It's so great to finally find a site where I can find people like me!
I hope people find this useful either for themselves or for someone they care for or just simply for research....
As promised Here is my story....
During my pregnancy and especially after I gave birth i suffered so SO much and went through unimaginable mental pain that i would not even wish upon my worst enemy!
It turns out i was taking pill after pill (13 different kinds of anti depressant and anti anxiety meds) and I'd been suffering from Temporal Lobe Epilepsy .
How did it start? ..... I first became very agitated, so agitated I couldn't even read a book or sit still to watch tv or anything on screen, then i developped weird crying jaggs and severe anxiety (that i had never experienced before) that would stem from nowhere and also insomnia.
Because I had a history of anxiety doctors pinned it down to my history of mental health that turned worse due to "hormones" (ofcourse they would just say that, you know women turn crazy when they're hormonal pfff)
I tried to be patient in the hope that when I gave birth all would be gone. After all my firends and family were showering me with stories of women they knew that were "not well" during their pregnancy" and went back to "their old selves" after birth".
Upon giving birth I still felt agitated, i though its too early just give it a couple of hours....
That night i didn't get a wink of sleep
When i saw my son i felt nothing.
On the 3rd day i still didn't get any sleep....i was drained, mentally and physically, i still felt nothing for my son, i still felt sad and very agitated and the insomnia...well you understand what it's like not to sleep! PLus i'd just given birth!
My crying jags became so bad i starting wailing..
I was put on anxiety meds and very high doses of anti depressants, on the thrid day of this prescription i felt that something was wrong.
around 4 in the afternoon i warned my sister that i was not well, i told her i felt brain zaps, i felt like my brain was switching, I would feel very angry, then very sad, then calm then really anxious it was SO scary....like when a computer or a robot crashes you know?!
I measured my blood pressure and it was unbelievable high....
At 9 in the evening i had my first seizure, it lasted around 7 minutes I salivted, bit my tongue and lost consciousness for a while. I felt pretty numb afterwards....i thought I was relieved but little did I kniw this was the beggining of HELL.
I was told not take any medication for a week just incase i got another seizure. I was so scared of not sleeping, but through some miracle of God i slept well. After 8 days I selpt well and felt Ok and I was even able to breastfeed my kid.
But then things started to become weird, on one particualr night I felt very anxious and could not sleep I was wide awake. Infact I'd felt weird throughout the day and knew i was not going to sleep that night...
I also exprienced weird visula distortions when i closed my eyes (large shapes would grow and change size and vibrant colours would flash preventing me from sleeping).
In the morning I starting feeling nausea and sadness, the sadness built up until I exploded and started screaming from the pain.
Since then things started to get worse but eventually started to form a pattern.
The "aura" began like this: I would feel "uneasy" ....the uneasiness would buildup to become extreme anxiety, unbearable, I'd have insomnia, I'd have intense crying jags and I'd feel violent, extremely violent towards myself. This violence would send images flashing through my brain, scary violent images that i'd rather not describe. Some of my physical symptoms include burning up (ALWAYS), high blood pressure and staring into space.
So all of these symptoms would build up ( a bit like an orgasm haha!) until they reach their climax, at which point I stay away from anyone and grab something to release the tension, i cry a lot for a very long time and then i stare into space for what seems like forever.....and THIS i believe is MY seizure atleast MY form of seizure, temporal lobe seizure.
I now know that I was experiencing "auras"....they always began with an uneasy feeling in the afternoon which built up into anxiety and sadness followed by a horrible night of insomnia and end in the morning with what i believe (atleast according to the doctors) to be a seizure.
It took several weeks of suffering to actually go to a neruologist for this. Because my pschyastrist did not suspect anything neurological and the first neurologist I went to did not see the need to put me on anti epileptic meds. My EEG did show clear signs of epileptic behaviour but he said it was "normal" because it had been performed right after my seizure.
So I did another EEG a month after my very first seizure and I still had epileptic activity...I was put on lamotrigine after 8 days i was already better! HALLALUJAY.....B-U-T..... On the 13th day I started to develop a severe allergic reaction, spots and fever all over my body, i was scrathcing everywhere, i also had vision problems (dark spots and very bad dizziness and head rush i had to stop abruptly and change meds. All of my symptoms came back unfortunalty but luckily the new med: Topiramate worked just fine too.
After a month My pshcyiatrist and I decided it was time to start reducing the anti depressant as It was obvious the anti epilleptic meds were the solution. Unfornatly wiwthing a weeks I was a wreck and I have been since
So I've been diagnosed with "interictal dysphorique disorder" by my psychiatrist and Temporal Lobe Epilepsy by my Neuroligist.
Sooooo complicated
What are your thoughts?
Have you had a similar exprience, or do you know of someone like that?
I hope people find this useful either for themselves or for someone they care for or just simply for research....
As promised Here is my story....
During my pregnancy and especially after I gave birth i suffered so SO much and went through unimaginable mental pain that i would not even wish upon my worst enemy!
It turns out i was taking pill after pill (13 different kinds of anti depressant and anti anxiety meds) and I'd been suffering from Temporal Lobe Epilepsy .
How did it start? ..... I first became very agitated, so agitated I couldn't even read a book or sit still to watch tv or anything on screen, then i developped weird crying jaggs and severe anxiety (that i had never experienced before) that would stem from nowhere and also insomnia.
Because I had a history of anxiety doctors pinned it down to my history of mental health that turned worse due to "hormones" (ofcourse they would just say that, you know women turn crazy when they're hormonal pfff)
I tried to be patient in the hope that when I gave birth all would be gone. After all my firends and family were showering me with stories of women they knew that were "not well" during their pregnancy" and went back to "their old selves" after birth".
Upon giving birth I still felt agitated, i though its too early just give it a couple of hours....
That night i didn't get a wink of sleep
When i saw my son i felt nothing.
On the 3rd day i still didn't get any sleep....i was drained, mentally and physically, i still felt nothing for my son, i still felt sad and very agitated and the insomnia...well you understand what it's like not to sleep! PLus i'd just given birth!
My crying jags became so bad i starting wailing..
I was put on anxiety meds and very high doses of anti depressants, on the thrid day of this prescription i felt that something was wrong.
around 4 in the afternoon i warned my sister that i was not well, i told her i felt brain zaps, i felt like my brain was switching, I would feel very angry, then very sad, then calm then really anxious it was SO scary....like when a computer or a robot crashes you know?!
I measured my blood pressure and it was unbelievable high....
At 9 in the evening i had my first seizure, it lasted around 7 minutes I salivted, bit my tongue and lost consciousness for a while. I felt pretty numb afterwards....i thought I was relieved but little did I kniw this was the beggining of HELL.
I was told not take any medication for a week just incase i got another seizure. I was so scared of not sleeping, but through some miracle of God i slept well. After 8 days I selpt well and felt Ok and I was even able to breastfeed my kid.
But then things started to become weird, on one particualr night I felt very anxious and could not sleep I was wide awake. Infact I'd felt weird throughout the day and knew i was not going to sleep that night...
I also exprienced weird visula distortions when i closed my eyes (large shapes would grow and change size and vibrant colours would flash preventing me from sleeping).
In the morning I starting feeling nausea and sadness, the sadness built up until I exploded and started screaming from the pain.
Since then things started to get worse but eventually started to form a pattern.
The "aura" began like this: I would feel "uneasy" ....the uneasiness would buildup to become extreme anxiety, unbearable, I'd have insomnia, I'd have intense crying jags and I'd feel violent, extremely violent towards myself. This violence would send images flashing through my brain, scary violent images that i'd rather not describe. Some of my physical symptoms include burning up (ALWAYS), high blood pressure and staring into space.
So all of these symptoms would build up ( a bit like an orgasm haha!) until they reach their climax, at which point I stay away from anyone and grab something to release the tension, i cry a lot for a very long time and then i stare into space for what seems like forever.....and THIS i believe is MY seizure atleast MY form of seizure, temporal lobe seizure.
I now know that I was experiencing "auras"....they always began with an uneasy feeling in the afternoon which built up into anxiety and sadness followed by a horrible night of insomnia and end in the morning with what i believe (atleast according to the doctors) to be a seizure.
It took several weeks of suffering to actually go to a neruologist for this. Because my pschyastrist did not suspect anything neurological and the first neurologist I went to did not see the need to put me on anti epileptic meds. My EEG did show clear signs of epileptic behaviour but he said it was "normal" because it had been performed right after my seizure.
So I did another EEG a month after my very first seizure and I still had epileptic activity...I was put on lamotrigine after 8 days i was already better! HALLALUJAY.....B-U-T..... On the 13th day I started to develop a severe allergic reaction, spots and fever all over my body, i was scrathcing everywhere, i also had vision problems (dark spots and very bad dizziness and head rush i had to stop abruptly and change meds. All of my symptoms came back unfortunalty but luckily the new med: Topiramate worked just fine too.
After a month My pshcyiatrist and I decided it was time to start reducing the anti depressant as It was obvious the anti epilleptic meds were the solution. Unfornatly wiwthing a weeks I was a wreck and I have been since
So I've been diagnosed with "interictal dysphorique disorder" by my psychiatrist and Temporal Lobe Epilepsy by my Neuroligist.
Sooooo complicated
What are your thoughts?
Have you had a similar exprience, or do you know of someone like that?
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