Old Age (joke)...

TeeTees

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OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet!

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with
her teeth out, still nothing.

We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she
even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing. The doctor was shocked!

'You asked your neighbour?'

The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.'
 

speber

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Was the man's name Cletus?

:rock:
 

Katz

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Why not break the jar?

On another subject I got a great joke. Why don't we elect Socks the cat for president since both candidates are idiots? Most domesticated felines know to use the litter box but most politicians spread that stuff on the airwaves and around. It's obvious neither of these people care about our future as a people so that means we just don't have one. The only thing we'd have to worry about is the Chinese might try to eat the new president with a side of lo mein. How much trouble could a feline cause anyway? The situation is hopeless so I say make fun of the entire thing. Since the Special interest groups run things anyways and the government doesn't care so why take them seriously we are only fooling ourselves if we think they care so the only hope I see is to make the whole bunch of them look stupid. They are full of stuff that smells. Cats usually are trained what to do with stuff that smells bad. So if they don't care why shouldn't we take either of them seriously?

A vote for Socks the cat is a vote for a less smelly future for our country.:)
 

drarvindr

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Here's a good one:
An elderly couple visit a sexologist. He's a bit surprised , but tries to hide it. The old gent says " Sir , we're having a bit of a problem , I'd appreciate it if you'f take the time to watch our technique and tell us exactly what's going wrong".And they proceed to do it in his office. Afterwards , the doctor says" i don't see anything wrong . " the man says " maybe we're a bit anxious because you're around. it'll take time to get used to you watching." The doctor says " whatever. see you next thursday.". Ths same thing happens the next two weeks. Finally the doctor cracks." there's nothing wrong with either of you ! why do you keep coming?"
The guy smiles and says " Well , doc it's like this , On thursdays , her husband's home and so is my wife. Hotels are expensive. At least this way we can see each other on thursdays and medicare foots the bill!"
 

Screamy

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Ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!! Gold TeeTees!!!!

Dr. Arvind that is an excellent too!! Laughing does nothing to cure epilepsy but certainly takes my mind off of it for a bit!!
 
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