and taught children to listen and respect
like everything that works well on anything for anything,if you abuse it then it becomes wrong

 

[Loopy Lou]

Spanking... maybe.

But when the belt with the buckle gets brought out and you have to take a week off school because of it....

Where do you draw the line? It's probably better never to start.

 

[KimHen5]

The last time I spanked my oldest daughter was when she was five, because she'd hit her little sister. I swatted her little bum & said "We don't hit!". Then I wondered what the hell I was teaching her by hitting her for hitting someone else. I found taking tv privileges worked way better!

 

[knothing]

All methods of discipline (even withholding) when used incorrectly do not work. I use what I deem to be appropriate within their mom's approval and never do anything out of anger. I have withheld, spanked, and used 'timeout'. Every time an action is taken there is no doubt to them that what was told would happen did happen. There is always a talk before that makes it more effective in understanding a consequence comes with actions. Then when after the crying or time is up we have a talk again to reinforce consequence. After it is all said and done they know we love them and that the behavior that created this is a choice that does not define who they are.
All and all it has worked but only in balance and calm.

 

[aliciagrange]

I don't feel spanking is wrong, but I grew up in the South. I see a lot of children in my community that don't seem to know the first thing about respect and manners and I think its a shame. In the long run, its these children who will pay the price because they were never taught how to behave around others.

I think it should be used sparingly and only for behavior that is so serious a parent believes they must send a quick message that it won't be tolerated.

I spanked my own children (rarely) and I don't regret it.