CQ,
It’s great that you have started to find hobbies and exercise. It can make a big difference. Brain exercises are good too. When it comes to exercise, you start off slowly and gradually increase. I got back into exercise about 2 1/2 years ago. I gradually increased distance and faster speed came natural over time. I now do a mile in about 17 minutes and that’s with hills. I do a minimum of three miles and maximum of 7 miles on a walk/run. I know my limitations. I average about 15 miles a week. It’s not just about the exercise. I enjoy being outdoors and nature which also has a great effect on our mental health. I also enjoy hiking. I don’t let the cold stop me but I live in Atlanta, GA so it’s not as brutal as the north. I’ll go for a walk/run when it’s 30 degrees out even though I don’t like the cold. I’ll even walk/run in a light rain. I also run in the summer when it’s hot, but I try to get out earlier in the morning.
I always have the option of using a treadmill, but it’s not the same as being outdoors.
I’ve had epilepsy my entire life, as well, but I wasn’t actually diagnosed until I was 21 years old. I had a grand mal the day I was born. I think they may have done tests at the time and didn’t find anything. So, then that was that and it was dismissed I guess. I did’t have another grand mal until I was 21, but I had complex partial seizures all or practically all my life. I can remember having them as far back as 7 years old. It was probably very difficult for me to describe them at a young age. I can remember describing them to my doctor at 12 years old and he assumed they were anxiety attacks because intense fear is my aura. As a teenager, I knew they were not anxiety attacks because of other symptoms and my state of consciousness being altered. I didn’t know what was wrong with me and thought I was crazy when I was a teenager. I thought I was the only one in the world to experience what I experienced. I saw a neurologist for the first time when I had the grand mal at age 21. I described my “attacks” to the neurologist and he said they were complex partial seizures. EEG confirmed. My parents then told me about the grand mal the day I was born. So, I went through my entire childhood and adolescence undiagnosed/misdiagnosed which is so f——d up (excuse my French). Things could have possibly been very different for me if I was diagnosed as a child.
I’ve had anxiety most of my life, but lived in denial when I was younger. As a kid and a teenager, I was always about being tough; especially, as a teenager. I started doing drugs when I was only 13 years old and that helped mask and deal with the anxiety and depression. I also had a lot of anger issues. Anger was my defense mechanism. It was easier for me to deal with anger than emotional pain. I continued partying for 10 years, but I can proudly say I’m about to celebrate 31 years of sobriety in a few weeks. I didn’t realize when I was younger, but I actually have bipolar disorder which also explains a lot about my life. Epilepsy surgery made my mental health issues a thousand times worse and I came to realize I had bipolar disorder and began to be open and honest about all my mental health issues and eventually seeked professional help and got diagnosed with bipolar disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. This was just a few years ago. I also have OCD which comes under the umbrella of anxiety disorders. But, instead of trying to hide these issues which can be exhausting I face them and am open with other people. It feels like a tremendous weight has been lifted off my shoulders. A weight I have carried most of my life.
Sorry, this post was so long.