Suffering a case of TMI

[Maidenminx]

or maybe too little information. I don't know. I do know I don't trust my brain and when it's my brain feeding me this thought I freak myself out.

So at the end February I was diagnosed with temporal lobe epilepsy after having 2 TCs 4 months apart. The first tc was back in September and was witnessed by my hubby and saw me sent to ER in an ambulance. I have a patchy memory of the experience and everything after. I had the other at the beginning of February at the bus stop.

When I saw the neurologist he told me it was likely that I had had more seizures than those two, which got me reading and researching. Now I don't know what's a seizure and what is just my usual vaugeness. Have I had epilepsy for longer than I have known? My son has autism and in my research for that I began to wonder if I had aspergers. Could my aspergers like symptoms be epilepsy related?

Because of my sons condition it has been hard for me to work. He is now settled into a good school and I was looking at working this year. How am I supposed to do that now? My energy level is flat, I am scared of having another tc in public, I can't even keep the house clean any more.

I've always suffered depression and anxiety and things have always been a battle that a felt I was starting to win. I don't want this battle.

To top it off, I have to ask myself how much of this I did to myself. I rather enjoyed chemical indulgences when I was younger... But having said that I am certain the amount of energy drinks I have consumed in the last 15 or so years have also contributed.

I'm sorry for the self pitying ramble. I'm not sure how to handle all of this...

 

[RobinN]

Consider supplementing with vitamins and minerals. You might see your energy improve, your emotional health improve and seizure reduction.
A few to consider:
Vit D (5,000IU min)
Zinc (doing research on #)
Omega 3 - 2000mg
Magnesium 400-800mg
Taurine

My daughter has had 50+ tonic clonic seizures and is working and going to school.
Sometimes you have to get back up, and put one foot in front of the other.

Don't beat yourself up for what was done in the past. From today forward make different choices.

Start with nutrition.

 

[epileric]

Consider supplementing with vitamins and minerals. You might see your energy improve, your emotional health improve and seizure reduction.
A few to consider:
Vit D (5,000IU min)
Zinc (doing research on #)
Omega 3 - 2000mg
Magnesium 400-800mg
Taurine

Just be careful & know that the maximum to be tolerated by an adult is 4,000 IU. http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/fn-an/nutrition/vitamin/vita-d-eng.php#t2

The recommended daily allowance of Magnesium for an adult Male is 420 mg & an adult female 320 mg http://www.acu-cell.com/acn2.html

Do be careful because certain vitamins can cause problems if taken in large amounts. I would research the recommended daily allowance for all vitamins & supplements you intend to use for the appropriate age group.

Also make sure that if you get your Omega 3 from fish oil

Fish oil is safe for most people. It can cause side effects including belching, bad breath, heartburn, nausea, loose stools, rash, and nosebleeds. Taking fish oil supplements with meals or freezing them can often decrease these side effects. Some fish meats are contaminated with mercury and other industrial and environmental chemicals. Fish oil supplements typically do not contain these contaminants.

Taking fish oil supplements can increase levels of the "bad" LDL cholesterol in some people. You will need blood tests periodically to ensure LDL cholesterols do not become too high.

High doses of fish oil might keep blood from clotting and can INCREASE the chance of bleeding.

Do not take fish oil if:

You have liver disease.
You are allergic to fish or seafood.
You have a condition called bipolar disorder.
You have an implantable defibrillator (a surgically placed device to prevent irregular heartbeat).

http://www.rxlist.com/fish_oil-page2/supplements.htm#SafetyConcerns

As well there has been no scientific evidence that any of those supplements give you more energy or better emotional health unless you are deficient.

 

[Maidenminx]

Yeah, I'm not deficient in anything so unfortunately that doesn't help. But thank you anyway.

On the work front it's not just the fear of having a tc in public that throws me, it also exacerbates my lack of confidence. In the last 8 years my work record has been sporadic due to my boy and I require a lot of flexibility from an employer because of him too. To require extra flexibility for myself doesn't help. I've also pretty much only worked in hospitality and my neurologist has suggested looking in other areas, so yeah, my confidence is slashed and the jobs available locally are unsuitable.

I'm just tired and mopey and I'm sure I'll feel better soon.

 

[qtowngirl]

To top it off, I have to ask myself how much of this I did to myself. I rather enjoyed chemical indulgences when I was younger...

Welcome Maidenminx!
Don't stress too much about this; I had this exact discussion with my epileptologist recently and she dismissed 'the past' entirely. In fact, years ago when I had my first grand mal it was within two days of a big cocaine/drinking night, so the ER docs and nurses chalked it up to that and sent me home after checking everything out. 3 months later I had a second grand mal and when I seen the neurologist he also dismissed the drug factor, said the first one was just a coincidence and that now after two seizures I in fact had epilepsy.
You're dealing with enough right now my dear, try to take all the little monkeys off your back that you can, because as I say the specialists tell me this isn't one.

 

[Maidenminx]

Thanks qtowngirl. I actually had my very first grand mal while on mushrooms about 14 years ago. My neurologist doesn't count it as relevant as it was so many years ago.

 

[petero]

except for having a son I could have typed the exact same sentiment you have.
it sounds so dead-on I wonder if you might even be a part of some scheme to affect me for some reason by trying to gain my trust. f*d^2up
funny thing too about the past chemical indulgences that there is zero relevance in timeframe. I was a heavy drinker too. the only correllation event in time is having gotten an iPhone at the same timeperiod I started having seizures.
faint recollections during seizure periods is not fun. it still feels like my mind is trying to put in the proper blocks of narrative to fill in gaps, so much so that it's getting harder to figure out what was hazy recollection, what is hazy narrative fill, and what is reality, based on the fact that reality seems to get so pliable with relative narrative of recollection, past, present, what is present experience based on deja and jamais experiences... and if a reality even matters anymore or if I'm even a part of it anymore, if I have powers of prescience even.
I'm with-it enough to realize I might be experiencing an 'active' timeframe, so I chill out. But maybe other times I am still having an 'active' timeframe but may not be aware of it?
having this place to come and convey stuff has been a help.
later-age onset of seizures must be its own special animal compared to lifelong, or early age onset. into the point at which I thought I had the powers to make logical interpretations and decisions, and then get to reevaluate what 'normal' is entirely, and what 'perspective' is entirely, and get to reevaluate what I'd thought was 'reality' up to this point, and realize maybe I wasn't even close to knowing what it was for years, maybe my entire life if I've had undiagnosed epilepsy all along...
same boat, or is it a boat, does the stream even exist?

 

[Maidenminx]

Petero, you made me giggle. Thank you for that.

Reality is a bitch, isn't it? I spent a lot of time as a teen trying to escape reality, just when I get comfortable with it, it recedes into the back ground. If it weren't for my son and husband I would have no idea what reality is any more...

One thing I have found to be very strange and unnerving is how many similarities there are between partial seizures in TLE and what I had previously deemed spiritual experiences. My severe deja vu experiences have always made me feel 'on path', my out of body experiences reinforced my belief in an afterlife. Now I don't know what to think or believe. Is spiritualism the result of a faulty mind or is epilepsy a name for that which cannot be understood?

If the stream exists then I'd like to think we're on an old steam barge rather than flimsy little boats.

 

[petero]

I am psychic