Stress is not good for me!

[momof3boys]

I do have a busy life, being a mom of three little boys. But when it comes to family life, like my siblings, I dont know what to do. I have been having some issues with my two younger sisters. I was watching my niece who is 1 for my sister since October. It was only one day a week, but Ive always felt like she was using me. We never talk or do things like sisters do. She asked me if I could watch her on thursday of each week, her knowing that "our weekends" are Monday and Tuesday. Those are the days my husband has off, and for me, its the days I can get out and do things we need to get done, like grocery shopping, dr appointments, etc. As the months went on, I felt like the only time my sister called me was for me to watch her child. Monday she called asking me to watch her child on tuesday. One of my "busy days". It just makes me angry and stressed out so much to think I keep feeling this way. I had to tell her how i was feeling, but wouldnt want to leave her hanging. So I told her I would watch her little girl tomorrow, but I just cant continue to watch her child if she is going to treat me this way. She got mad and told me not to ever watch her child again.

And my littlest sister lied to me and blocked me from her Facebook. She is siding with my other sister, so those two are ganging up together.

How I wish they would just both grow up and start acting like human beings!

I have a life of my own and the last thing I need is stress in my life right now.


Sorry... I just had to get this out.

 

[Kaitybugsmom]

**hugs** Sorry I have a sister and we dont talk. I just cant handle her in my life. I was bummed about it for a little bit, but then the longer it went that we had no contact the easier things became. Now when others talk about her I can kind of *snicker* on the inside and smile on the outside and say "thank goodness its you". Hope you weather through this storm quickly without to many rough seas.

 

[Kaitybugsmom]

And by the way...I think you were right to hold your ground and tell her how you feel. If she can't understand or accept that then its her deal not yours. Don't let her make you feel like its your fault.

 

[momof3boys]

Thank you.

I hope we can just get through this without it getting anymore ugly than it already is. What hurts the most is that she is saying lies to our grandmother. She told our grandmother that our mom told me not to watch her child no longer. Which is a lie. I just dont like the feeling of being used. I wish she would treat me how she treats our littlest sister. They are always hanging out, calling each other, etc. But for me, she only comes to me when she needs me for something. Never to say hi, ask how Im doing. Nothing.

As for my littlest sister, I found out today she lied and said she deactivated her FB account. She just blocked me. Turned out she has a full page up for everyone but me to see. I dont see why I have to be treated this way... I dont know what I did to deserve this.

 

[momof3boys]

And by the way...I think you were right to hold your ground and tell her how you feel. If she can't understand or accept that then its her deal not yours. Don't let her make you feel like its your fault.

Thanks. I kept telling myself through out the months that I had to tell her this. I just felt bad for her because she is trying to get out on her own with her two little girls, and she needed help with someone watching her youngest. So I just put all those feelings aside, but when she called me monday asking me to watch her on my busy day, it all came back and I realized at that point what she really is doing. She doesnt care if I have a busy day scheduled, as long as it works for her, thats all that matters. I know its not my fault. I just wish they would come to their senses and act their own ages.

 

[Nakamova]

I think one of the most frustrating things in the world is dealing with folks who are spreading lies about you. You have my sympathies, and hopes that you can find a truer set of "siblings" elsewhere.

 

[momof3boys]

Thank you Nakamova. I agree with you 100%!

 

[Meetz1064]

You could

consider us your siblings instead........

My sisters and I don't talk much either. And the reasons aren't exactly the same, but sort of similar.......

 

[Cint]

I dont see why I have to be treated this way... I dont know what I did to deserve this.

What you did was stood up to your sister and told her the truth. You have to set boundaries for you and your family for the sake of your health. Your sister needs to reflect on this issue some. What would she do if she were the one who had epilepsy. Stick to your guns and don't let any of them bring you down.

 

[momof3boys]

What you did was stood up to your sister and told her the truth. You have to set boundaries for you and your family for the sake of your health. Your sister needs to reflect on this issue some. What would she do if she were the one who had epilepsy. Stick to your guns and don't let any of them bring you down.

I woke up this morning thinking the same thing. She lied to our grandma saying our mom told me not to watch her child. I got frustrated knowing she told a lie to our own grandmother. So I said to hell with it. Why should I keep thinking about all the lies she tells behind my back? I have a beautiful family who loves me and I dont need the stress of thinking about what things my sister will say next about me. She is at a point in her life, where she puts herself first and only focuses on things that best fits her. I hope she can change for the best, but in the meantime, Im not going to worry about her. She is a grown woman with two children, and Im a grown woman with three children and a husband. I will for sure stick to my guns and not let her bring me down! :woot:

 

[jyearta]

You are the only one who can speak up for yourself. I think you handle a bad situation the best that it could be handled.

It's not easy to confront someone, but you have to take care of yourself and your family.

In reading your post, you want to help your sister, there is a difference in helping and letting someone use you. I wish your sister's heart was like yours, that she would want to help you also.

As someone said early, Let us are your family---I know it not the same.

 

[momof3boys]

Yeah as the months went by, I could easily start to see her only contacting me when she needed me. Not to see how I was doing, or the kids, or to hang out. She is 28 years old with two kids, and our youngest sister is 18. They both are together NON STOP. Im all for hanging out with sisters and all... but there is a line that has to be drawn when you have resposibilities such as children to care for. One thing I dont agree with, is my two little sisters going out to club together on the weekends and letting our parents care for her children. Both of my sisters live with our parents and the situation is getting pretty ugly. My sister who is 28 cant afford housing on her own, and has been living with our parents for the past two years. In that time frame, she and my littlest sister has become very close and for their age gap, (10 years) my sister who has the children doesnt act her age at all. She acts like shes a teenager. She likes things to go her way, and doesnt think of what it might cause things to be like for the person who is "helping her". Ive had enough. She has to handle things on her own. If I keep continuing to help her out, she is never going to learn how to be responsible on her own.

Thank you Meetz and Jyearta, I so much think of all of you here at CWE as my family!

 

[LJ-Bain]

Family is soooo complicated.
You love them but you don't always like them that is for sure.
Good for you for standing up for yourself and letting your voice be heard.
It sounds like your sister is playing games and that can be so exhausting.
I wish people would just be upfront.
It must be especially tough when your little niece is in the middle.
I hope the air clears for you soon.

 

[momof3boys]

Thank you LJ-Bain.

Im hoping things get better too. I love my niece to death, but I hate feeling like this. I did offer to watch her today, but her mother called me yesterday angry and telling me not to watch her ever again. She told our grandma she had a gf of her's lined up to watch her. But I believe that was a lie because she called into work this morning and stayed home with her youngest. I dont want to see her lose her job, but she's old enough to make her own decisions.

 

[valeriedl]

Alot of people just think about what's best for themselves and not how it effects other people. As long as they get what they want then nothing else matteres!

Your sisters need to grow up. I know it's hard but you have to say no sometimes. The older one can live like a kid because she doesn't need to worry about things, she can find someone else to worry about them for her. When the youngest one ends up with kids and a real life, trying to find someone to help her out with her family and can't, hopefully she'll realize what she did.

As for Face Book, I think it's one of the most supidest things ever invented. All people do is get on there and brag about themselves and make fun of others. I even know people who have accounts for their pets! Now tell me who's dog is going to beable to get up on the computer and type out what they did that day - got to pee against a new tree????

 

[momof3boys]

Alot of people just think about what's best for themselves and not how it effects other people. As long as they get what they want then nothing else matteres!

Your sisters need to grow up. I know it's hard but you have to say no sometimes. The older one can live like a kid because she doesn't need to worry about things, she can find someone else to worry about them for her. When the youngest one ends up with kids and a real life, trying to find someone to help her out with her family and can't, hopefully she'll realize what she did.

As for Face Book, I think it's one of the most supidest things ever invented. All people do is get on there and brag about themselves and make fun of others. I even know people who have accounts for their pets! Now tell me who's dog is going to beable to get up on the computer and type out what they did that day - got to pee against a new tree????

You're right about them needing to grow up and make their own decisions. Ive spoke with my mom about it and she agrees with me too. There comes a time in everyone's life where they need to step up to the plate and learn to make their own choices in life and learn responsibility. My sister's oldest daughter will be 6 in July. Ever since she was born, she has relied on our parents, her ex-bf who was very abusive to them, and who is now in the process of going through child support, which she hasnt recieved anything for yet. Thats just one thing she will throw out to others as an exscuse to help her out with. There's alot of things I can list that my sister uses to make everyone feel sorry for her. I fell in that trap, and now Im done with it. She's only 2.5 years younger than I am. She has two kids, I have three kids. Heck Ive been out living on my own since the age of 18! Almost 13 years now! She had been living with her ex-bf for a few years and then moved back into our parents house, where she is now. Its just getting crazy over there. I dont even want to be around them. I know it sounds bad, but I dont want to stress myself out, but at the same time I'd like to visit our parents too. So it kind of puts me in a hard spot. As for our littlest sister, I hope she doesnt take the same path my other sister did. She got pregnant with two of her kids with the stupidest man on earth, and now doesnt have the money to get out on her own and depends on everyone around her to help her. Thats no way I would want to live.

OMG... why in the world would someone have their pet on FB? That is crazy! :roflmao: