worried about memory loss/confusion

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Haha we had an incident at work last night and the procedure is that when things get really violent/aggressive then we have to call our area manager for some back up. I called her from my mobile (cell) outside the house and she didn't seem impressed that I had her private number stored on my phone. The thing is that I don't. It's stored in my head. I only have to dial an 11 digit number a couple of times and I remember it. Yet I couldnt remember what I'd done for the entire shift leading upto the incident. The brain is a funny ole thing
 
Good one Loop! Now I can't even remember my own phone #. Are you using brain exercises? Come on tell me I gotta know!lol
 
Elsie, I HEAR you! My 19 yr. old keeps saying things to me like, remember we already DID that, Mom...or you saw that already Mommm you hated it!...and I'll be like, ummmm no I didn't! I NEVER saw that before in my LIFE!!! or....I never ate that in my life...or I have NEVER seen that movie...and I HONESTLY never remember it...and it's really starting to upset me becasue she and my husband look at me in this way that I can't even describe...like they can't even believe that I can't possibly not remember...and I feel utterly stupid...I feel...BLANK...yeah, that's the word...blank...I try and try to pull the memor up from my brain because they BOTH stand there saying it DID happen...and I WANT to agree with them for the sake of agreeing...but I can't...and I just want to cry. So I just walk away and change the subject. It is ALL starting to upset me terribly. THIS is all starting to be the most upsetting part of this whole obnoxious experience as far as I am comcerned. I was ALWASY an extremely intelligent person. now, I feel like I'm a person who loses her words and can't remember anything that once happened.
 
iloveshelties said:
THIS is all starting to be the most upsetting part of this whole obnoxious experience as far as I am comcerned. I was ALWASY an extremely intelligent person. now, I feel like I'm a person who loses her words and can't remember anything that once happened.
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In the early stages, that's what bothered me the most too, iloveshelties. I'd really started "beating myself up" about all the things I couldn't remember that I should have, all the work stuff I suddenly couldn't do, and that I couldn't remember my dog agility courses.

When my CT scan results came back with "Temporal lobe atrophy" (etc), along with an explanation that it was indicative of dementia (18mths ago), it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. I very rarely "beat myself up" for all the things I can't remember, can't do, and can't mentally process. I can't help it, and I have the scans to prove why. I've also lost 20 IQ points, according to my last test (and that was on a good day).

Whatever the reason - be it atrophy, scarring, some other brain damage, medication - we are all in the same boat here: We can't help it that our brains don't work properly anymore. We need to be kinder to ourselves, and when something doesn't make sense, just note it (for our next neuro/epileptologist appt) and move on.
 
Chel,
I know you are right...I KNOW what you say makes sense...but I guess it's because this is all so NEW to me...this diagnosis is still fresh and new to me...only since 2 months. I was a practicing registered nurse at one time. Now I work as a Special Ed. assistant in a Middle School. I am the person people always come to because I they consider me the smart one ( not bragging here...I'm just giving you an idea...I'm considered " the smart one"...lol) I always took pride in being smart, well spoken, having a vast vocabulary, etc...now, I feel like it's all being taken away from me. Thanks to the Topamax, I feel like my brain has turned to mush!
I agree with you with you when you say we have to be kinder to ourselves and "move on"...I can do the "be kinder to myself" part...that's easy...it's the "move on" I'm having trouble with! How do I do THAT part???
 
My memory just keeps going away each day.

At our dinner table my husband will say the blessing, mind you I AM setting there.

Next thing I know I setting waiting for him to say to blessing. He has gotten use to it.
He just Y I've blessed already, you can eat now.

I've always try making a joke of it, but Now like you yall, I'm embarrassed.
 
stilldancing_98 said:
Good one Loop! Now I can't even remember my own phone #. Are you using brain exercises? Come on tell me I gotta know!lol
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Honestly I have no idea! One of my friends at my last workplace didn't believe me about that so she challenged me to remember every staff members phone number. There was about 9 of us at the time. It took me about a week, but I did it and they're still up there. I'm also good at games like guitar hero not because I have fast reactions, but I remember where all the notes are and what's coming up next.

I wonder if that sort of memory uses a different part of the brain?
 
iloveshelties said:
I am the person people always come to because I they consider me the smart one ( not bragging here...I'm just giving you an idea...I'm considered " the smart one"...lol) I always took pride in being smart, well spoken, having a vast vocabulary, etc...now, I feel like it's all being taken away from me. Thanks to the Topamax, I feel like my brain has turned to mush!
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Not bragging here, either, but I also used to be "the smart one"; now I'm "the dumb one". I've had 18 months to get used to the idea (in my case, of dementia), so quite a bit longer than you have. I'm also on Topamax, but don't blame it for my "dumbing down", as I was already on that slippery slope, long before starting medication for E or migraine (I take Topamax for migraine).

The only time I know I'm not "moving on" from it, is when someone who is supposed to be a friend makes an insensitive comment, such as happened recently. But that's more about managing a relationship, than managing how I feel about myself.

Just know that you're amongst friends when you come here.
 
Thank you, Chel, I DO feel so much better here, and know that you all totally understand what I am going through. I have visited another Epilepsy message board, and I did NOT feel comfortable there at ALL. I immediatly felt like I was being lectured, being talked down to and given nothing but facts to read. I felt very unwelcomed and uncomfortable there...not like I do here! Here everyone makes me feel right at home and makes me feel like I can say whatever I want and I'm not going to be attacked for what I say. Thank you all for that!
 
Does the memory ability decrease over time if occasional uncontrolled seizures occur? My neurologist thinks so, but I have read mixed opinions. If not, occasional seizures seem to be better than the side effects of lots of medication. What thinkest thou?
 
Occasional seizures have not only been shown to decrease memory but also increase the probability of more frequent and more severe seizures as time goes on.

Interictal disturbances of memory and attention were evaluated in 74 adults with newly-diagnosed untreated epileptic seizures and no other known brain pathology. In approximately 30% of the patients with cryptogenic seizures, the average memory and attention scores indicated subtle dysfunction compared with normal control group. The patients had difficulties in tasks requiring memory, sustained attention and flexible mental processing, whereas they had normal attention span, simple speed of tracking and simple psychomotor speed. The memory difficulties may be related to attentional dysfunction leading to impaired or slowed initial encoding of memory trace, and also to a deficit in storing process and hippocampal dysfunction. These findings could have important implications for establishing criteria for identifying patients who develop chronic epilepsy and who thereby would benefit from early therapeutic intervention.
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http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/105913119290034X
 
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After 3 yrs of AEDs and still having frequent auras{simple partials} my memory problems have definitely gotten worse and varied.Im now starting to see a decline in shortterm which was never an issue before.I have temporal lobe which is characterized by interictal spikes which I believe is causing these small breaks in the ability to "make memories" Past 3 nights i have put on same tv show and cant remember watching it,whereas before it usually took about a week for me to forget what a show was about
 
I was tring to call my DDS. and called myself.

I could not fugure out why this person calling me, would no answer.

just thought you get a laugh, I did.
 
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