SOMETHING I GOT EMAILED TO ME
Only great minds can read this
This is weird, but
fi yuo cna
raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe
out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht
I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal...
Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America.....do banks...
Two Red Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods.
All of a sudden one of the Red Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave.
'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering,
'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo!
He then tore off...
Did you ever stop and wonder......
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'
Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'...
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough to pay it?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why does someone believe you when you say...
During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
All hotel beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying...
Julie Andrews Turns 69
To commemorate her birthday , actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan 's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was 'My Favorite Things' from the legendary movie 'Sound Of Music'...
NOTE From the Moderator:
This thread is not intended to offend people
with Epilepsy at all. If you are finding this offensive
please do not read this thread.
I'm usually a "glass half empty" sort of a person, but I have lately been trying really hard...
The following are questions, and answers given to children about marriage :
( 1 ) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.-- Alan, age 10 (true sports fan)
( 2 ) No person...
John was a salesman's delight when it came to
any kind of unusual gimmick . . .
His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change.
One day, John came home with another one of his unusual purchases.
It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.
Some of you will remember this, and some are too young. These things are TRUE.
"Hey Dad," my kid asked the other day, "What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up? " "We didn't have fast food when I was growing up," I informed her. "All the food was slow."
OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet!
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'
The next day the 85-year-old...
A few days before Christmas, a man enters a pet store looking for an unusual gift for his wife. The store manager tells him he has just what he's looking for! A beautiful parrot named Chet that sings Christmas carols.
He brings the husband over to a colorful but quiet bird. The man agrees that...
I love jokes so if I ever see any jokes I'll post them here to share. Some of them you may have seen already though.
Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary.
His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning,
I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to...
One man came to the Doctor and said
"Doctor, Doctor I feel like a bee" and
the doctor replied "Well buzz off then!"
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a
bottle of gin.
I think you need a little tonic was his
Doctor, doctor. I'm becoming invisible.
Yes, I can see that you're not all...