Who treats you like an adult

[valeriedl]

I'm sure a good bit of us get treated like children a lot because of having epilepsy. Some people don't want me out of their sight when we are in public because they are afraid that I may have a seizure and wonder off (my husband is a good one at this). There are a good bit of things that some family members don't like me doing when I'm home alone. Cooking on the stove or oven. Taking showers or baths. Going up and down the stairs. And many other things. Half the time I think they'd feel better if I just sat on the couch all day long until my husband got home from work then got up and did things.

My dad however treats me like I don't even have epilepsy. We've gone to the mall and he does his thing and I do mine. He may give me a call on my cell every so often just to check on me but he doesn't need to have me in his sight the whole time.

Recently we were painting his store and he had me get up on a ladder! My family told me that they didn't want me on a ladder (but I did the painting when none of them were around so they wouldn't see). My dad actually had the ladder, which was a step ladder but still a ladder, waiting for me when I came over to paint. He really didn't want me going up higher than 3 steps and I really didn't want to go higher than that. It wasn't because of the epilepsy we were both afraid that I may loose my balance and fall. He did tell me several times that if I felt like a seizure might be starting to come on to let him know, then let me get on that ladder and paint. He checked on me several times, but I think he would have done that epilepsy or not. I actually felt 36 instead of 6!

 

[Cint]

My experience has been totally opposite. I now live alone and no one ever checks on me. When I was married, I was married to a pilot and we lived 2000 miles from family so had no one to check on me when my seizures weren't under control. There were times when I begged my husband at the time to not go on such long (gone sometimes for 10 -14 days) trips because my seizures weren't under control. I couldn't drive, we had two children, one with a bad case of asthma, and I suffered from depression. Several times my daughter witnessed a TC and she called 911. I felt so angry with my husband for abandoning me and with the situation. My husband never seemed to give a shit whether I got on ladders to paint our home or was out of his sight. His only concern seemed to be about the mighty $$.

And I have had a CP seizure while cooking and did get burned on my hand. Hand to have surgery. My very first TC seizure happened while I was living at home. It was in the bathroom while coming out of the shower and I fell, hit the hot water and suffered 2nd and 3rd degree burns over 25% of my body. And both parents were at home that morning. So regardless of where one lives or who lives with you, seizures can and DO happen in the craziest places. And I'm not going to let E control me. Or those around me, either. Learn to set boundaries and have those around you do the same.

 

[masterjen]

I find it very sad, Cint, that no one ever checks in on you To me it is just normal for anyone who lives alone to have family or friends check in at least once a day because ANYTHING can happen, and it is the case for my single friends as well. I was extremely independent before I was diagnosed, but still at least one of my two closest friends or a family member would phone once a day, or me them, and you can bet if someone hadn't heard from me in a day they would be calling again or dropping by to see what's up.

Now nothing has changed in terms of the phoning, but onto what you were saying valerie, yes, shortly after diagnosis I was treated like a kid sometimes. This has really affected me and 2 years later others have more confidence in me than I do lol. I am struggling to regain my self confidence with certain things, driving especially.

 

[Juju26]

"My dad however treats me like I don't even have epilepsy."

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My dad is the same way and I LOVE IT!!!!!!!

My mother on the other hand, makes me feel as if I'm living in a nursing home and can't do anything, matter of fact, nursing home residents probably don't have people watching over them, like my mother watches over me.

I have to use the bathroom as fast as possible, because if I stay in the bathroom longer than 5 minutes, she starts to go crazy, so I try to do my "number 2's" when she is not home, I have to cook behind her back, and can't shut my door when she is home.

I know how it feels to know longer being treated like an adult, with having epilepsy, you don't only loose control of your mind and body, but also loose the feeling of being an adult.

 

[MrE]

Pssh screw people...they'll either accept and love you unconditionally or they'll criticize and treat you like you're an idiot...hate to sound so "negative" but people are careless, ignorant, and selfish animals...but what can you do...it's human nature for the primitive minded...sure we are all careless, ignorant, and selfish at times but that's okay...(some of us actually learn from it)...it's just when you go out there in the world and all you see is lies and deception everywhere that it leaves you with this maddening empty feeling inside...in other words...ATTACK OF THE CLONES!!! I dunno maybe I've allowed myself to feel bitter inside towards the dark and destructive aspects of society in this world...if so hopefully one day I'll overcome this...sometimes it's just not easy having an optimistic attitude and constructive mindset...some days are more challenging than others...some days you fail...but you always go down knowing that you at least tried...

Sometimes it seems like the only real "family" you have is yourself...and it's true...the people closest to you are the ones that can hurt you the most...which unfortunately for me has forced me to distance myself for my own safety and for others...otherwise I probably wouldn't be here typing this right now...or would I??? onder: