Urgent !!! My GF !! HELP !

[limp22]

hello there well its my first post and i would like to share it with u


well im in a relationship for nearly a year and my gf is really a cute and lovely girl she do and did everything just to make me happy .. i want to marry her and i know i wont find a girl like her shes really like one of a kind .. and shes simply adorable, here parents too as well she loves me a lot more than i do love,and she knows that ... shes my style and i like everything in her ..

The problem is that she had epilepsy,she just told me this thing a few months ago .. i didnt notice and changes she so normal and she told me dont be afraid about our future everything will be ok im not that sick person and the doctor will stop the medicine before being married .. and she really mean it .. i really didnt notice any changes. she do many things in life without being affected from epilepsy she told me that shes sick but its kinda of scales and her scale is not something to be worried about .. and she will be fine ..she also told me that during her life she just had a couple of seizures the last one was back in 2005, im really worried about my future and specially after marriage and having babies .. im so confused with what to do ,complete my life with here or just try searching for excuses?! .. i need u help please or jus share your opinion with me

 

[Nakamova]

Hi limp22,

well im in a relationship for nearly a year and my gf is really a cute and lovely girl she do and did everything just to make me happy .. i want to marry her and i know i wont find a girl like her shes really like one of a kind

What's the question here? If you love her and expect her to be with you no matter what, then she should be able to expect the same of you. Whether she has epilepsy or not isn't particularly relevant. If you don't think you're up to the task of loving someone when the going gets tough, then you maybe you should bow out gracefully.

 

[Nakamova]

I apologize if the above sounds harsh. I know the word epilepsy can be scary, but your girlfriend doesn't sound scared, and she probably has a pretty good handle on how it fits into her daily life. If you have questions about what the future holds, you should be discussing them with her.

 

[limp22]

thanks alot for replying .. the problem or the question that i didnt know that she has epilepsy .. and im worried about future plans like marriage and having kids and maybe these kids will have epilepsy also .. and maybe we cant have babies .. well actually im a hesitant person .. but is it true that she not that sick .. i mean she only had 2 seizures in her life .. will she be fine .. and stop taking medicines as her doctor told her because she cant have birth with the medicine shes taking ..

 

[rich956]

What She said.Indeed:clap::clap::clap:
I married my Gf with no regrets,and she had tc siezures since she was a child. The only thing I can offer is : If you really love something , Personal issues dont matter. they kinda fade away.:twocents:
Ps .she did give birth to a healthy boy,who is now in college.

 

[limp22]

wooow thankx alot rich956 .. i really need this .. and i just wanted to share my opinion .. and see others opinion's

 

[alivenwell]

About the only serious med for pregnancy is valproic acid. Valproic acid should be avoided during a pregnancy. During my pregnancy, I had to gradually increase medications to maintain a constant amount in my bloodstream. Some medications cause a cleft palate (roof of the mouth) or cleft lip (crooked lip) which are both able to be corrected with plastic surgery.
I have a healthy kid who's also in college.
I understand your gf's position. She knew you may be afraid to know about the epilepsy and probably wanted you to get to know her without it first.

 

[limp22]

Thankx for the info alivenwell appreciated .. And yea as u said she's afraid .. But m also worried and m happy with ur posts .. So ur advice is to complete my life normally with her ? And do make it a big problem .. Can a person healed from epilepsy after a certain time?

 

[alivenwell]

Usually epilepsy is something permanent, but it can be controlled for some people with medication. Some people have a childhood case of epilepsy that seems to go away in their adulthood. Technically, somebody who has experienced at least 2 seizures has epilepsy. If she has only had 2 seizures, she's extremely lucky, in my opinion. Normal people can have seizures from high fevers, alcohol withdrawal, along with a few other reasons. How old was she when she had those 2 seizures? Babies can have one from a high fever (febrile) and still live without epilepsy.

She sounds like she wants to live a normal life (as normal as it will get). If she's one of a kind, then that may help a sound decision. Support her emotionally and protect her from injury during a seizure. Since you just found out about this, you may want to give yourself a certain timeframe to think it out thoroughly. Open communication is necessary here. Personally, she needs to continue with the medication if it has been working for 7 years. That's incredible.

 

[qtowngirl]

thanks alot for replying .. the problem or the question that i didnt know that she has epilepsy .. and im worried about future plans like marriage and having kids and maybe these kids will have epilepsy also .. and maybe we cant have babies .. well actually im a hesitant person .. but is it true that she not that sick .. i mean she only had 2 seizures in her life .. will she be fine .. and stop taking medicines as her doctor told her because she cant have birth with the medicine shes taking ..

Limp.
Shortly after I was diagnosed and went on meds (one that was not baby-friendly) I was sent to a neurosurgeon. It was in his office that my boyfriend (who I was madly in love with and planned marrying) and I were told of the certain risks that would be involved with pregnancy. I looked at my boyfriend and said, 'I can't do it. I don't want to do it it's too risky.'
He looked right back and said, 'We'll adopt.'

I never knew anyone who wanted to have a baby more than him, but I found out then and there that his love for me far exceeded anything. You need to really think about what you want and how much you love her, b/c once you bring a child into this world you can't take it back. If down the road your girlfriend's epilepsy gets worse and you have a child together your love has to be true. They don't say for better or worse for nothing.

 

[Bathtub]

Hi limp22 and good luck. Her faithful BF has been the best part of my daughter's support, although they aren't talking about marriage yet. Sometimes we make problems harder by worrying too much, and yes I am the expert at that.

For all sorts of reasons, some couples find they can't produce their own babies but there are so many other ways to be family. If not being able to have them would be that big a deal, then maybe you need to look at that separately? I know some cultures and some families view this differently, but that's my take. And it's also no reflection on your manhood, to take a right decision about parenting, for good and serious reasons.

I do totally understand your worry about the meds, it's big in my mind too. But at the end of the day you marry the GF/BF, 1+1, and children are an extra. Your solid relationship is then the ground that's good to nurture growing children, but it also nurtures the two of you as you mature, and enables you to develop and reach out to many others with your love. Again I'm not meaning to be harsh. If she's the best thing since sliced bread, then illness is just one of those challenges along your journey and be sure you will meet plenty more if you stick around long enough! You are so lucky to have found each other!

 

[Krista2882]

You said you love her and you want to marry her. It should be that simple. So she has Epilepsy. If she's only had two seizures in her life and she's on meds, there's not a lot to worry about. When the time comes for you to have kids together, she may be able to come off her medications. There may be a time in there that she will have to go back on meds because she starts having seizures again. She may need to switch medications in order to be on one that's safe for pregnancy. She will just need you there for support. Marriage is not "easy" for anyone. If it's not one thing, it's another. There are still unknowns when it comes to epilepsy. Seizures can change over time, she might have more or different kinds, but does that really matter? I've always thought that love should be enough. If you love her and really want to marry her, then you should be willing to go through everything with her. "For better or for worse, for sickness and in health..." right?

 

[c_comardelle]

Limp- I really enjoyed reading your post. My case is the opposite. I was just diagnosed with epilepsy 1 month ago. I have had 4 seizures in the last 6 months. I just turned 28 and was just hit with this. I have been married for 7 years and have 2 young children. The reason your post means so much to me is because I am having a hard time dealing with the change in my relationship. I know it has to be hard on my husband because he just doesn't understand whats happening. Like you he loves me to death and probably feels this way because there is nothing he can do to help me. He is just along for the ride. I just take it as "he doesn't care". I know how hard this can be to deal with but if you truly mean the things you say about her, it will all work out. It just needs a little time. And like previously stated by someone this will probably one of the smaller things you will have to deal with during a marriage! Good luck to you and I wish you all the best

 

[limp22]

Usually epilepsy is something permanent, but it can be controlled for some people with medication. Some people have a childhood case of epilepsy that seems to go away in their adulthood. Technically, somebody who has experienced at least 2 seizures has epilepsy. If she has only had 2 seizures, she's extremely lucky, in my opinion. Normal people can have seizures from high fevers, alcohol withdrawal, along with a few other reasons. How old was she when she had those 2 seizures? Babies can have one from a high fever (febrile) and still live without epilepsy.

thankx alot for your post well as i know she had 2 seizures in her life .. once when she was 8 years old .. the other one when she was 17 .. shes now 22 shes took medicine on daily bases .. and i said before her doctor told her that before marriage he will stop the medicine .. that makes me worry about my future cz i think if she stops taking the medicine she may have seizures agian .. with forgetting that she had i do if they are seizures but once she we were in a restaurant and she hold my hand and put her other hand on hear head for 2 mins and then she was fine .. i dont know what happened then .. and i think she have the tonic clonic seizure as she explained to me once .. what she did when she was 17 years old

 

[limp22]

Hi limp22 and good luck. Her faithful BF has been the best part of my daughter's support, although they aren't talking about marriage yet. Sometimes we make problems harder by worrying too much, and yes I am the expert at that.

For all sorts of reasons, some couples find they can't produce their own babies but there are so many other ways to be family. If not being able to have them would be that big a deal, then maybe you need to look at that separately? I know some cultures and some families view this differently, but that's my take. And it's also no reflection on your manhood, to take a right decision about parenting, for good and serious reasons.

I do totally understand your worry about the meds, it's big in my mind too. But at the end of the day you marry the GF/BF, 1+1, and children are an extra. Your solid relationship is then the ground that's good to nurture growing children, but it also nurtures the two of you as you mature, and enables you to develop and reach out to many others with your love. Again I'm not meaning to be harsh. If she's the best thing since sliced bread, then illness is just one of those challenges along your journey and be sure you will meet plenty more if you stick around long enough! You are so lucky to have found each other!

ohh really id like alot what u said .. but when it comes to worrying im number 1 in the world to worry about small thing before huge .. specially when it comes to health, my gf always told me sweety donot worry .. but i have to worry because i really love her..

 

[limp22]

You said you love her and you want to marry her. It should be that simple. So she has Epilepsy. If she's only had two seizures in her life and she's on meds, there's not a lot to worry about. When the time comes for you to have kids together, she may be able to come off her medications. There may be a time in there that she will have to go back on meds because she starts having seizures again. She may need to switch medications in order to be on one that's safe for pregnancy. She will just need you there for support. Marriage is not "easy" for anyone. If it's not one thing, it's another. There are still unknowns when it comes to epilepsy. Seizures can change over time, she might have more or different kinds, but does that really matter? I've always thought that love should be enough. If you love her and really want to marry her, then you should be willing to go through everything with her. "For better or for worse, for sickness and in health..." right?

you totally right with what u said .. convincing

 

[limp22]

Limp- I really enjoyed reading your post. My case is the opposite. I was just diagnosed with epilepsy 1 month ago. I have had 4 seizures in the last 6 months. I just turned 28 and was just hit with this. I have been married for 7 years and have 2 young children. The reason your post means so much to me is because I am having a hard time dealing with the change in my relationship. I know it has to be hard on my husband because he just doesn't understand whats happening. Like you he loves me to death and probably feels this way because there is nothing he can do to help me. He is just along for the ride. I just take it as "he doesn't care". I know how hard this can be to deal with but if you truly mean the things you say about her, it will all work out. It just needs a little time. And like previously stated by someone this will probably one of the smaller things you will have to deal with during a marriage! Good luck to you and I wish you all the best

thankx for replying and sharing opinion with us .. well i think everything is good with u .. your a married woman now .. having 2 young children your husband loves u .. having 4 seizures in 6 months .. i dont think its a big deal for u .. its like u have 1 seizures in about 45 days ..

 

[Starfish]

Just because she's epileptic doesn't mean that your children will be epileptic. Also epilepsy is not always a perminant condition. Not everyone can handle it, some people just can't there's nothing "wrong" with that per-say, but pretty much every epileptic I know who DIE to have that few seizures. It really isn't that bad for her. Everyone has something wrong with them. And if a condition that really isn't that bad is to much for you then what's going to happen if someone gets cancer, or if ur child has a learning disability or something? What then?

 

[limp22]

Just because she's epileptic doesn't mean that your children will be epileptic. Also epilepsy is not always a perminant condition. Not everyone can handle it, some people just can't there's nothing "wrong" with that per-say, but pretty much every epileptic I know who DIE to have that few seizures. It really isn't that bad for her. Everyone has something wrong with them. And if a condition that really isn't that bad is to much for you then what's going to happen if someone gets cancer, or if ur child has a learning disability or something? What then?

well ,your totally right with what u just said .. and u convinced me as well no one is perfect .. specially that she only had two seizures in her life ... and yeah ur right about other conditions like cancer .. im just as i said before i worry alot
and i also being worried and i think what if shes lying .. and sometimes i say no she wont she told me everything and shes not hiding anything .. anyways thanks im really being so disturbing here ! thankx for contributing

 

[Starfish]

If she's not telling you it's not because she doesn't care or is hiding it. In fact it's the exact opposite. If there's anything she's not telling you it's because she doesn't want you to worry. Just because a person has epilepsy doesn't mean that they need your help every moment, we can do a pretty okay job of managing ourselves, and if we need help, we'll ask.