This is all new to me. I was just diagnosed in May. I'm pregnant so I'm not on meds. I have simple partial seizures so according to PA law my doctor isn't required to turn me into the DMV but she did ask me not to drive unless I have too. For my own safety and the safety of my children I only drive to doctor appointments when I can't find a ride. A few weeks ago while food shopping I ran into a mom from my daughters preschool. We are new here so I'm just getting to know people in the area. We exchanged numbers and she has been calling to get together. I've asked her over here for a playdate and we have a pool so the kids can swim but the weather didn't cooperate. She has been texting me lately to meet her at the park, the waterpark, the community center, etc and every time I come up with an excuse. I don't want her to think that I'm blowing her off but I don't want to drive to these places plus with my increased anxiety since my diagnosis leaving the house with the kids alone is hard for me. I don't want to tell her that I can't drive at all b/c when school starts I might have to take my daughter on the days I can't find a ride for her. So do I tell this person that I just met about my epilepsy? I guess I'm afraid of her judging me before she even gets to know me. My close friends and family know and I am very honest about what I am going through. I just don't know how to approach this situation. Any advice would be great!
What do you tell people?
- Thread starter Beanogirl
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I can think of all sorts of less-than-honest excuses (car trouble, allergic to the steering wheel, doing your part to lessen America's dependence on oil...), but that's not your style, nor really practical if you hope to know her better.
You could just say that you've cut down on driving for health reasons, based on your doctor's advice -- and leave it at that. If the mom presses for details, you can say you're not comfortable discussing it and change the topic. If she keeps pressing, then she's being rude! If you do want to give more information, but aren't sure how she'll react to the word "seizure", you could describe your symptoms as "migraine-like" -- which is basically true given that simple partials and migraines can be virtually identical, and are on a spectrum in terms of abnormal brainwaves.
You could just say that you've cut down on driving for health reasons, based on your doctor's advice -- and leave it at that. If the mom presses for details, you can say you're not comfortable discussing it and change the topic. If she keeps pressing, then she's being rude! If you do want to give more information, but aren't sure how she'll react to the word "seizure", you could describe your symptoms as "migraine-like" -- which is basically true given that simple partials and migraines can be virtually identical, and are on a spectrum in terms of abnormal brainwaves.
Eli
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That sounds like a great suggestion. I've found in the past that saying I have seizures or epilepsy doesn't mean much to people that aren't familiar with it.
iloveshelties
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Please do not take this the wrong way...but I don't understand why some states requirw that you turn your license in and some states do NOT! I live in Maryland...just a hop, skip and a jump from PA...and I have to be seizure FREE for THREE months before I get my license back. Then, it's up to the medical board of the DMV of Maryland who contacts my Neurologist...a process which I understand can take up to ANOTHER 3 MONTHS!!! So, my point is, and I do NOT mean ANY harm to you here, is, if ONE state thinks it's not safe for someone with seizures to drive, then why is it safe for another state to let people with seizures in THEIR state drive? I just don't get it.
At first, I was SO upset when I found I had to turn my license in. Then, a co-worker of mine told me her brother-in-law, who had Epilepsy, died in a car accident because he had a seizure at the wheel. He was going 5 miles up the road to the grocery store..as if that wasn't bad enough, he hit a young mother in a car who was driving her baby in the car and the both of them died on impact. I suddenly didn't mind having my license taken away anymore, and haven't complained since.
Why isn't the law consistant from state to state as far as time licenses are revoked due to health reasons. I don' t understand this at ALL. iT'S FOR our SAFETY, AND THE SAFETY OF EVERYONE ELSE ON THE ROAD. Yes...it IS a major inconvience...but one that I can learn to live with for now.
At first, I was SO upset when I found I had to turn my license in. Then, a co-worker of mine told me her brother-in-law, who had Epilepsy, died in a car accident because he had a seizure at the wheel. He was going 5 miles up the road to the grocery store..as if that wasn't bad enough, he hit a young mother in a car who was driving her baby in the car and the both of them died on impact. I suddenly didn't mind having my license taken away anymore, and haven't complained since.
Why isn't the law consistant from state to state as far as time licenses are revoked due to health reasons. I don' t understand this at ALL. iT'S FOR our SAFETY, AND THE SAFETY OF EVERYONE ELSE ON THE ROAD. Yes...it IS a major inconvience...but one that I can learn to live with for now.
I totally understand what you are saying. My doctor didn't take my license but when I first started going she asked me not to drive until a diagnosis was made. After my video EEG both my doctors agreed that I could drive but just to be safe, only do so when necessary. This is the law in PA:
If a driver is seizure-free for six months, his physician must complete a medical report and send it to PennDOT certifying that the seizure was either a single, isolated incident or that the driver's seizure disorder is controlled by medication.
Exemptions:
The seizures occur immediately upon waking and have an established pattern for at least two years preceding
The driver experiences a prolonged aura or significant warning period preceding each seizure and this pattern has been established for at least two years
Though I was only diagnosed in May I've been having simple partial seizures for the past 4 years. I thought I was having an anxiety attack and documented them as that.
Thank you everyone for your suggestions. I think I am just going to tell her that I have a medical condition and leave it at that. I don't mind sharing things with people and tend to be very open. I would just rather get to know her better and for her to get to know me before opening up about my seizures.
If a driver is seizure-free for six months, his physician must complete a medical report and send it to PennDOT certifying that the seizure was either a single, isolated incident or that the driver's seizure disorder is controlled by medication.
Exemptions:
The seizures occur immediately upon waking and have an established pattern for at least two years preceding
The driver experiences a prolonged aura or significant warning period preceding each seizure and this pattern has been established for at least two years
Though I was only diagnosed in May I've been having simple partial seizures for the past 4 years. I thought I was having an anxiety attack and documented them as that.
Thank you everyone for your suggestions. I think I am just going to tell her that I have a medical condition and leave it at that. I don't mind sharing things with people and tend to be very open. I would just rather get to know her better and for her to get to know me before opening up about my seizures.
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I live in PA also and I'd be afarid to drive. I usually don't know when I'm going to have a seizure and if I had one while I was behind the wheel who knows what might happen.
When I first meet someone I don't come right out and say 'Hi, my name is Valerie and I have epilepsy'. It would sound like I'm at an AA meeting.
It's not like I'm embarassed to have it, I just don't think everyone in the world needs to know, only people that I spend alot of time with, or if they ask me about something and that I'm not able to do it and why. For example why I don't work or drive, but only if it comes up in the conversation.
If it's someone that I'm going to be seeing often and spending time with then I do tell them, just for the fact that if I have a seizure when I'm with them I don't want them freeking out because I start staring off into space not knowing anything that is going on around me, mumbling and sometimes drooling.
That's just how I deal with it though.