Why can't I stop being paranoid?

[i love to run]

My son likely has benign rolandic epilepsy. He has had 4 minor seizures and had a clear, normal MRI in may when the first 2 seizures happened. He has had no deterioration in function and all indications are that he is developing without a problem.

So knowing all of that, why can't I quit being paranoid that he has something really wrong, like a brain tumor or something. I am a bit of a Nervous Nelly to begin with. I know two children who currently are undergoing treatment for brain tumors and it has driven me nuts thinking "what if they missed it". Rationally and intellectualy, I know he's fine. Does anyone else have those sorts of fears?

My husband told me that our son's epilepsy is causing me more neurological problems that it is causing the kid who's actually having the seizures! I think he's right

 

[Nakamova]

Because you're a mom, that's why. You can't easily turn off the part of the brain that [over]worries, especially when you com across other kids with brain tumors. Is your worrying causing problems for you and/or your family? If so, then maybe you should talk to a therapist and look for ways to set your mind at ease. You don't want your son to be controlled by his illness -- and you shouldn't be controlled by it either.

 

[Fedup]

i love to run

Sit back and laugh with your husband for a minuet. There is no harm in worrying and all of us worry at sometime. Your son is lucky to have you.

 

[moongal]

It's absolutely understandable. I am sure you have nothing to worry about but if you are worried next time you see the doctors just ask them. I felt ridiculous but I actually saiid to my GP I'm afraid I'm going to die in my sleep because of the affect the new medication was having on me, it was just making me so sick, I felt ridiculous saying it, but he did reassure me and I felt much better after

 

[donnajane]

I know what you mean. I sometimes get paranoid about my little man as he is still to young to tell us more. He does have a lesian in his brain which makes me worry when he is having a bad day has what ever it is altered/grown, should i be rushing him to the hospital. But that's OK thats what mums do look after (worry) about their kids. When he has days like this I look back at the daily journal I have kept since he was first in the ED and realise he has come a long way in short time, it also helps remind me that he does have good days as well. His GP said though if you ever are uncomfortably worried contact his Nureo, GP or take him into the ED as your son has a medical condition and it's OK to seek advice/second opion. I often think he is so much better handling his issues than me as that is all he has ever known.
Take Care.
Donna

 

[Cint]

Sit back and laugh with your husband for a minuet. There is no harm in worrying and all of us worry at sometime. Your son is lucky to have you.

I beg to differ with you about worrying.... there is plenty of harm in worrying if you do too much of it. I agree with Nak that maybe therapy would be a good stress relief. Read on about physical effects of worrying:

http://www.webmd.com/balance/guide/how-worrying-affects-your-body?page=2

Chronic worry and emotional stress can trigger a host of health problems. The problem occurs when fight or flight is triggered daily by excessive worrying and anxiety. The fight or flight response causes the body’s sympathetic nervous system to release stress hormones such as cortisol. These hormones can boost blood sugar levels and triglycerides (blood fats) that can be used by the body for fuel. The hormones also cause physical reactions such as:

difficulty swallowing
dizziness
dry mouth
fast heartbeat
fatigue
headaches
inability to concentrate
irritability
muscle aches
muscle tension
nausea
nervous energy
rapid breathing
shortness of breath
sweating
trembling and twitching

When the excessive fuel in the blood isn’t used for physical activities, the chronic anxiety and outpouring of stress hormones can have serious physical consequences, including:

suppression of the immune system
digestive disorders
muscle tension
short-term memory loss
premature coronary artery disease
heart attack

In severe cases when excessive worrying and high anxiety go untreated, they can lead to depression and even suicidal thoughts.

 

[i love to run]

I'm not to the point where it's interfering with our lives because I won't let it. I keep it in or share with my husband, but I don't say anything in front of my son, of course. I do try to keep a sense of humor about it because I realize on many levels that it's irrational.

I talked to his Dr about it and he assured me, with a "calm down mom" sort of chuckle, that any tumor big enough to cause seizures won't be missed with an MRI. Thankfully the Dr. knows I'm a worrier and humors all of my paranoias!

 

[Fedup]

Cint

Its good that you differ with me. My point is simple. This Lady is worrying about her child something I am sure you understand and as a mother what would you expect. Worrying that the doctors missed something important like she said. As you said Chronic worry and emotional stress can trigger a host of health problems. As you may also be aware one of the best ways of dealing with stress or worry is relaxation it is something practiced for a long time. Nakamova is quite correct in everything he said and all the other contributors. As a mother it is not her fault she worries and her son is very lucky to have such a mother, anyone would be. Relaxation and laughter are proven to help relieve stress and worry. There is a big difference between chronic worry and worry about your son something which does effect you however there can be help.

 

[Cint]

Cint

Its good that you differ with me. My point is simple. This Lady is worrying about her child something I am sure you understand and as a mother what would you expect.
Worrying that the doctors missed something important like she said. As you said Chronic worry and emotional stress can trigger a host of health problems. As you may also be aware one of the best ways of dealing with stress or worry is relaxation it is something practiced for a long time. Nakamova is quite correct in everything he said and all the other contributors.

As a mother, it is "normal" to worry somewhat, especially if a child has some sort of health problem(s). I have two now grown children. My youngest had a bad case of asthma when he was young. He needed daily nebulizer treatments and had to keep his inhalants at school, bedside,everywhere he existed. Sometimes he was rushed to the hospital because none of it worked. In addition, I was the one with E and couldn't drive, my husband at the time was a pilot, so I had to call a friend when my son needed an emergency treatment. So yes, I do expect a mother to worry some.

As a mother it is not her fault she worries and her son is very lucky to have such a mother, anyone would be. Relaxation and laughter are proven to help relieve stress and worry. There is a big difference between chronic worry and worry about your son something which does effect you however there can be help.

Yes there is a big difference between chronic worry and normal worrying. However, it is one's own "problem" in how they deal with it. When I was going thru it all, I chose therapy in order to deal with it all in addition to meditation, sleep and rest.

 

[MaryK]

I love to run: I so empathize with you. My little sister was diagnosed with epilepsy as a baby and my mom had similar worries as you are having; unfortunately, that was before MRI studies, CT scans etc that are oh so helpful now. I was diagnosed years later.

As others have said you are a Mom and a good Mom. Your husband sounds wonderfully reassuring along with the doctor. Through the years I have learned that all of us have different coping skills not to mention how we uniquely have our very own perception on a same issue. Have you thought about very short-term counseling? In different situations in my lifetime I have found this very helpful to help sort out my fears, the 'what if's', etc.

Take care
Mary